When she was diagnosed, Christine had told me she would understand if I wanted to leave. I told her she had promised to be together in sickness and health and I wasn't letting her off that vow.
BTW One in seven women diagnosed with breast cancer experience a marriage breakdown. I wondered at a man who would do that then realised there would also be some women who decided that they were better off without the man they could no longer stand anyway.
I came down from orbit on Saturday and the reentry was incandescent. I listen to P!ink's song Try, especially the line, Just because you've burned Doesn't mean you're gonna die. Funny thing how a breakup song can fit my circumstances too but I guess it is a bit like a breakup.
While I understand how painful it can be to lose a parent, especially to an untimely death, the loss of an intimate partner can take one to some very strange places mentally. I have an affirmation about letting go of the idea there is a good or bad way to get through this and just focus 100% on survival.
I've had people say bizarre things like "You'll find someone nice to have coffee with" and "Well at least you aren't young any more.", as though passion and intimacy are no longer relevant at my age. It feels like someone telling me to enjoy riding the aeroplane on the merry-go-round after the Lear jet I've had for forty years crashed.
I've also had some really good experiences. Yesterday I found a little place in town that offered free mental health support. The lady was a wonderful listener.
