Any One Read This? (1 Viewer)

[skea]

Any One Read This?

Dear Wife, Partner, Girlfriend,

1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the
sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware
of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that
way you will be able to join in the conversations.

If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in
a bad way, or you will be totally ignored.
DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.

2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at
all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a
glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your
eye).

3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during
a game, I don't mind,as long as you do it crawling on
the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to
stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put
clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I
wont have time to take you to the doctor or look after
you during the World Cup month

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute,
unless I require a refill of my drink or something to
eat.
You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen
to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick
up the baby that just fell on the floor....It won't
happen.

5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least
2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as
plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make
any funny faces to my friends when they come over to
watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use
the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good
game that I missed during the day.

6. Please, please, please!! If you see me upset
because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "get
over it, its only a game", or "don't worry,they'll win
next time". If you say these things,you will only make
me angrier and I will love you less.
Remember, you will never ever know more about
football than me and your so called "words of
encouragement" will only lead to a break up or
divorce.

7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game
and you can talk to me during halftime but only
when the commercials are on, and only if the
half time score is pleasing me. In addition, please
note I am saying "one"game; hence do not use
the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend
time together".

8. The replays of the goals are very important. I
don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them,
I want to see them again. Many times.

9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any
other child related parties or gatherings that
requires my attendance because:
a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.

10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his
house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in
a flash.

11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every
night is just as important as the games themselves.
Do not even think about saying "but you have already
seen this...why don't you change the channel to
something we can all watch?" because, the reply
will be, "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".

12. And finally, please save your expressions such
as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years".
I am immune to these words, because after this comes
the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League,
Premier League, FA Cup, etc.

Thank you for your cooperation.

 

[selenau837]

OMG, that is sooo funny.

That also reminds me of the World Series, and the Super Bowl, and the Play Offs....

 

[ColinEssex]

Ahhh, the "world" series. . . . . . . . . . . . . . no I'm not going to say it Ken

Col

 

[selenau837]

Ahhh, the "world" series. . . . . . . . . . . . . . no I'm not going to say it Ken

Col

Behave Colin deary!! *playful stern look*

 

[KenHigg]

Ahhh, the "world" series. . . . . . . . . . . . . . no I'm not going to say it Ken

Col

Kind of like the 'United' in United Kingdom, eh...

 

[Rich]

Kind of like the 'United' in United Kingdom, eh...

That is correct except that in this case the UK is made up of four countries, whilst "the world series" consists of only one

 

[Matty]

That is correct except that in this case the UK is made up of four countries, whilst "the world series" consists of only one

Actually, two.

 

[ColinEssex]

Actually, two.

actually, not exactly "the world" though is it? actually

or is the USA rounders association - or is it the game where the players rush at each other and fight even when they haven't got the ball, I forget the name now - anyway, are they not aware of anything beyond the borders of Canada?

Col

 

[Matty]

actually, not exactly "the world" though is it? actually

or is the USA rounders association - or is it the game where the players rush at each other and fight even when they haven't got the ball, I forget the name now - anyway, are they not aware of anything beyond the borders of Canada?

Col

Hey, I'm just correcting Rich. I understand you're reasoning.

 

[KenHigg]

Actually, two.

Please don't correct Ricky in public, remember, he's 'educated'...

 

[Pauldohert]

The world extends as far as Toronto?

 

[ColinEssex]

Please don't correct Ricky in public, remember, he's 'educated'...

Well at least he doesn't go around upsetting everyone

Col

 

[Matty]

I didn't say that. Rich just said that the world series was comprised of one country, and I corrected him saying it actually consists of two. I never said that those two countries were the whole world.

 

[Rich]

Kind of like the 'United' in United Kingdom, eh...

Certainly not United as in States

 

[Rich]

Please don't correct Ricky in public, remember, he's 'educated'...

Thank you, now if you'd listen more often just imagine how erudite you could become, but then again maybe not

 

[ColinEssex]

I didn't say that. Rich just said that the world series was comprised of one country, and I corrected him saying it actually consists of two. I never said that those two countries were the whole world.

Just chill Matt I wasn't referring to you

Col

 

[Matty]

I wasn't referring to you either. I was replying to Pauldohert.

 

[selenau837]

Both y'all chill......Dag-nab-it!!

 

[Rich]

Actually, two.

The US and Canada, well that's America then

 

[Matty]

*Puts a gold star on Rich's paper*