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At a doctor's convention a man and a woman meet. One thing leads to another, and after drinks and dinner, they end up in the man's room. The morning after as they're dressing, the man says "You must be a surgeon." "That's right!", she says. "How did you know?" "You were so thorough washing...

You can also talk to your network admins about building a script that would copy the FE to the user's desktop when they boot (my SysAdmin Fu is old, but I think they can apply it for a specific Active Directory group). Have a directory on a server somewhere named \MasterCopy, when you make a...

Re: beginner - easier to have big table & subdivide it or have couple table sharing I There's a reason why normalization is both science and art, and it's easy to get lost in the details. To do what you want in Access is largely doable (I can't address the attached/embedded RTF docs, it's...

Thank you, that might do the trick. At least it's some code that I can use as an example.

What I need is a list of all my tables, and then all of the queries/forms/reports dependent on them. I can do it manually, but I'd be more confident that I'm catching all of them if I can access the metadata and report directly and print it, and I have a feeling that's not possible. At least...

Grant Fritchey has a free ebook available at Redgate's site on how to understand execution plans. If you want something more complex in terms of data models, I have info on downloading the old Pubs or Northwind databases on my blog. And you can download Adventureworks from Microsoft, I think...

Re: beginner - easier to have big table & subdivide it or have couple table sharing I The basics of what you want to do are not particularly complicated, but it's easy to get lost in the details. I can create a basic structure based on your original post in 5 minutes and have a data entry form...

I get a similar error message that my computer can't restored linked network drives every time I boot it, once or twice a week. But the drive is always there when I need it. I'd consider writing a little utility that would run on startup with a slight delay that would do a DIR [x]:\ to 'wake...

I was playing golf last week and I got a hole in one! Then I birdied the windmill. In golf: if the ball goes right, it's a slice. If it goes left, it's a hook. If it goes straight, it's a miracle.

Bright and early one Saturday morning, Ted and Bob go golfing. They're just playing a short nine and expect to be home by lunch. Lunch time comes, and Ted's not home. His wife doesn't think much of it, figuring they stopped for lunch. The afternoon drags on, still no Ted. She figures maybe...

A termite walks in to a bar and asks "Is the bar tender here?"

An older Irishman walks in to a bar in New York City at opening time. Asks for two shots of whiskey in two glasses. He pays, drinks both, wishes the bartender a good day, and leaves. Comes in the next day at opening, same thing. Two shots, two glasses. The bartender asks him what's up. The...

I thought a fig newton was the force required to accelerate one kilogram of figs to one meter per second squared. But falling is the same as accelerating, so I guess that works. I just like the thought of a fig newton air gun. Also, time flies like an arrow -- fruit flies like a banana.

Naturally about ten minutes after I posted this, I found the problem and have fixed it. It was lurking in the code that looked up the name of the school in the report properties. Somehow I overlooked it pouring through a 100 page printout, imagine that. ;-) *sigh* Isn't that always the way...

I'm developing what is essentially a student information system. When I have a particular student edit form open, I have a button to open a report to print just this one student. The problem is that the report previously reference a different form for the Filter parameter, and I can't find...

(Sung to the Do-Re-Mi song from The Sound of Music) Dough - I use to buy my beer. Ray - the guy who sells me beer. Me - the guy who drinks my beer. Far - a long way to the bar! So - I'll have another beer! La - I'll have another beer! Tea - No thanks, I'm drinking beer! That brings us back to...

A man gets in to a taxi in New York City and tells the driver to take him to Grand Central Station. As they're driving along, the man thinks they passed Radio City Music Hall, so he taps the driver's shoulder to get his attention to ask him. The driver SCREAMS, the vehicle swerves, almost hits...

What do you call a banjo player wearing a suit? The defendant. What's the difference between a dead violinist in the road and a dead banjo player in the road? There's skid marks in front of the violinist. What's the difference between a violin and a viola? A viola burns longer.

A man is in a high-class hotel nursing a drink at the bar when an amazingly attractive woman walks up to him and gives him a sly look up and down, she is clearly of the 'working' class. She leans forward, revealing a delicious view, and whispers "For $200, I'll do anything you ask, but you have...

There are two books that I'd recommend for developing VBA programming skills: Microsoft Press: Access 2010 VBA Programming Inside Out by Andrew Couch and Wrox Press: Access 2010 Programmer's Reference by Teresa Hennig et al. They're not cheap, but they're pretty good. The Couch book has a...