Essex Language for Beginners

[KalelGmoon]

I found this on a poetsday site, thought it was pretty funny. Sorry if I offend ya Col


Essex Language For Beginners

1. Excuse me sir
Oy yoooo kaaaant

2. Could you direct me to the town centre please?
Weeza faakin taaahn?

3. Oh my gosh, what is that over there?
Wu faakssat?

4. My boy/girlfriend has got a flash expensive car!
Me luvaz got un x r free I innit!

5. I don't like you much/you are probably my best friend!
Yu faakin kaaaant!

6. Can I please have one of your cigarettes, as I've run out?!
Gissaa faaaag?!

7. And the point you are trying to make is?
An' wot?

8. The cost of that is one pound!
Paand, maate!!!

9. Come over here and sit quietly, sweet child!
Oy, Kylee-Billee-Jo-Anisha-Bob, git ova ear an sidan yu leeeal
kaant, afor I faakin slapyas!

 

[GaryPanic]

Spot on
they also have another name
in'it

as thats what the say most of the time . .. in'it