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[The_Doc_Man]

Parents (if there is two)

There are always two parents somewhere along the line. The incident in the halls of Congress was not a case of "no true values" but rather of highly conflicted values. But that is a quibble with one of your sly side comments.

You are absolutely right that if the parents can't stay together, the kid or kids have more severely limited opportunities to thrive during their learning years, thus impairing their earning years and thus making their later life the yearning years.

I agree as well with your comment that modern parents often dump the kids in schools and then expect the school staff to raise the kids. The only quibble I have with that line of thought is that parents with kids HAVE to think about earning money because kids ain't cheap. What's lacking is balance and a sense of responsibility. When you have kids, you sacrifice some of your dreams so that your kids can have a dream at all.

I saw first-hand, up close and personal, the side effects of a parent ignoring responsibility. My grandmother's personal failure as a parent forever affected my father's life. I am pleased to say that my personal success gave him a form of vindication that, for a while, I didn't understand. My father had to drop out of school in 8th grade because he became the breadwinner once my grandfather and great-grandparents died and my uncles fled her toxicity as quickly as they could. My father was a bitter old man - not mean, but sad because of the opportunities he missed when growing up. But he saw to it that I had those chances. Dad had learned to bottle up his emotions and became extremely stoic. I only saw him cry five times in our time together - and one of those times was when I graduated with my Ph.D. In his "golden" years, he was comfortable and knew that I had a good, respectable job and we made peace with each other once I understood why he had pushed so hard for me to get an education.

 

[ColinEssex]

parents with kids HAVE to think about earning money because kids ain't cheap.

Neither is the big mortgage and the fancy car or the top range iphone or the posh furniture etc etc. If you can't afford the children then don't have them, the children suffer in the long run. All because of the parents want to be one up on their neighbours. So the parents employ a housekeeper/ babysitter - who knows what they get up to in their free time.
Col

 

[The_Doc_Man]

If you can't afford the children then don't have them

You DO know that most birth-control devices are not 100% effective, don't you?

 

[ColinEssex]

You DO know that most birth-control devices are not 100% effective, don't you?

Of course. Women should learn to keep their knees together. Or if they can't afford a child then have a termination, then they're not lumbered with a child they can't afford. It's not that difficult.

 

[The_Doc_Man]

Fortunately or unfortunately, a "termination" has now become illegal in many states of the USA. As to "it's not that difficult" - statistics seem to indicate that it is more difficult than you imply.

 

[ColinEssex]

Fortunately or unfortunately, a "termination" has now become illegal in many states of the USA. As to "it's not that difficult" - statistics seem to indicate that it is more difficult than you imply.

Not in the UK.

 

[Isaac]

Neither is the big mortgage and the fancy car or the top range iphone or the posh furniture etc etc. If you can't afford the children then don't have them, the children suffer in the long run. All because of the parents want to be one up on their neighbours. So the parents employ a housekeeper/ babysitter - who knows what they get up to in their free time.
Col

Speaking of deciding not to have children if it's not appropriate, I have a pet peeve that I wonder if anyone else has noticed in this life.
People having kids when it's dangerous to have kids, and then (totally predictably) the kid comes out with Downs, Cerebral Palsy, etc. etc.
Here's what I mean. Woman has 2 miscarriages and a stillborn. Obviously something is desperately wrong. But she determinedly keeps on trying regardless. Finally a live one comes out with disabilities.
Another example: Woman has struggled with no success to have children for many years. Determined to make one happen, she keeps trying - into her forties. Finally one comes out, with disabilities.
I've seen this time and time again not just in reading news articles, hearing testimonies, but people I personally knew.

PEOPLE: If it ain't working, don't force the issue, you're just going to end up with a disabled child and much suffering all 'round

 

[Isaac]

Of course. Women should learn to keep their knees together. Or if they can't afford a child then have a termination, then they're not lumbered with a child they can't afford. It's not that difficult.

A vasectomy is pretty much 100%. After you have the ones you can afford (for us that was 2 - perfect), I got a vasectomy. Done deal. Never have to worry about impregnating someone again. And that , I'll testify, was not difficult nor painful.