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- Today, 13:24
- Jan 14, 2017
BTW your profile says you joined in Feb 2002. Whilst a long time ago, you'll need to wait till 2022 for your 20th anniversary.
Yes true, but in 2002 the site was hacked and all data prior to that date was deliberately deleted and unable to be restored, so despite joining in 1999, the date shows 2002.BTW your profile says you joined in Feb 2002. Whilst a long time ago, you'll need to wait till 2022 for your 20th anniversary.
I have never been "CollinEssex". I was DaveP because I was banned under my regular name. I have 4 usernames and 4 different IP addresses and email. It's useful because Americans like to ban me, so I can still log in. I use my other names periodically just to keep them active.You were originally CollinEssex then DaveP or something, now it's back to CollinEssex. In any case it's been a long circle jerk for all of us.
Yes Vass, I remember those days, good times, before the forums went downhill. Time and events can make one very bitter. I know I'm a pain - I'm sorry.You may have been on the forums for 20 years, but you didn't always have such a dark and dismal view on the world to share with us. I remember a different Col.
That will do it.I have never been "CollinEssex". I was DaveP because I was banned under my regular name. I have 4 usernames and 4 different IP addresses and email. It's useful because Americans like to ban me, so I can still log in. I use my other names periodically just to keep them active.
Anything else you want to know?
Actually, dropping all pretense in this case, I am sorry as well. I have lived through times that made me incredibly bitter. I understand how easy it is to allow yourself to become a bit of a pain in the toches. I also understand that it leaves you in a situation where it is hard to drag yourself out of that bitterness. I am no longer where you are but I remember times when I was neck-deep in self-hatred, self-pity, and a desire for the world to just go away. I wish you luck in dragging yourself out of the bottom of that well.ColinEssex said:Time and events can make one very bitter. I know I'm a pain - I'm sorry.
Thanks John, let's hope so.For what’s it worth Colin, I don’t think anyone hates you, I know I don’t. There are better days to come...
Oh, my trans-Atlantic friend, I am there with you. Every day I faced that same self-doubt and felt that same guilt that I wasn't doing enough. But in hindsight (usually 20-20), I realized that I was not a trained gerontologist or health-care worker, I was a desk jockey who took care of computers. The trick for me was to first realize that it was a matter of training that I didn't have and further, didn't have the time to get. Follow that with the issue having only so many hours in the day and having these little creature needs like sleep and food and a working toilet and the occasional bath. Plus that pesky requirement of having a job to be able to obtain the other things.ColinEssex said:My biggest hurdle to overcome, is guilt. Could I have been a better carer? I gave 24hrs a day to caring for Mary, but I still analyse what I did as a carer, am I a failure? No I don't think so, I did my very best.
WHAT?????So...don’t even THINK about developing a kinder-gentler version of yourself..