The Fun Thread

[ConnorGiles]

Hey Guys,

Just thought I'd make a thread in which people could have fun in expressing ideas or just subjects (Jokes, Experiences etc...) in which make you laugh

Just the other month I came across a thread on here about banning boxing - which The_Doc_Man suddenly turned to the subject of turning convicted criminals into gladiators Here it is :

Instead of boxing, let's take convicted felons charged with the most heinous crimes like premeditated murder and murder committed during child ra** and murder commited by terrorism. Put them in a large arena. They get blade weapons only. The more heinous the crime, the smaller the blade. Televise the event on pay-per-view. The rules? Survivor lives another day, and even gets first-aid for any cuts. That we, we take care of the death penalty and televised violence for the masses at the same time. If they survive 10 such bouts? For their 11th bout give them a pen knife and the other guy gets a machete.

Although it may not have been said in jest, I found this quite funny.

Anything you guys want to share?

 

[Frothingslosh]

"How about a magic trick? I'm gonna make this pencil disappear."

 

[ConnorGiles]

The Joker, Well Played

 

[Frothingslosh]

Another one, from a book, of all places.

The setting: Harry Dresden, modern-day wizard, is trying to keep a vampire assassin from ripping his head off in a fight, while at the same time trying to stop a spell that kills people using Rube-Goldburg-esque strokes of bad luck. He had just used a quick spell to push the vampire back away from him, and this happened:

There was a sound of impact, a raspy, dry scream, and the vampire went down hard. It lay on the ground like a butterfly pinned to a card, arms and legs thrashing uselessly. Its chest and collarbone had been crushed. By an entire frozen turkey. A twenty-pounder. The plucked bird must have fallen from an airplane overhead, doubtlessly manipulated by the curse. By the time it got to the ground, the turkey had already reached its terminal velocity, and was still hard as a brick. The drumsticks poked up above the vampire's crushed chest, their ends wrapped in red tinfoil. The vampire gasped and writhed a little more. The timer popped out of the turkey. Everyone stopped to blink at that for a second. I mean, come on. Impaled by a guided frozen turkey missile. Even by the standards of the quasi-immortal creatures of the night, that ain't something you see twice. "For my next trick," I panted into the startled silence, "anvils."

I laughed for several minutes after reading that part.

 

[ColinEssex]

Anything you guys want to share?

No thanks

Col

 

[ConnorGiles]

No thanks

Col

Then Don't have a good day.

 

[ConnorGiles]

Another one, from a book, of all places.

The setting: Harry Dresden, modern-day wizard, is trying to keep a vampire assassin from ripping his head off in a fight, while at the same time trying to stop a spell that kills people using Rube-Goldburg-esque strokes of bad luck. He had just used a quick spell to push the vampire back away from him, and this happened:


I laughed for several minutes after reading that part.

Was the person that write this book under the influence

Impaled by a Giant Turkey Missile

 

[Frothingslosh]

I'm pretty sure Jim Butcher was more or less sober when he wrote that. The guy is just really creative.

 

[ConnorGiles]

You're telling me - Creative!

Sounded to me like someone describing a rather hilarious acid trip

 

[Frothingslosh]

Then you'd love the Foo Dog threatening the Leanansidhe at the Chichen Itza. One of the books also has Harry coming home to a Mexican stand-off between a co-worker who hates him, the Foo Dog, and his apprentice. EVERY SINGLE TIME HE LEAVES AND RETURNS. (Keep in mind that the Foo Dog looks more or less like a Tibetan Mastiff, but bigger. There's a reason he's nicknamed Dogosaurus Rex.)

Seriously, if modern fantasy sounds like it would appeal to you, I'd strongly recommend you read through the Dresden Files. They're really good.

 

[ConnorGiles]

I'm not a very big reader of books, Never have been.

Don't get me wrong, I read but only when something interests me or I have a given purpose to read the article/book.

I much prefer hearing stories told via mouth. I love hearing people over exaggerate stories ; "I F***ing swear it was |--------| Big" or "There was about five of them".

This is not sexist in any way but they are known around here as guy stories. (Due to the massive exaggeration to make themselves look good)

Usually accompanied with a woman behind them saying "No he didn't"