The Silly Links Thread (1 Viewer)

Rusty said:
erm, who is/was Bob Ross? :confused:

Oil painter (pictured above with afro) who graced millions and millions of American TV channels showing them how to paint wonderful landscapes in just over twenty minutes by using cobalt blue and beating the Devil out brushes.

Take care and God bless! :cool:
 
SJ McAbney said:
Take care and God bless! :cool:
Thanks mate, I didn't know you cared (fx: sniffle)
icon_smile_blush.gif
 
SJ McAbney said:
Oil painter (pictured above with afro) who graced millions and millions of American TV channels showing them how to paint wonderful landscapes in just over twenty minutes by using cobalt blue and beating the Devil out brushes.

I caught this a couple of months ago here in the UK on Discovery Home and Leisure - Joy of Painting, I think it was called.

9am on Sky 133 or 134 I think. Don't know if they still show it. But I was in awe of the man - unbeleiveable what he could do with a few different colours.

I'd not heard he'd passed on however...

Ad
 
Whenever I could, I'd watch The Joy Of Painting on PBS on weekday afternoons. The guy spoke in such a quiet, soothing voice, painted "happy little trees," but then beat the hell out of his brushes. He never made mistakes, they were always "happy accidents." It was quite therapeutic. :)

He died back in 1995 of cancer, I believe.
 
So I'm a little out of date. :rolleyes:

I was on www.b3ta.com and they had a competition to get out Photoshop and make a tribute to him because he was dead. That's what triggered by curiosity.
 
Not a link, but:

Steven Wright once said: "I woke up one morning and all of my
stuff had been stolen... and replaced by exact duplicates." His mind sees
things differently than many do, to our amusement. Here are some more of
his gems:

1- I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

2- Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.

3- Half the people you know are below average.

4- 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5- 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

6- A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good

7- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

8- If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.

9- All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

10- The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the
cheese.

11- I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

12- OK, so what's the speed of dark?

13- How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

14- If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously
overlooked something.

15- Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

16- When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

17- Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy

18- Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.

19- I intend to live forever -- so far, so good.

20- If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

21- Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

22- What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

23- My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made
your horn louder."

24- Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

25- If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you
tried.

26- A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

27- Experience is something you don't get until just after you need
it.

28- The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the
bread.

29- To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many
is research.

30- The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

31- The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch
up.

32- The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to
be on it
 
Hey, I actually had to look up when he passed away. I knew he had, but wasn't sure how long ago.

But thanks for mentioning him -- before you said anything, I had almost completely forgot about the joy of painting! :D
 
He's pretty fast. Wonder if he ever get's out of sync...
 
Idjit said:
Errr, must be a guy thing.

And then today I get a lady sending me this:
HOW TO POOP AT WORK

We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brewing down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work.

CROP DUSTING:
When farting, you walk briskly around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn't know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your pants.

FLY BY:
The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.

ESCAPEE:
A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK:
When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH:
The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poop hits the water. This reduces the amount of air time t he poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.

WALK OF SHAME:
Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.

OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER:
A colleague who poops at work and is dern proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under his or her arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.

THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (P.F.N)
A group of co-workers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The Closet Poopers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.

SAFE HAVENS:
A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.

TURD BURGLAR:
Someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poop at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

CAMO-COUGH:
A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.

ASTAIRE:
A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.

WATERMELON:
A poop that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH
 
Idjit said:
Errr, must be a guy thing.


Well, I suppose it's not exactly the kinda thing a girl would pickup on in finishing school, but I've known quite a few girls over the years who aren't afraid to drop a load and then give a play by play account of the size, shape, smell etc of the whole experience. Call me crazy but I think it's funny to talk about that kinda stuff. A lot of people would probably think I'm an idiot, but I think it's funny as hell to be in a public restroom and hear some poor soul in a stall blowing out an O-ring. I'll be 80 years old and still think its funny. :p
 
NJudson said:
Well, I suppose it's not exactly the kinda thing a girl would pickup on in finishing school, but I've known quite a few girls over the years who aren't afraid to drop a load and then give a play by play account of the size, shape, smell etc of the whole experience. Call me crazy but I think it's funny to talk about that kinda stuff. A lot of people would probably think I'm an idiot, but I think it's funny as hell to be in a public restroom and hear some poor soul in a stall blowing out an O-ring. I'll be 80 years old and still think its funny. :p
Actually, I kinda do too. Never claimed to be a lady... ;)
 
Idjit said:
Actually, I kinda do too. Never claimed to be a lady... ;)

I guess it's ye old pirate nature comin out again, eh?
 
NJudson said:
Well, I suppose it's not exactly the kinda thing a girl would pickup on in finishing school, but I've known quite a few girls over the years who aren't afraid to drop a load and then give a play by play account of the size, shape, smell etc of the whole experience. Call me crazy but I think it's funny to talk about that kinda stuff. A lot of people would probably think I'm an idiot, but I think it's funny as hell to be in a public restroom and hear some poor soul in a stall blowing out an O-ring. I'll be 80 years old and still think its funny. :p

It's not surprising you vote Bush. :cool:
 
LaBelette said:
It's not surprising you vote Bush. :cool:


Actually, I was being a smart-ass with the whole "VOTE BUSH" thing under my name. I was curious how long it would take before someone would say something about that? :D I don't plan to vote for Bush but I can't say I'm all that excited about the alternative either. :(
 

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