Here's one of the best one-liners I've seen around here:

Link (http://www.access-programmers.co.uk/forums/showpost.php?p=391751&postcount=11)

Anybody else have any?

Here's one of the best one-liners I've seen around here:

Link (http://www.access-programmers.co.uk/forums/showpost.php?p=391751&postcount=11)

Anybody else have any?

I don't like that one :rolleyes:

Its all in the timing -

http://www.access-programmers.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?p=526803#post526803

Not a cooler thread, but still pretty funny. This was posted in the Chinese Transplants Political Thread by Adeptus.

http://access-programmers.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?p=527355#post527355

Considering all of the constant abuse, America bashing, irreverence, etc, etc, etc, from these users, I couldn't resist but still restrained myself from being overly crude to offer this slick come back...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

: Originally Posted by ColinEssex
so where is Gloria this afternoon? off trying to think up more instances of how the US has stopped us from speaking German I s'pose

Actually I was wondering if his name was Mike (Gloria's - not MSP)

Col


my response to the above comment:

Our other favorite... Hey everyone...it's...Colin of Essex...(clap sign lights)...

Yeah Col...between you and Rich, he's still our favorite "cartoon" but you are a very close 2nd...very much like code for the bathroom; he's #1 and you're #2!

...so ends the lesson because that is by far, more clever than you two could ever hope to be!?#?$?!

Where's the slick bit?:confused: :rolleyes:

Where's the slick bit?:confused: :rolleyes:

Big shocker...you don't get it...well, I'm sure others will and that's the point!

I counted four lines. And it wasn't funny.

I counted four lines. And it wasn't funny.

Opinions will vary and yours and your lot don't matter to me and mine...:eek:

GML.
Self praise is no praise. and must you infest more threads , atleast if you stay on the Ryder cup thread you are easy to ignore.

Brian

GML.
Self praise is no praise. and must you infest more threads , atleast if you stay on the Ryder cup thread you are easy to ignore.

Brian

Yeah, I would have thought so too but apparently not because you guys keep chiming in so there must be something to it, huh?...

I've sought out as many threads as I can and will continue, you bet, because I'm happy to recant your lots foolish comments whenever and wherever I can!

Maybe if you guys would grow up a little and talk to people with more respect, you'd get more respect...there's a thought...but you insist on harping on people's user names, wanting and demanding to know every detail and that's just not going to happen so when I ignore you, you know why.

I don't, nor does anyone else, owe you guys an explanation to anything we post so deal with it.

Opinions will vary and yours and your lot don't matter to me and mine...:eek:
Reminds me of Dyke 375:rolleyes:

Actually GML,

Brian is usually very considerate, and sometimes it is evident that he cringes from some of the remarks of his countrymen.

I've noticed a few posts myself...a few...thanks!
:cool:

GML (and those that followed, but he started it),
Must you pollute every thread with bickering?

This thread was supposed to be for pointing out funny/witty one-liners
(by others, not yourself)

Next you'll be invading the "best jokes" thread :mad:

GML (and those that followed, but he started it),
Must you pollute every thread with bickering?

This thread was supposed to be for pointing out funny/witty one-liners
(by others, not yourself)

Next you'll be invading the "best jokes" thread :mad:

I'm glad for you that you haven't had to babysit these guys but I have had to and I'm not backing down for them or anyone else...:cool:

I think this guy's been hit on the head with a golf ball too many times, he's deranged:rolleyes:

Get back on topic people!

Get back on topic people!

It's difficult with GML around, mind you he's not all bad , he's managed to unite Col and Rich with Ken and Greg!:D

Brian

It's difficult with GML around, mind you he's not all bad , he's managed to unite Col and Rich with Ken and Greg!:D

Brian

Obviously, you have difficulty staying on topic too, but that last part does belong in this thread. :D

Wow, it's changed here!!

Obviously, you have difficulty staying on topic too, .. :D

Who? moi? :eek: :cool:

A lot of the very best were taken out in the last meltdown. I've searched for some and can't find them...:(

Well i dont know about all of you but i find the conflict rather interesting, pitty the thread went a little off track but what else can you do, make a thread called GML vs The Rest...:p

Anybody else have any?

I thought this of one of the best I came across :

Originally Posted by dan-cat
Meanwhile the tempestuous phenomenon known as ColandRich seems to have settled down for the time being.
Perhaps due to the calming Kraj factor from the north.

Kraj: Yeah....cuz I have such a claming effect on them. I think tea time is a better explanation.

dan-cat : shhhhh - if you're very quiet you can almost hear them munching on their scones and butter.

dan-cat : shhhhh - if you're very quiet you can almost hear them munching on their scones and butter.

