LinkedIn vs Reality

[KitaYama]

 

[KitaYama]

A while back, a post on Reddit sparked a trend on social media about LinkedIn profiles.
For about a week, there were countless posts poking fun at how even the simplest tasks are sometimes exaggerated to sound like a giant leap in human history.
Here are some more (from Instagram):

• Successfully executed a facilities optimization task improving workplace illumination and operational efficiency. ( i changed a light bulb)
• I managed the algorithm and assisted the business owner in their data analysis tasks in order to curate better experiences for clients (I pressed like on this post)
• I am extremely thrilled to announce that I have achieved a supreme biological ability to activate my pulmonological organs to successfully infiltrate combustible non metal gaseous element oxygen from a homogenous mixture of gases with making the alveoli train hard on everyday basis and producing a gaseous byproduct surprisingly beneficial for all living organisms of plant kingdom. (I am breathing)

My personal observation on LinkedIn:
None of the truly successful people in my field are active on LinkedIn. This doesn't mean that all active members who write posts full of enthusiasm are fake. However, it is hard to ignore that LinkedIn has largely evolved into a platform for self-fascination and curated self-representation rather than genuine professional exchange.

 

[ColinEssex]

So what's new? This has been going on for decades, long before dopey social media and computers. A mate of mine is an environmental hygienist using equipment worth 10's of thousands of pounds. He drives a lorry that sweeps the roads.
We've all eloquently described our jobs for one reason or another. I did it in the 60's to impress the birds. Not telling lies, I call it using the English language to your advantage.
Col

 

[Cotswold]

Politicians do it all the time. One claimed for years they were a qualified solicitor and only stopped when he was threated with prosecution. Our illustrious Chancellor Rachel Joicey (nee Reeves) made wild and exaggerated claims on working at the Bank of England and Halifax Bank. Once claimed she was an economist at Halifax, whilst she was actually in complaints. She didn't mention she was investigated at Halifax for her use of expenses claims for some unknown reason.

Maybe the people writing these self aggrandisements are the same people involved in writing their organisation's news letters?

 

[The_Doc_Man]

I'm sure that at least some of those self-aggrandizers learned from government procurement positions.

Have you ever bought a rotational atmospheric destratifier capable of disrupting spontaneous environmental layering? (a.k.a. a fan)

Have you ever bought a hydraulically powered personal waste relocation device? (a.k.a. a flush toilet)

Have you ever bought an optical polarized luminosity attenuation shield optimized for bilateral operation? (a.k.a. a pair of sunglasses)

You don't even want to know what it takes to buy a machinist's hammer when talking about Navy procurement for maintenance equipment. In the military, toilets don't cost thousands of dollars. The money goes to the salaries of the mandated inspectors who verify that the toilet IS, in fact, a toilet. Though oddly enough, I don't recall that actually USING the toilet is one of the pass/fail tests.

 

[Cotswold]

Well Doc, I just wish I'd known their correct names because I've been searching around for years to buy one of each.
However, the optical polarized luminosity attenuation shield fortunately is available on Amazon

 

[The_Doc_Man]

Just for clarification: Regarding the atmospheric destratifier... when I worked on Bourbon Street as a musician, we could estimate the time by the level of the layer of cigar/cigarette smoke slowly descending from the ceiling, because the club didn't have fans or air conditioning. Invariably, that layer was at eye-level for the musicians on the stage by between 1:30 AM and 2:30 AM depending on relative humidity and whether there was a breeze coming in from the street. So yes, air DOES spontaneously form "levels".

BTW, good emoji, @Cotswold

 

[Isaac]

A while back, a post on Reddit sparked a trend on social media about LinkedIn profiles.
For about a week, there were countless posts poking fun at how even the simplest tasks are sometimes exaggerated to sound like a giant leap in human history.
Here are some more (from Instagram):

• Successfully executed a facilities optimization task improving workplace illumination and operational efficiency. ( i changed a light bulb)
• I managed the algorithm and assisted the business owner in their data analysis tasks in order to curate better experiences for clients (I pressed like on this post)
• I am extremely thrilled to announce that I have achieved a supreme biological ability to activate my pulmonological organs to successfully infiltrate combustible non metal gaseous element oxygen from a homogenous mixture of gases with making the alveoli train hard on everyday basis and producing a gaseous byproduct surprisingly beneficial for all living organisms of plant kingdom. (I am breathing)

My personal observation on LinkedIn:
None of the truly successful people in my field are active on LinkedIn. This doesn't mean that all active members who write posts full of enthusiasm are fake. However, it is hard to ignore that LinkedIn has largely evolved into a platform for self-fascination and curated self-representation rather than genuine professional exchange.

You have a talent for succinct and good writing. I agree with your post 100%. LInkedIn has turned into a cesspool of people whose taglines (i've thought this particular thing for a long time) are in many cases, outright ridiculous. The 'competition' of who can come up with the most creative taglines is just silly. And they're not necessarily all long, some are short and just as dumb.

ChatGPT had a lot of fun coming up with some:

• “Thought Leader in Thinking About Thoughts”
• “Driving Synergy Since Before It Was Cool”
• “Turning Coffee Into Strategic Outcomes”
• “Professional Overthinker | Amateur Visionary”
• “Executive-Level Email Sender”
• “Leveraging Leverage to Leverage More Leverage”

 

[AccessBlaster]

Domestic engineer - home maker

 

[Mark_]

Many years ago we gave one of the soldiers in my unit a citation for "Properly demonstrating the method of securing both their vehicle and keys in one location". Yes, we gave them a humorous award for "Locking their keys in their car" three times.