mutual disrespect (1 Viewer)

[neuroman9999]

hey Richard? @The_Doc_Man , was this ban message given by you? I assume whoever wrote it was addressing something I said that targeted you, and the mod thought I was disrespecting you. I'm assuming this is your doing?

furthermore, if that was you, why would you give a reason like that when you said THIS to me a week earlier!?

I would tend to think that there would be no other smart ass on this board who is a mod that would say something like that for me to see other than you, for the purposes of showing me that you have a disdain for my talents. Correct?

 

[The_Doc_Man]

That was an automatic message because when we ban someone, we are allowed to insert a reason for the ban. Given the date it shows for the end of the ban, that first one might well have been me. The second one was not.

However, I didn't do it because I have a disdain for your talents. If I had meant for the ban to include the word "disdain" then it WOULD include the word. You were banished for showing disrespect after having been warned about doing that. And the warning stands.

 

[neuroman9999]

You were banished for showing disrespect

and who was the supposed recipient of that? I have no idea, nor did any of your guys tell me. furthermore, what are you doing up this late!? you are too old to be a night owl.

 

[The_Doc_Man]

We have a hurricane (named "Delta") passing through our area and the wind noises make it hard to sleep. The storm is actually to our west, but something you learn about tropical storms is that when the storm center is to the west, you get the worst weather (if in the northern hemisphere). That northeast quadrant is considered the "leading edge" of the storm. Since New Orleans is, indeed, north of the equator, that rule applies to us. I'm estimating 40-50 mph gusts outside and as a result, I'm also anticipating at least two or three garbage cans of branch debris. But I'll probably get to bed soon. The center of "Delta" is fast-moving and is clearing out. By tomorrow morning, we will be partly cloudy at worst and the winds will have died down.

 

[Vassago]

and who was the supposed recipient of that? I have no idea, nor did any of your guys tell me. furthermore, what are you doing up this late!? you are too old to be a night owl.

This is the kind of shit that is disrespectful. You can't be so dense that you don't get it.

 

[moke123]

You can't be so dense that you don't get it.

Wanna bet?

 

[neuroman9999]

This is the kind of shit that is disrespectful. You can't be so dense that you don't get it.

IT IS? Richard and I have been arguing publicly on this forums for years now. and he has NEVER banned me for making fun of his age or calling him ""grandpa"". So, why do you think this is disrepectful? in truth, it's really a playful argument in my eyes. and if I'm right, I think Richard enjoy comparing brain pans because I'm someone that has the ability to carry on the technological legacy that he and others of his age group are going to leave on this Earth....

 

[moke123]

Wanna bet?

@Vassago - I win!

 

[The_Doc_Man]

Adam, this culture is not one in which calling an elder "grandfather" is considered a sign of respect. More often, it is a sign of disrespect from a flippant younger generation who never learned principles of respect.

You are not my grandson. Three people in the world have the right to call me "grandpa" or variations thereof. None of them are on this forum.

I've mentioned this before, but this time I will be explicit. I would strongly prefer that you not call me grandpa or grandfather or other common aliases of that relationship.

True, we have had discussions over several years. But you flatter yourself to believe that I enjoyed those discussions. I was - and still am - trying to protect the forum from your toxic negativity. I have tried to remain civil throughout that time, but I must admit you have strained my ability to retain that civility more than once.

 

[neuroman9999]

I was - and still am - trying to protect the forum from your toxic negativity.

so what would you like me to do Richard? What changes would you like to see in me? statements like the following, when answering questions and helping others (if you ever let me do that again)?

=> end my sentences with exclamation points to show that the work is exciting.
=> make positive statements about their work and give them hope that they can do it.
=> encourage them with any words I can think of.
=> don't make negative comments about other pros on the forum.
=> don't criticize ms office products, even though I think they are seriously outdated, untrustworthy and low quality.

am I missing anything? If you missed it, this change in behavior from me would be exactly the reason why people would not want to read stuff like this because they can't handle it: https://www.access-programmers.co.u...orrectness-vs-playfulness.314211/post-1724606

 

[The_Doc_Man]

I have responded to your hyperlinked entry it its own thread. People can't handle your posts because of your egocentric style of posting. It leaves them shaking their heads sadly, mostly because you posted a wall of angry text that nobody would want to read past about the first three or four sentences.

As to this post,...

I don't give a rat's patootie about your punctuation. (Your first point.) There was a humorist named Don Marquis whose characters, Archy and Mehitabel, were featured in many articles over many years, starting in 1916. They did totally without capitalization and punctuation, but were still readable. I am not suggesting that you adopt the style, but the point is that there are ways to keep things readable. You don't seem to know them, as evidenced by your linked post.

I don't care if you choose to act as cheerleader for some posts but are silent on others. (Your 2nd & 3rd points.) I grant that sometimes you like something and sometimes you don't.

We all criticize MS Office to a certain degree but have to compare it to alternative integrated office product environments. The other alternatives don't have the traction or the inter-connectedness that Office has. (Your 5th point.)

But I will tell you that the way to show respect is to stop speaking ill of forum members. (Your 4th point.) When you talk about us, the issue is usually to play yourself up and to play us down. This is the central characteristic of a narcissist. Everything you say is about YOU, YOU, YOU. But of course, you will find some way to deny it or deflect it. True narcissistic behavior.

