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"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons." -- Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949

Goes Fishing A woman wanted to go ice fishing, so after getting all of the right tools, she headed toward the nearest frozen lake. After getting comfy on her stool she started to cut a circular hole in the ice. Then from the heavens a voice boomed, ''THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.''...

Two old men had been best friends for years, and they both live to their early 90's, when one of them suddenly falls deathly ill. His friend comes to visit him on his deathbed, and they're reminiscing about their long friendship, when the dying man's friend asks, "Listen, when you die, do me a...

Patient: Doctor, what I need is something to stir me up; something to put me in a fighting mood. Did you put something like that in this prescription? Doctor: No need for that. You will find that in your bill.

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define great, he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain...

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods: On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!) On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase...

This is my father... The telephone rings in the principal's office at a school. "Hello, this is Dunn Elementary," answers the principal. "Hi. Jimmy won't be able to come to school all next week," replies the voice. "Well, what seems to be the problem with him?" "We are all going on a family...

A farmer and his wife went to a fair. The farmer was fascinated by the airplanes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost. "$10 for 3 minutes," replied the pilot. "That's too much," said the farmer. The pilot thought for a second and then said, "I'll make you a deal. If you and your wife...

Funny one liners Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. " - Albert Einstein Don't go around saying the world owes you a living; the world owes you nothing; it was here first. - Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] Those are my...

This guy goes into a restaurant for a Christmas breakfast while in his home town for the holidays. After looking over the menu he says, 'I'll just have the eggs Benedict.' His order comes a while later and it's served on a huge, fancy chrome plate. He asks the waiter, 'What's with the fancy...

A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery. The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order." The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have a scotch and soda."

Belated Happy Birthday!

Supposedly, these are actual advertisements that have appeared in papers across the country Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family. A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms. Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35...

In a way, George Washington was an unlucky President. He could not blame the previous Administration.

Bob, I looked at your objXL code in other threads and made it to work. This is what I used. For simplicity, I used a Form. ----------------------------------------- Dim objXL As Object Dim xlWB As Object Set objXL = CreateObject("Excel.Application") Set xlWB =...

A big shot city lawyer and an old country farmer got into a car wreck. They both got out of their cars to survey the damage. After looking over the lawyer in his $1,000 suit, the farmer walked back to his car, got out a bottle, and brought it back. He handed it to the lawyer, and said...

Thanks Bob. I was not able to make it to work. No error messages. I was using .xls file. I will play with it more. I do have references to Microsoft Excel 12.0 object Library. Jacob

I use WindowsXP and ACCESS2007. Using VBA (in ACCESS) how can I delete any one worksheet from an EXCEL file? I have an EXCEL file called STAFFING.xls. It has several worksheets like ENG, FIN, IT, HR etc. How can I delete just one worksheet (FIN) using VBA in ACCESS? Any help will be appreciated.

Congrats to Hey & Jez. Can you please post a wedding picture? Thanks.

BP announced today that they will no longer hire Cajuns to help in the cleanup. Thibodeaux, Boudreaux,and Fontenot were told to clean as many brown pelicans as they could.... So far, Thibodeaux has cleaned and gutted over 56 birds while Boudreaux made the roux and Fontenot cooked the rice.