On a more positive note... (1 Viewer)

[KenHigg]

If you woke up this morning
with more health than illness,
you are more blessed than the
million who won't survive the week.

If you have never experienced
the danger of battle,
the loneliness of imprisonment,
the agony of torture or
the pangs of starvation,
you are ahead of 20 million people
around the world.

If you attend a church meeting
without fear of harassment,
arrest, torture, or death,
you are more blessed than almost
three billion people in the world.

If you have food in your refrigerator,
clothes on your back, a roof over
your head and a place to sleep,
you are richer than 75% of this world.

If you have money in the bank,
in your wallet, and spare change
in a dish someplace, you are among
the top 8% of the world's wealthy.

If your parents are still married and alive,
you are very rare,
especially in the United States.

If you hold up your head with a smile
on your face and are truly thankful,
you are blessed because the majority can,
but most do not.

If you can hold someone's hand, hug them
or even touch them on the shoulder,
you are blessed because you can
offer God's healing touch.

If you can read this message,
you are more blessed than over
two billion people in the world
that cannot read anything at all.

You are so blessed in ways
you may never even know.

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Author unkown...

 

[Pauldohert]

Further good news - its Friday and time to go to the pub, and the football starts again tomorrow!

 

[KenHigg]

...And I be out of Col's hair as I'll be here -> Link, for a week of vacation!

 

[Rich]

...And I be out of Col's hair as I'll be here -> Link, for a week of vacation!

I wouldn't go there, the virtual tours don't work. Have you ever thought of holidaying instead, far less stressful?

 

[KenHigg]

Hum... The virtual stuff works here...

We don't holiday in the new world, we vacation

 

[Rich]

We don't holiday in the new world, we vacation

It's obvious that we're separated by a cultural divide so I thought I'd look up one or two differences between us



Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad.

Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad.

Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.

Brits: Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad.

***

Aussies: Believe you should look out for your mates.

Brits: Believe that you should look out for those people who belong to your club.

Americans: Believe that people should look out for & take care of themselves.

Canadians: Believe that that's the government's job.

***

Aussies: Are extremely patriotic to their beer.

Americans: Are flag-waving, anthem-singing, and obsessively patriotic to the point of blindness.

Canadians: Can't agree on the words to their anthem, when they can be bothered to sing them.

Brits: Do not sing at all but prefer a large brass band to perform the anthem.

***

Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box.

Canadians: Don't, but only because they can't get more American channels.

Brits: Pay a tax just so they can watch four channels.

Aussies: Export all their crappy programs, which no one there watches, to Britain, where everybody loves them.

***

Americans: Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball and basketball.

Brits: Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, soccer, and rugby.

Canadians: Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey and how they beat the Americans twice at baseball.

Aussies: Will jabber on incessantly about how they beat the Poms in every sport they play them in.

***

Americans: Spell words differently, but still call it "English."

Brits: Pronounce their words differently, but still call it "English."

Canadians: Spell like Brits, pronounce like Americans.

Aussies: Add "G'day," "mate" and a heavy accent to everything they say in an attempt to get laid.

***

Brits: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island.

Aussies: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island.

Americans: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas and liquor in a backwards country.

Canadians: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas and liquor in a backwards country.

***

Americans: Drink weak, urine-tasting beer.

Canadians: Drink strong, urine-tasting beer.

Brits: Drink warm, beery-tasting urine.

Aussies: Drink anything with alcohol in it.

***

Americans: Seem to think that poverty and failure are morally suspect.

Canadians: Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally suspect.

Brits: Seem to believe that wealth, poverty, success and failure are inherited things.

Aussies: Seem to think that none of this matters after several beers.

 

[john471]

Well, I'll be! I've never been so proud to be an Aussie !

Thanks Rich.

 

[Rich]

Well, I'll be! I've never been so proud to be an Aussie !

Thanks Rich.

This one's looking a bit dodgy at the minute
Will jabber on incessantly about how they beat the Poms in every sport they play them in.

 

[NJudson]

Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box.

Unfortunately I think I'm guilty of this a bit. I would venture to say the computer is the next generation idiot box. Combine my television and computer usage and its frightening. I'm surprised I get anything done when I'm at home.

 

[Vassago]

I never use my tv, unless it's to use my PC. I'm usually too busy doing work.

 

[fuzzygeek]

I work with a Brit, He added a few comments:



Cultural Differences



Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad. (...except in the US where they are taken for Brits anyway – see the last one in this section)

Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad. (...especially in the Middle East)

Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad. (...especially in the Middle East)

Brits: Can’t possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad. (Except here in the US where the native population seems to think that “Brits” have an Australian accent!!!?????**** Would you like to be told that you come from a penal colony half-way round the world!!) The difference between an Australian accent and an English accent is so apparent that it is rather like someone from New Mexico being called a native of Louisiana.

