Got it. Here's my solution:
SELECT IIf([MSysObjects].[Type]=1,'TABLE',
IIf([MSysObjects].[Type]=5,'QUERY',
IIf([MSysObjects].[Type]=-32768,'FORM',
IIf([MSysObjects].[Type]=-32764,'REPORT',
IIf([MSysObjects].[Type]=-32766,'MACRO',
IIf([MSysObjects].[Type]=-32761,'MODULE'...