School days (1 Viewer)

[Rich]

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fight after school.

1974 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best mates.

2009 - Police are called; Armed Response Unit arrives and arrest Johnny and Mark. Mobiles with video of fight confiscated! as evidence. They are charged with assault, ASBOs are taken out and both are suspended even though Johnny started it. Diversionary conferences and parent meetings conducted. Video shown on YouTube.


Scenario: Jeffrey won't sit still in class, disrupts other students.

1974 - Jeffrey is sent to the principal's office and given 6 of the best. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt cl! ass again.

2009 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. Counselled to death. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra funding because Jeffrey has a disability. Drops out of school.


Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbour's car and his Dad gives him the slipper.

1974 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.

2009 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. Psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mum has an affair with the psychologist. Psychologist gets a promotion.


Scenario: Mohammed fails high school English.

1974 - Mohammed retakes his exam, passes and goes to college..

2009 - Mohammed's cause is taken up by local human rights group. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that making English a requirement for graduation is racist.. Civil Liberties Association files class action lawsuit against state school system and his English teacher. Eng! lish is banned from core curriculum. Mohammed is given his qualification anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.


Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers, puts them in a model plane and blows up an anthill.

1974 - Ants die.

2009 - MI5 and police are called and Johnny is charged with perpetrating acts of terrorism. Teams investigate parents, siblings are removed from the home, computers are confiscated, and Johnny's dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.


Scenario: Mark falls during break and scrapes his knee. His teacher, Mary, finds him crying, and gives him a hug to comfort him.

1974 - Johnny soon feels better and goes back to playing.

2009 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces three years in prison. Johnny undergoes five years of therapy. Becomes gay.

 

[Fifty2One]

LOL I haven't seen that one since 2007... thanks for the memories.
You should have pasted it to the Best Worst Jokes thread here http://www.access-programmers.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=53847 and not in Politics & Current Events.
Maybe someone can move it to that thread.

 

[Rich]

LOL I haven't seen that one since 2007... thanks for the memories.
You should have pasted it to the Best Worst Jokes thread here http://www.access-programmers.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=53847 and not in Politics & Current Events.
Maybe someone can move it to that thread.

It's not a joke and is thus posted in the correct section

 

[Fifty2One]

Sorry, I did not mean to upset you, it was a joke in January 2007 http://www.jumbojoke.com/zero_tolerance_then_and_now.html.

It's not a joke and is thus posted in the correct section

 

[Thales750]

It's not a joke and is thus posted in the correct section

Rich, you are indeed, my hero.

Merry Christmas Brother.

 

[dan-cat]

Make everything seem 10x worse by falsely portraying everything as perfect in the past. I hate this style of manipulative writing.

 

[Thales750]

Make everything seem 10x worse by falsely portraying everything as perfect in the past. I hate this style of manipulative writing.

Things weren't better in the past. but lack of discipline is certainly one of the biggest problems in the western world.

Children are being raised without it because a bunch of sniveling whiners blame their misery on their parents, instead of picking themselves up.

America; the nation on the white horse, set out to right all wrongs, has a 30% childhood obesity rate, and a 33% high school drop out rate.
Where indeed is 1974?

 

[Brianwarnock]

Make everything seem 10x worse by falsely portraying everything as perfect in the past. I hate this style of manipulative writing.

It was only perfect compared to today, everything is comparative.

Brian

 

[ASherbuck]

Yes, back in the day it was better to prescribe Opium as a cure to alcoholism because Opium addicts didn't come home and beat their family members.

Those were the days, indeed.

 

[Rabbie]

Scenario: Mark falls during break and scrapes his knee. His teacher, Mary, finds him crying, and gives him a hug to comfort him.

1974 - Johnny soon feels better and goes back to playing.

2009 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces three years in prison. Johnny undergoes five years of therapy. Becomes gay.

I am curious as to why Johnny was sent to Therapy when it was Mark that fell. Was it Johnny that made gay advances to Mark I think we should be told

 

[Fifty2One]

I am curious as to why Johnny was sent to Therapy when it was Mark that fell. Was it Johnny that made gay advances to Mark I think we should be told

You will not get an answer because in Rich's defective mind it is reality and not a joke that circulated many times over a number of years.

It's not a joke and is thus posted in the correct section

 

[dan-cat]

It was only perfect compared to today, everything is comparative.

Brian

It's fine to compare if you do it without distortion.

I'm not sure about the 70's but I knew classmates who received "six of the best" more than once in the 80's. In some cases it made the kid more angry not more sedate. I remember one kid was actually revered because of it.

The scenarios rely on both extremes to be true each and everytime to make it's point. It's a deliberate distortion of past and present reality which many swallow as factual. The technique is called card-stacking.

 

[Rich]

You will not get an answer because in Rich's defective mind it is reality and not a joke that circulated many times over a number of years.

If it's a joke dork, which parts of it do you regard as being funny?

 

[Fifty2One]

Let me see it is just getting better all the time. It is super funny you getting your nickers in a twist. Especially the 'dork' term, that is a very classy and mature touch for someone who sees himself as a skilled debater.
The the two year delay in your posting your new found commentary is almost as funny as the time delay in you thinking of replys. The mistakes in grammar that you didnt F7 before posting it here is just way over the top. You also not looking at the other mistakes within the text is almost too much to bare.
Would you like me to go on?

 

[Rich]

Let me see it is just getting better all the time. It is super funny you getting your nickers in a twist. Especially the 'dork' term, that is a very classy and mature touch for someone who sees himself as a skilled debater.
The the two year delay in your posting your new found commentary is almost as funny as the time delay in you thinking of replys. The mistakes in grammar that you didnt F7 before posting it here is just way over the top. You also not looking at the other mistakes within the text is almost too much to bare.
Would you like me to go on?

I'm still waiting to see what's funny about the original post

 

[Rabbie]

I'm still waiting to see what's funny about the original post

We don't all have the same sense of humour. Some people will think an item is uproariously funny, others may find it mildly amusing and some others wil not find it funny at all.

I have found there is no point in trying to explain a joke to people who have already decided it isn't funny.

 

[Rich]

I have found there is no point in trying to explain a joke to people who have already decided it isn't funny.

That's not like you Rabbie especially when I'm always open to persuasion

 

[Rich]

Let me see it is just getting better all the time. It is super funny you getting your nickers in a twist. The the two year delay in your posting your new found commentary is almost as funny as the time delay in you thinking of replys. The mistakes in grammar that you didnt F7 before posting it here is just way over the top. You also not looking at the other mistakes within the text is almost too much to bare.
Would you like me to go on?

What a pity you didn't test f7 on your reply before posting it

 

[ASherbuck]

I'm still waiting to see what's funny about the original post

The humor comes to me from the realization that there are people who really do only put enough thought into life to take this chain letter as a definition of reality.

It makes me think of someone living in a trailer with a huge satellite dish on top of it - causing it to lean to one side, sitting inside with a tin foil helmet polishing his shotgun because the CIA brain wave reading device is going to give away his secret location to the *insert xenophobic term* infiltrators in the American government.


But maybe I'm the one with an over active imagination.

 

[Thales750]

That's not like you Rabbie especially when I'm always open to persuasion

Now that, is funny.