***

Aussies: Believe you should look out for your mates. (by joining the group that’s clubbing them to death)

Brits: Believe that you should look out for those people who belong to your club. (As in ‘Your club is very heavy’)

Americans: Believe that people should look out for & take care of themselves. (...with clubs of the above variety)

Canadians: Believe that that's the government's job. (...and they are absolutely right)

***

Aussies: Are extremely patriotic to their beer. (...after drinking a sufficient quantity of it)

Americans: Are flag-waving, anthem-singing, and obsessively patriotic to the point of blindness. (...,deafness, dumbness and a total lack of logic)

Canadians: Can't agree on the words to their anthem, when they can be bothered to sing them. (...normally after having mistaken Australian beer for their own)

Brits: Do not sing at all but prefer a large brass band to perform the anthem. (...accompanied by a vast impressive Welsh choir)

***

Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box. (...and lower the educational minimums to prove it)

Canadians: Don't, but only because they can't get more American channels.

Brits: Pay a tax just so they can watch four channels. (...two of which have no mind-numbingly assinine commercial spots)

Aussies: Export all their crappy programs, which no one there watches, to Britain, where everybody loves them.

***

Americans: Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball and basketball. (...while waiting for the Christmas meal to be put on the table)

Brits: Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, soccer, and rugby. (...and any other subject you care to bring up)

Canadians: Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey and how they beat the Americans twice at baseball. (...while waiting for the Christmas meal to be put on the table)

Aussies: Will jabber on incessantly about how they beat the Poms in every sport they play them in.

***

Americans: Spell words differently, but still call it "English." (They also like to position words at random in sentences and STILL call it “English”)

Brits: Pronounce their words differently, but still call it "English." (It REALLY IS English)

Canadians: Spell like Brits, pronounce like Americans. (...and thus have the worst of all worlds)

Aussies: Add "G'day," "mate" and a heavy accent to everything they say in an attempt to get morally compromised(cleaned up, rhymes with maid).
(...which doesn’t do any good in the US as they are considered Brits no matter what they say or how they say it)
***

Brits: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island.

Aussies: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island.

Americans: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas and liquor in a backwards country.

Canadians: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas and liquor in a backwards country.

***

Americans: Drink weak, urine-tasting beer. (You’re in.)

Canadians: Drink strong, urine-tasting beer. (YOU’RE IN!)

Brits: Drink warm, beery-tasting urine(couldn’t clean up). (...which has been officially inspected and approved to be served at the legally correct temperature and minimum alcohol content) (You are in.)

Aussies: Drink anything with alcohol in it. (You’re in, mate)

***

Americans: Seem to think that poverty and failure are morally suspect. (...except when they are personally implicated)

Canadians: Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally suspect. (...except when they are personally implicated)

Brits: Seem to believe that wealth, poverty, success and failure are inherited things. (You mean they aren’t ...)

Aussies: Seem to think that none of this matters after several beers. (...except when they are personally implicated)

 

[KenHigg]

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Paul Harvey Writes:

We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse. For my grandchildren, I'd like better.

I'd really like for them to know about hand me down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches. I really would.

I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated.

I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car.

And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen.

It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old dog put to sleep.

I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.

I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother/sister. And it's all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room,but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you let him.

When you want to see a movie and your little brother/sister wants to tag along, I hope you'll let him/her.

I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely.

On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom.

If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one.

I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books.

When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head.

I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a boy\girl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what ivory soap tastes like.

May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.

I don't care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don't like it. And if a friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he is not your friend..

I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandma/Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle.

May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays.

I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your neighbor's window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Hanukah/Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand.

These things I wish for you - tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness. To me, it's the only way to appreciate life.

Written with a pen. Sealed with a kiss. I'm here for you. And if I die before you do, I'll go to heaven and wait for you.

 

[ColinEssex]

What a load of sentimental, smarmy, sugary sweet, American apple pie tripe.

Christ, reading that first thing in the morning nearly made me throw up, luckily I've got a waste paper bin handy

"written with a pen, sealed with a kiss". . . . . . . . . .you gotta laugh - its a joke right?

yuk

Col

 

[Rich]

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I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother/sister. And it's all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room,but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you let him.


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That's incestuous and should be censored

 

[Rich]

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On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom.
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Why not help save the planet and let them walk?

 

[Rich]

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If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one.

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And if he was a responsible parent he'd also instruct you not to target defenceless animals, but use tin cans or man made targets

 

[Rich]

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and that you learn honesty by being cheated.

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That lesson won't take long under Bush

 

[Rich]

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I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.

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Nah, just join the army and get killed for something your Pres. believes in

 

[Rich]

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and wash the car.
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That should be a six ton gas guzzling multi pollution 4x4

 

[Rich]

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When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head.

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Move to Cuba instead, the literacy rate's higher there