Learn How to Fish (1 Viewer)

Uncle Gizmo

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Recently I was reminded of this saying:- “give a man a fish you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.”

The problem is, some people just want the fish! Not only is it a bad thing to do, giving a person a fish, it also encourages them to come back for more! Eventually all of those fish in the bottom of your boat are going to be given away.

Please don't give anyone a fish, they just keep coming back for more and more and more, with no intention of learning how to fish, why should they? You are fishing for them!

shutterstock_image.jpg
 

NauticalGent

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Ah Tony,

You touch upon a very important issue for me. While growing up I have heard over and over from parents, including mine, how they try to "give me everything their parents couldn't give them".

And although I am fairly certain I didn't say that to my daughters, I certainly lived it. We do it out of love and we assure ourselves it is the right thing to do...and then we shake our heads and lament over how they cannot provide for themselves, use us as ATM's, have an alarming lack of accountability and INSANE sense of entitlement.

There is a moral hazard for providing without instilling an environment for earning it. I'll be the first to say that there comes a time when they need to understand they need to stand on their own, but why would they do it on their own if we are providing it to them? It is that transition that is the most difficult and sometimes the best thing we can do for them is to deny them.
 

NauticalGent

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...and....

I am repeating the cycle with my granddaughter! I spoil her ROTTEN and I take comfort in the knowledge that it is my daughter and that half-wit she married who will bear that burden!
 

kevlray

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We are raising two of our grandchildren (long story). Anyhow, hopefully we can teach them enough life skills to excel in this world.
 

The_Doc_Man

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I was lucky in that my parents provided me the means of making money as a musician. Mom also made money as a music teacher for a music store and she LOVED working with kids.

The transition for me, though, was a nasty one. When Dad died, I was forced to become my mother's caregiver at home until I finally got a doctor to tell me what was actually going on - and that was the first time I learned about Alzheimer's Disease. Back then, that name wasn't commonly used because nobody had yet done many studies that detected the amyloid plaque that is though to be the culprit. I had to learn responsibility FAST. It wasn't easy to suddenly be responsible for the life and well-being of another person. "Ton of bricks" doesn't adequately describe the impact of that transition.

We have tried to be sensible about our grandkids, but there were times when we really did spoil them a bit too much. Fortunately, we have mostly learned to back away and let the parents do their job. To be honest, the grandkids have turned into excellent young men despite the "spoiler" clauses in the grandparent's contract.

Love and respect are still viable things to offer to them now. Praise and support for their actions and decisions is as good a thing as we can still give them. And if THAT kind of spoiling is bad for them, then I don't want to be good.
 

NauticalGent

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And if THAT kind of spoiling is bad for them, then I don't want to be good.
Agreed. I am talking about toys, candy between meals, electronic babysitting (my personal peeve) and basically the default "yes" to whatever they request in the form of a demand!
 

Isaac

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Sometimes it's very hard to predict how kids will turn out, and hard to understand what led to it. My kids pretty much adopted my moral values, which is a good feeling of course, but the work & service ethic came out a bit different ... It's just really hard for me to understand sometimes.

Hard times teach hard work, I guess, and easy times ... well, they do the opposite for some people, while others still learn how to work hard regardless. It's very puzzling to me, and more a bit disappointing sometimes but I try to remind myself of all the (many) ways that things did turn out well rather than focus on the areas that disappoint me. Some days that's easier than others.

Right now I am just royally pi**ed off at the stupidity of my own investing psychology defects. I saw Dogecoin shooting up over night. For a while I resisted the urge. "Don't BUY when it's going UP, you dodo!" (I told myself). But after a while my idiocy got the best of me. When it was at .60 I experienced this thought/urge "OMG - maybe it's going to go up to a dollar and I'm losing out here", so I bought. Of course, the instant that I pressed 'buy', it started going down, and may never hit .60 again. I knew I shouldn't have done it, but did it anyway. I'm a dumb investor and it's smarting right now!

Not only that, but one of my Access databases which connects to Sharepoint Online doesn't play well with people inside Citrix, and I can't seem to get around it, so I might have to announce that all the sweet Microsoft Flow functionality, enabling automated notifications, gets the kibosh if you're a Citrix user. Plus I lost sleep watching cryptos explode and working myself up into the frenzy that ultimately led me to the dumbest decision of the month.

It's just a bad day so far!
 

Isaac

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@Uncle Gizmo
I'm sorry I hijacked your thread to unload my morning's frustration, I shouldn't have.

Back to the focus - you're right about the fish, and by the way, that's a great picture of a man who has been taught to fish and happy doing it!
 

NauticalGent

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the stupidity of my own investing psychology defects.
I have liquidated all my stock because I simply have NO faith in the worlds economy. Foolish decision? Time will tell...
 

Isaac

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I have liquidated all my stock because I simply have NO faith in the worlds economy. Foolish decision? Time will tell...
Well, hey - taking your profit at a safe time (i.e., at such time when it still exists!) - is always respectable.
Hard decisions.
 
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I have liquidated all my stock because I simply have NO faith in the worlds economy. Foolish decision? Time will tell...

that because corporate innovation is not innovation anymore. i once talk to someone at wal mart that said to me
i dont buy anything anymore because nothing is exciting anymore.

and yes, that true always. what is so exciting about corporate code written thhat does not produce anything but efficiency? that not exciting. that just feeds the world's fears. thats why it is being sold. so what?
 

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