Harassment at Work (1 Viewer)

[scott-atkinson]

Has anybody been the recipient of Harassment in the workplace?

What was your experience, where did it lead to?

I ask, because a report in the UK today shows that 50% of women find themselves victims of harassment in the workplace. A shocking statistic given we are in the 21st century and supposedly enlightened and more equal.

I'm sure the harassment is not limited to women though but the survey was only conducted with women.

I have been a victim of a bully in the workplace, luckily for me I was not committed to the company I was working for and was only on a short-term contract and was pretty glad to have left when it ended.

 

[kevlray]

I do not recall anytime in the last 30 years (probably before that) that I was ever harassed at work. I felt very uncomfortable at one job because the senior staff were smokers and I am not (they tried to keep me up wind).

 

[The_Doc_Man]

I was not personally involved at the time but was only a bystander. About 35 years ago, a friend of mine lost his job as a technical draftsman because he was gay and that fact slipped out. (In essence, he did not deny it when asked.)

One of our yammer-head employees with some seniority took it on himself to claim that "P" had made a pass at him. I talked with "P" later and found out that the conversation stopped when he admitted his preferences. There was no pass, but the yammer-head was a religious extremist who wouldn't leave well enough alone. To tell the truth, even if "P" had been on the prowl (which he was not; I knew his then-current significant other), the yammer-head would not have been his style anyway.

I count that as sexual harassment at work, particularly since an unfounded accusation cost my friend his job.

I also learned of a more recent case where inadvertently a young woman in a T-shirt got doused - and I witnessed that it WAS an accident because a hose came lose from a sprinkler and sort of danced around the yard, spritzing everyone anywhere near it, including "J" and a couple of others. A few people (including "J") laughed about it. She went in and changed shirts. It was forgotten until six months later when the complaint came up for investigation regarding putting "J" in a wet T-shirt predicament.

The worst part of it was that the complainant was a miserable woman who complained about everything else, so I can't say I'm surprised she griped about "J" in a wet T-shirt. In this case, "J" is still there but the investigation showed that the complainant was in essence blowing things WAY out of proportion. She got transferred to someplace else because her harassment complaint backfired on her and made her persona non grata with our department. Considering all the griping she did, I would not have been sorry to hear she got sent to the base on Hawaii where everyone else would have been having fun in the sand and all she would have done was to (as the Navy guys put it) go pound sand. It may be cruel of me to say it but the most merciful thing that could have happened then is that some rescue organization would have mistaken her for a beached whale and then towed her back to whale spawning grounds.

 

[scott-atkinson]

I'm a very friendly and quite tactile person and think nothing of touching a colleagues (Male or Female) arm/shoulder when saying hello or when in a mutual jolly situation.

But given the findings of this report I feel that I should not be doing that anymore in case it is perceived in the wrong way and I become a victim of somebodies misreading of the gesture.

This goes against my nature and will be hard for me not to do it.

Should I be actively stopping it, or is it the other persons problem and not mine.

 

[Frothingslosh]

You're kind of in a middle ground. If someone can argue that you're being patronizing or demeaning by doing it (think: boss puts his arm around his female employees shoulders every time he talks to her), then you might get asked by HR to stop. If someone (or HR) asks you not to do it and you continue, then you'd definitely have an issue on your hands. Otherwise, you're probably technically fine.

That said, think of this: some people just don't like to get touched. I hate Hate HATE having other people inside my personal space, much less having someone who's not a good friend (or better) touch me, and someone who touched my arm or shoulder every time they spoke to me would annoy me very, very quickly. And on top of that, most of those people tend to be introverted, which means that most of them won't speak up and will just resent it more and more.

It's not hard to greet acquaintances like co-workers without grabbing hold of them, so unless you're POSITIVE that they're fine with it, you might be better off restricting that kind of greeting to your actual friends and family. That's just a personal observation, though.

 

[kevlray]

A few years ago, a female worker that I had not seen in quite a while (I had helped her and her staff a lot) gave me a hug out of the blue. It made me quite nervous (partially because I am married). There were several other people around at the time. I sure she was just being friendly, but I did not want the hug to be misinterpreted.

 

[The_Doc_Man]

I have maybe two or three female co-workers who will allow a hug. The rest, I don't even try.

 

[Steve R.]

I ask, because a report in the UK today shows that 50% of women find themselves victims of harassment in the workplace. A shocking statistic given we are in the 21st century and supposedly enlightened and more equal.

I would start by questioning the efficacy of the survey. Was it made with the undisclosed intent of "proving" the agenda of a special interest group?

So, according to the survey, 50% of woman were harassed at work. While it may be a valid statement, what percentage of men have been harassed at work? Maybe men are the greater victims of harassment.

Next, did the harassment have anything to do with sexism? There are "bad" people (both men and woman) who willingly harass employees. Additionally, women bosses have a tendency to intimidate female employees. So what does 50% of women being harassed really mean?