 

[neuroman9999]

When you talk about us, the issue is usually to play yourself up and to play us down.

do you honestly believe that crap!?

If you do, WHY do you think I would do that? to steal potential clients away from you (like I did to Colin, inadvertently)? to make myself look good? make myself look smart? drive traffic away from this site? piss Jon off?

do you realize that you have just revealed that you are one of MILLIONS of people in this country that literally think so much, you are seriously in danger of mistaking someone's actions as being manipulative when they are truly not.

you won't believe what I'm telling you, obviously, but I'll repeat it for the 50th damn time.....I'm not here to blow my own horn. what the hell do I get out of that!? do you think I'm looking for visibility? money perhaps? a girlfriend? someone to show my anger to? whatever the hell you're thinking, you're wrong b u d d y b o y.

You're turn....

 

[The_Doc_Man]

Your words and your actions (in the way & content you have previously posted) do not match.

I'm not here to blow my own horn. what the hell do I get out of that!?

For narcissists, you get ego-self-stroking out of it.

 

[Vassago]

It's really easy, young children can understand this instruction. Do not call people things that you personally have not been told by them to call them. I warned you about that when I banned you more than once before. Maybe it will stick now.

 

[The_Doc_Man]

I'm not here to blow my own horn. what the hell do I get out of that!?

The OTHER possibility (besides narcissim) is that you have a massive inferiority complex and are constantly seeking approval from the "experts." You are attempting to elicit praise but aren't finding that much coming your way.

To be honest, I can't tell exactly which one is in play here.

 

[neuroman9999]

you have a massive inferiority complex and are constantly seeking approval from the "experts."

I am seeking APPROVAL from experts?? Approval of WHAT!? I've told you many times Richard, that I don't need your help, nor do I need the help of other professionals here. How many technical questions have I asked here? If I remember, not many! That's because I know what the hell I'm doing, combined with the fact that almost everything about access is posted on the internet for free anyway.

and what about the inferiority complex? Why would you think that? inferiority to WHO? YOU? the other access pros here? if that's what you mean, why would I have one!? because you guys might be more experienced than me? If you are, do you think I give one $hit about that? I am currently paid to TEACH others about many other things that are currently being used in the technology world, not like access which is a 30 years-old outdated system! Do you think I have any desire to ask you guys questions anymore, when people are currently paying me to write Kotlin and Swift code for their mobile apps!? Those 2 languages are WAY beyond the simplicity of VBA. Furthermore, so are the current obsessions of the business world called react and angular. and of course, the truth is, that those 2 js-based languages mean absolutely nothing just like everything else. the only reason why they've garnered such attention and obsession is because that's what the corporate business leaders of the world have convinced the ignorant general public is ""currently cool and innovative"". and the general public has been sold hook-line-and-sinker on the idea, just like they were sold in the same manner for the iPhone back in 2007 when Steve Jobs introduced it in California.

 

[Vassago]

Then why are you here? Go troll some more advanced application forum.

 

[neuroman9999]

don't you think I have anything to offer, boss? If you don't let me back in to the technical areas, I guess you'll never know.

 

[moke123]

nor do I need the help of other professionals

ah, yes you do.

 

[The_Doc_Man]

don't you think I have anything to offer, boss?

Ah, but in your previous incarnation we DID see the code you had to offer. We remember you as vba_php as well as your current moniker. And some of us remember you as ajetrumpet. We've seen you at work in the tech forums. I must correct you, in that we have seen what you have to offer. I will be honest, Adam. If it weren't for all of your negativity towards an established forum style and tone, you would be far easier to tolerate. When you start ranting and raving about the evils of capitalism, all we can do is shake our heads sadly at your choices. When you drop a little bit of religion in your posts that have nothing to do with religion, we become disaffected. When you hijack threads to somehow make about YOU, we get totally disgusted.

To paraphrase a line from the Harry Potter series, taken from a scene where Albus Dumbledor is speaking to Harry: We are not defined by what we know. It is the choices we make that define us. You appear to have made some highly negative choices during your postings here. You claim it to be your way of having fun. You claim it to be playful. However, several of our members have been driven away by your playfulness. You even had to apologize to the forum as a whole (Aug 31, 2020) because you had to admit that your playful nature was not well accepted.

Even in that apology, you claimed it wasn't clear to you why you were singled out. And here you go again, pushing back against us by trying to justify your behavior. The problem with behavior that tries to re-draw a line in the sand is that it steps over the existing line sometimes.

Adam, you know that I have tried to be fair. When you posted questions in the Excel forum, questions that were appropriate and technical - I answered them with minimum secondary commentary. I've tried to set examples for you. Somehow, you don't get it. I've tried to explain our objections to you. But somehow, you don't get it. We've told you repeatedly that your "playful approach" comes across as disrespectful to others. You STILL don't get it. You claim to have love in your heart, but your disrespect comes through for all to see. Note that I am not alone in making these comments. This is not me waging a dispute with you. Many members on the forum disagree with your style.

You are your own worst enemy, Adam. In a post from Oct 2, 2020, you accuse us of not trusting you. Trust is EARNED. You haven't earned any.