Had you read on a little further you would have seen that scones are for the tourists, hell we even sell them to Americans:p

I thought this of one of the best I came across :

Originally Posted by dan-cat
Meanwhile the tempestuous phenomenon known as ColandRich seems to have settled down for the time being.
Perhaps due to the calming Kraj factor from the north.

Kraj: Yeah....cuz I have such a claming effect on them. I think tea time is a better explanation.

dan-cat : shhhhh - if you're very quiet you can almost hear them munching on their scones and butter.

I remember that one - It was one of the better ones - :D :D

Had you read on a little further you would have seen that scones are for the tourists, hell we even sell them to Americans:p

I was just doing some digging in some older threads and found that one. :p

To be honest Rich, I did't even know what scones are , but found that this is a mixture of zelfrijzend bakmeel , vanille and sugar ? :D

Another one I liked :

Quote:
Originally Posted by Len Boorman
I must admit that the skill in forming such well defined and meaningful names for each month leaves me in awe of the identities you must have for tables, forms, fields and queries in your databases.

Who said the world is missing out on intellectual input

L



Pono1 :
Someone take away Len's whiskey -- he's throwing around his intellect in the WaterCooler.

I was just doing some digging in some older threads and found that one. :p

To be honest Rich, I did't even know what scones are , but found that this is a mixture of zelfrijzend bakmeel , vanille and sugar ? :D
When topped with jam and clotted cream, delicious:cool:
and of course fruit scones are the best;)

How would you know, Rich? I thought the scones were for the tourists. :p

How would you know, Rich? I thought the scones were for the tourists. :p
Now you've mentioned it, I had to have one with a HOT cup of coffee:p

Coffee? No tea? Now you're just killing all my stereotypes!

Coffee? No tea? Now you're just killing all my stereotypes!
Haven't drunk tea for years:eek:

Wow! I'm more of a Brit than you! :p

Wow! I'm more of a Brit than you! :p
Well actually not since we now consume more coffee than the Yanks:p
http://www.coffeeresearch.org/market/consumption.htm

But I drink more tea than you, so where does that leave us? ;)

Well actually not since we now consume more coffee than the Yanks:p
http://www.coffeeresearch.org/market/consumption.htm
correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that chart show that the US consumes nearly 2kg/person more than the UK (although avg .5Kg/person less than the entire EU)?:confused:

as an aside... 11.5Kg/person in Finland??? I would have chosen something more interesting to combat the cold, myself;) Wonder if they all just sit around and shake:eek:

Well actually not since we now consume more coffee than the Yanks:p
http://www.coffeeresearch.org/market/consumption.htm

Maybe I'm reading this 20 year old data (!) wrong, but does it not say that the UK consumes 2.5 kg/person, while the USA consumes 4.5 kg/person?

Edit: Ah Bodi, you beat me.

You guys just don't get the whole picture do you:p
I was comparing the EU figures with the US otherwise it would be like leaving Texas out of the US stats:cool: :p

Mike375 thread :


Originally Posted by Uncle Gizmo
Hey Kodo , maybe you should try to teach Mike regular expressions? Now that would be an interesting thread .....


Kodo :
I'd rather subject my nipples to hot tar..


Uncle Gizmo :
Spelling mistake?
I'd rather subject my nipples to a hot tart....

:eek: :eek:

:D :D :D That one got my vote

Mike375 thread :



Kodo :
I'd rather subject my nipples to hot tar..


Uncle Gizmo :
Spelling mistake?
I'd rather subject my nipples to a hot tart....
Bwahahahahahahaa....catdamn! :D

Wosley
Once again, how many Americans or American families do you know personally?

Rich
56

Made me laugh

Yep, seem to be a lot of good one-liners in the political forums... I guess it partially makes up for all the politics in the 'cooler...

http://www.access-programmers.co.uk/forums/showpost.php?p=535918&postcount=455

Originally Posted by SJ McAbney
It was a simple joke by Kerry saying that if people didn't study hard enough then they'll end up in the military. It's probably a rather true statement.

KenHig posted: How many of your friends or relatives have ever served in the military?

SJ McAbney replied:
Quite a few. My father, my uncle. My sister's fiance. Some other friends. Why? Their military involvement has nothing to do with John Kerry or Iraq.


KenHig: Guess your father, uncle and sister's fiance should have studied harder.

Jeez, that was pretty hardcore lol. I prolly wouldnt have come right out with that, hehe. Great one liner though, and SJ set him/herself up pretty good for it.

Bitch!:mad: :p

Now that is a quality one liner, lol! Colin is gonna straight up feint, hehe.

http://www.access-programmers.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=99552&page=15

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