I am reminded of a faulty survey that "proved" that the scores of the SAT exam discriminated against women because there were more smart men than smart women. It turned out to be a faulty survey as the number of dumb men outnumbered dumb women.

I have been a victim of a bully in the workplace, luckily for me I was not committed to the company I was working for and was only on a short-term contract and was pretty glad to have left when it ended.

Like you, I left. Though for me it was long-term.

I was not personally involved at the time but was only a bystander. About 35 years ago, a friend of mine lost his job as a technical draftsman because he was gay and that fact slipped out. (In essence, he did not deny it when asked.)

This reminds me of an incident I observed many years ago. An employee who happened to be female was given a computer programming task to complete by a certain date. She was a GS-12 programmer and claimed that she was not trained to do that job. (By the time you are a GS-12, you should be able to learn how to do a job by yourself.) She refused the training, asserting that it was below her pay-grade (if I remember correctly). Anyway, in the resulting adverse personnel action against her, she unbelievably won. She must have had a dam-good lawyer.

 

[Tieval]

Although you cannot condone this sort of thing there are issues with the survey. The rules of the survey were that you had to agree to have your response published, 60% did not and therefore the figure is 20% (50% of 40%).

In the survey a single incident of somebody making a comment that was objected to was regarded as harassment, in UK law this would have to be a single extremely serious comment or repeated comments to qualify.

I really wish people would stop trying to portray everybody as monsters and deal with the serious issues. A wolf-whistle is portrayed in the same light as the grabbing of a breast, the grab should result in instant dismissal and probably criminal proceedings, the whistle should result in public dis-approval and peer education of the perpetrator.

 

[Alc]

I have been a victim of a bully in the workplace, luckily for me I was not committed to the company I was working for and was only on a short-term contract and was pretty glad to have left when it ended.

Years ago, the same thing happened to me. I had moved cities to start the job and my then girlfriend had quit her job to move with me. Naturally, I was keen to keep the position. One of the managers took a dislike to me - for what reason, I never found out - and used to take little 'shots' at me during team meetings, etc. Wrongly, put up with it as I didn't feel established enough to tell anyone. A colleague let me know that this manager was using me as a scapegoat for some work that had fallen behind schedule and I was given an 'informal warning' by a senior manager and told 'Maybe this company isn't for you'.

Very stressful for a couple of weeks, then the senior manager found out what had happened, a few colleagues were interviewed and spoke in my defense, and I got an apology. The weight off was incredible.

 

[prabha_friend]

My ex-boss is a gay. I exposed him, they fired me. Like in the movie 'spotlight'

 

[Frothingslosh]

They were right to do so. Your ex-boss' sexual orientation isn't anyone's business but his, and you're here acting like it's a crime. The fact is that in this case, you're the harasser, not the victim, despite the reversal in the normal power structure of the situation.

Also, your phrasing is quite telling about your mindset.

 

[scott-atkinson]

I think prabha friend account has been hacked, he is spewing out all kinds of nonsense...

 

[Frothingslosh]

That's possible. Mods could probably verify against his recorded IP addresses.

 

[prabha_friend]

They were right to do so. Your ex-boss' sexual orientation isn't anyone's business but his, and you're here acting like it's a crime. The fact is that in this case, you're the harasser, not the victim, despite the reversal in the normal power structure of the situation.

Also, your phrasing is quite telling about your mindset.

I did expose him only after he tried to touch my thing otherwise I usually don't care...

 

[Frothingslosh]

I did expose him only after he tried to touch my thing otherwise I usually don't care...

Either the prabha account was hacked, or you're...being less than honest. Earlier you said you 'exposed' him for being gay, now you've changed it to you exposing him assaulting you. (Which, by the way, is a common lie of gay-bashers, as most gay people, especially in a country as hostile to LGBT individuals as India, aren't stupid enough to do due to the inevitable repercussions.)

'A gay'
'touched my thing'
Assorted other random, ridiculous comments in other threads.

Yeah, I'm guessing Prabha's kid hacked his account.

 

[The_Doc_Man]

Prabha_friend,

The first issue that most straight people need to understand about gays is that if you tell them up front "I'm cool with your situation but it is not my situation - I'll respect you if you respect me" - after that point, no problem. If your ex-boss started to make a pass and you failed to immediately clarify your preferences, I have to say that the fault lies at least partly with you for your negligence.

New Orleans is very gay-friendly and I've NEVER ONCE had a problem once I made it clear that I'm straight but can live with the fact that someone else isn't. When I was younger, I had no problem in being with a group that included gays as long as it wasn't exclusive. Heck, when it came to picking up the ladies, the gay guys were less competition.

 

[Tieval]

It is a little worrying when he states that he exposed him and the Similar Threads section at the bottom of the page talks about opening buttons