Bob Larson 30,000 Posts (1 Viewer)

ColinEssex

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I confess I have never heard of that word used in that context.

Unlike some people here, I admit my failings.

Col
 

Dick7Access

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Not really. How on earth is it possible to call an obviously female person a "guy"?

Col
Very Simple, as different expressions mean different things to different people. “Guy” is a good example. The High School I grew up in the 50’s ( in the north) the expression “guys” meant a group of people. I know what the word means, (men) but this whole world is made up of expression, in every country in every language. The girls themselves would say ok guys lets beat the other team. When I moved to Florida and I address a group of woman as guys some were offended. Why again very simple. What they believed and understood is what they thought that the rest of us have to abide too. Very Shellfish attitude! They were not aware that when they use the expression “diddle squat” meant a whole different thing to me and would not even think of using it front of women. I had a tenant once that his wife was from the UK. The first time she use the expression “ I will knock you up at 7”, I almost fell of my chair. Now you have every right to leave the restaurant, but for your own mental health I recommended you ease up, and if you don’t want to that’s ok with me. My favorite "expression" is you can do anything you want as long as you don’t ask me to pay the bill.
 

ChrisO

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"hi guys what can I get you"

That sort of question might go down okay in some places but certainly not in all.

Since we don’t know where Col and his lunch partner were, how can we say what would be appropriate?

At the low end of the market we would probably not even get table service.

At the top end of the market, once seated, the waiter should not approach the table until gestured to do so. An exception could be to refresh glasses but the waiter should ask if the sir or madam requires the refresh before doing so. Another exception could be the delivery of the next course to the table. But then again, the next course should be delivered upon a request from the table not when the waiter thinks it appropriate.

The very seating of madam should be done by sir, not the waiter. The waiter should seat sir not madam. Madam is first and foremost a guest of sir not the waiter or the establishment. If the waiter seats madam then the waiter is depriving sir of the honour to seat madam.

Okay, it may be seen as sexist but that would be the etiquette in a top end commercial establishment where madam is a guest of sir. It is sexist to the point that it would probably not happen if sir was a guest of madam.

At the top end of non-commercial establishments, protocol would take precedence over etiquette and sir and madam should be conversant with the protocol specifically related to the occasion. (Bit of trivia here but Shirley Temple (yes that Shirley Temple but later known as Shirley Temple Black) was the first female chief of protocol for the USA.

An example of protocol taking precedence over etiquette would be the President of the USA not seating the Queen of England at a public function even if the Queen was a guest of the President. It may be done but it would appear as inappropriate.

But all of that is a long way from Penny at the “Cheese Factory”; "hi guys what can I get you"

Chris.
 

Dick7Access

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hi guys what can I get you" That sort of question might go down okay in some places but certainly not in all. Since we don’t know where Col and his lunch partner were, how can we say what would be appropriate
Point well taken:
My point, however is life’s to short to get upset over it.
 

ChrisO

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>>My point, however is life’s to short to get upset over it.<<

That may also be true but is life so short that we and others can’t learn and make appropriate adjustments for the prevailing conditions?

Part of the adjustment we make may also include notifying our feelings to the people concerned and not simply put up and shut up.

Life is not all a banquet and it is not all a ‘Cheese Factory’. What might be deemed as appropriate behaviour in one is not necessarily appropriate behaviour in the other.

But, if we simply and silently ignore it then we become part of the problem.

Chris.
 

Dick7Access

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>>My point, however is life’s to short to get upset over it.<<

That may also be true but is life so short that we and others can’t learn and make appropriate adjustments for the prevailing conditions?

Part of the adjustment we make may also include notifying our feelings to the people concerned and not simply put up and shut up.

Life is not all a banquet and it is not all a ‘Cheese Factory’. What might be deemed as appropriate behaviour in one is not necessarily appropriate behaviour in the other.

But, if we simply and silently ignore it then we become part of the problem.

Chris.

You make an excellent point:
The problem with most of us, or at least me, is knowing, when it is appropriate to speak up and when to shut up. Also on how we speak up is important. Case in point: My wife and I and an another couple entered a restaurant and were directed to a little tight table. My wife is in a wheel chair and it would have been difficult for her to maneuver into a spot. I ask the greeter if we could have that other table, and she said that section is closed, we can’t have people just sitting all over the place. With a smile on my face I said I understand, could you tell me if that restaurant across the street has any large tables available. By this time the manager is on the scene. Can you guess where we were seated? We can’t always change the world, but we can change how we handle it. Less I come off sounding (Expression) (Better than thou) there is probable more times that I wasn’t quite so diplomatic.
 

PNGBill

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Congratulations Bob.
Thanks for may of your 30,000 that was directed to my problems and trust the count continues with your great assistance!!:)
 

Ashfaque

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Congrats Bob.....thanks for your incredible contrubution you providing this forum members....

With kind regards,
Ashfaque
 

Janisjohan49

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I have found your form post and that is perfect for my needs. It contains wonderful and helpful posts. I have read most of them and got a lot from them. To me, you are doing the great. i am impressed from this post....
 

Jon

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I've just noticed that 3 days ago was Bob's 12th year anniversary on these forums. That makes him one of the real early members. :)
 

Isskint

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I've just noticed that 3 days ago was Bob's 12th year anniversary on these forums. That makes him one of the real early members. :)

Techno bable for O L D :D

Happy Anniversary Bob
 

boblarson

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Wow, is it 12 years already? Man time flies. Thanks again all.
 

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