Very Urgent: Deadline very near, help, help, help

[stopher]

Hi All

Please, please help as I’ve got a really urgent project to complete. If I don’t get it finished I’ll be out in the cold. I’m really struggling for time myself so I hope people here can help. Here’s the rub:

I got a list of recipients (names & addresses) each requiring a list of items (we have all the lists currently on bits of paper). The number of addresses and hence the number of lists runs into the millions so I need a big database. Will Access be able to do this?

We have all the stock in our warehouse in stock ready to pick. We use to hand make the stuff but now we just buy it in. So at some point I’m going to need a buying schedule (future development).

Contrary to popular belief we the deliveries to the recipients are over several deliveries (not one). What I need is a database that allows me to produce a schedule of which go on which delivery (essentially I do this by postcode/zip code). I need the schedule so the pickers know how to assemble each load. Also there’s a claus in the contract that say we have to have a delivery schedule for the guy doing the deliveries (the same guy – my boss – does all the deliveries). His missus is funny, she keeps saying to him “Look out for the rain dear”. Thankfully we never have to deal with returns so no issues there.

I there also a way to monitor which picker picks what because in the past some of them have been a bit crap and they should give themselves a kick up the backside.

I also need to produce a run of labels so that I can stick a label on each item saying give the name of who the item is for. Is this possible? It’s now joke having to write them all by hand.

One more thing. Some of the delivery points have been known to leave gifts when the delivery is made. We use to just accept the gifts and say nothing about it but now we need to record this as the tax man says because of the sheer number of gifts then this becomes benefit in kind and has to be declared. Thankfully the company vehicle is except from tax (at least for now).

I can’t offer any money for this. We’re a kind of charity. My deadline is 4½ days and counting. I really hope yule all help with this because it’s really important and if it’s not done I’ll lose my job.

I haven’t got very far with this and I really haven’t got time to do it myself. If someone could send a sample database of how I should start, that would be great.

Chris Stapphamy

 

[DJkarl]

The number of addresses and hence the number of lists runs into the millions so I need a big database. Will Access be able to do this?

So you have a deadline looming and you don't even know if Access is your developement platform yet? Most of the experts here don't mind helping you through a tough spot in your code or design, but you need to show some initiative.

I can’t offer any money for this. We’re a kind of charity. My deadline is 4½ days and counting. I really hope yule all help with this because it’s really important and if it’s not done I’ll lose my job.

Are you a volunteer or an employee? If you want someone to do this for you then pay them out of your pocket as they are essentially doing your job for you.

Ok I missed the joke on the first read, thanks pbaldy

 

[pbaldy]

I was going to bag on you until I caught the joke. Good one!

 

[neileg]

Never mind the database development, think about the hardware. The server will need a lot of temperature stabilisation - it's cold at the North Pole this time of year, plus you'll need a rugged handheld that be operated with furry gloves on for data capture on the delivery runs. You'll not get full WiFi coverage so yule have to use GSM for connectivity. Now Access isn't very happy with a connection that drops out so you might have to go for a full web based application.

Perhaps you should forget about Access and develop the application in XMASML.

 

[Pauldohert]

I don;t beleive a word of it. (unfortunately)

 

[rainman89]

ill help, but youll have to fill a list of wants/demands i have first.....

 

[CraigDolphin]

Oh crud...I missed it too.

ya got me....very funny

 

[MStCyr]

Hello

Maybe if you produced some kind of specs. we might be tempted to help ... so, what have you done so far?

The best of luck for the next 4 1/2 days

Maurice

 

[rainman89]

Hello

Maybe if you produced some kind of specs. we might be tempted to help ... so, what have you done so far?

The best of luck for the next 4 1/2 days

Maurice

 

[pbaldy]

Maurice, one of the specs is a height restriction. Are you really short? If not, you can't help anyway.

 

[boblarson]

Pretty funny but I'm wondering if Chris needs more work since it is obvious he has too much time on his hands

Actually, very creative "story" Chris! And Merry Christmas to you! That WAS a pretty good one. You totally sucked a few in.

 

[Rich]

Looks like you're gonna be slayed in just a few days

 

[Janjang]

Hi All


I can’t offer any money for this. We’re a kind of charity. My deadline is 4½ days and counting. I really hope yule all help with this because it’s really important and if it’s not done I’ll lose my job.



Chris Stapphamy

huhu... how come in charity u will lose job ?!!

 

[Ron_dK]

Hi All

Please, please help as I’ve got a really urgent project to complete. If I don’t get it finished I’ll be out in the cold.

You know I have this friend of mine living in Narvik Norway, Pretty cold there right now, but he's using the Northwind Dbase ( shipped with Access) as an example, which solved all of the problems you'd described.
Oh and yes, eat lots of spagetti to ensure sufficient metabolism.

 

[stopher]

huhu... how come in charity u will lose job ?!!

Yes, charity workers can also get "sacked" if they don't meet the standards required by their employers (at least in the UK & North Pole). Many charity workers are employed and paid by charities.

Chris

 

[stopher]

Hi All

I'm pleased to say that the database is operational and all deliveries will be made on time . Thanks for everyones inspired and very amusing input.

For anyone who didn't quite get there, the clues (aside from the undertone) are highlighted below:

Hi All

Please, please help as I’ve got a really urgent project to complete. If I don’t get it finished I’ll be out in the cold. I’m really struggling for time myself so I hope people here can help. Here’s the rub:

I got a list of recipients (names & addresses) each requiring a list of items (we have all the lists currently on bits of paper). The number of addresses and hence the number of lists runs into the millions so I need a big database. Will Access be able to do this?

We have all the stock in our warehouse in stock ready to pick. We use to hand make the stuff but now we just buy it in. So at some point I’m going to need a buying schedule (future development).

Contrary to popular belief we the deliveries to the recipients are over several deliveries (not one). What I need is a database that allows me to produce a schedule of which go on which delivery (essentially I do this by postcode/zip code). I need the schedule so the pickers know how to assemble each load. Also there’s a claus in the contract that say we have to have a delivery schedule for the guy doing the deliveries (the same guy – my boss – does all the deliveries). His missus is funny, she keeps saying to him “Look out for the rain dear (sp )”. Thankfully we never have to deal with returns so no issues there.

I there also a way to monitor which picker picks what because in the past some of them have been a bit crap and they should give themselves a kick up the backside.

I also need to produce a run of labels so that I can stick a label on each item saying give the name of who the item is for. Is this possible? It’s now joke having to write them all by hand.

One more thing. Some of the delivery points have been known to leave gifts when the delivery is made. We use to just accept the gifts and say nothing about it but now we need to record this as the tax man says because of the sheer number of gifts then this becomes benefit in kind and has to be declared. Thankfully the company vehicle is except from tax (at least for now).

I can’t offer any money for this. We’re a kind of charity. My deadline is 4½ days and counting. I really hope yule all help with this because it’s really important and if it’s not done I’ll lose my job.

I haven’t got very far with this and I really haven’t got time to do it myself. If someone could send a sample database of how I should start, that would be great.

Chris Stapphamy anagram: Happy Christmas

Sorry about the bad typing in places.

Have a great Christmas and best wishes to all.

Chris

 

[boblarson]

Merry Christmas Chris and thanks for the humor with this post. It was funny seeing the responses of those who didn't get the joke initially.