Isaac
Lifelong Learner
- Local time
 - Today, 04:06
 
- Joined
 - Mar 14, 2017
 
- Messages
 - 11,701
 
I have no problem with the idea. But it has to start in childhood by teaching children about fairness to include gender fairness. For instance, a divorce court finding is already too late since one side or the other suffered before they got there.
I will cautiously agree with that statement, of course, gender fairness is a loaded term.
A little bit of honest "telling" about sexuality, in the vein of what we thought they meant when they started it decades ago, is probably a good idea.
It being ultra-forbidden just makes it seem more interesting.
Then there are the other extremes, where some people think it means this
I'm just saying it's a matter of perspective, and you're right, indoctrination to some extent.
I've seen men who expect their wife to do everything in the world except the one thing the man does (9-5).
That obviously seems wrong.
Then again, I see a LOT of women--in fact curiously, I will admit, often in religious/church settings--who see the man's job is to take care of their every want, need hope and dream....Which is an OK thing to expect of your spouse, IF you also take the exact same approach. I.E., if both people are approaching the relationship with a "I am frequently thinking of your wants and needs, and how to help you be happy" [selflessness], then a relationship seems to be pretty amazing and great. If only one gender is taught that, it becomes ... just a tad exploitative.
Both genders have gotten it terribly wrong at various points in history. And I will admit - I see a bit of that 'leaning' going in the wrong direction right now in the very modern Christian churches. The husbands following the wife around like a dog on a leash, with her controlling and dominating every imaginable aspect of their lives, in return for giving the husband that one little thing he wants every few days. It's a bit silly.
Great marriages occur when both people are genuinely trying to be selfless and sacrificially loving as often as they can muster.
Frankly, I'm still working on that myself! But I can tell that's the key.