Double Word Punnies

[Dick7Access]

RX had some great double word puns

Lets start a whole new tread just on Double word Punnies
I will bet there are lots we can come up with.

The first two letters in Pun is PU
-I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
-Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
-How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
-I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
-This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
-I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.
-I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
-They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
-PMS jokes aren’t funny. Period.
-We are going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there’s no pop quiz.
-Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?
-When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.
-Broken pencils are pointless.
-I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
-What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
-England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

 

[The_Doc_Man]

Hate to be a critic, but most of those are single-word puns. Some years ago the Reader's Digest chief editor, Bennett Cerf, published some puns including one that he thought was (at that time) the only known triple-word pun in the English language:

When Pa Cartwright passed away and left the Ponderosa ranch to his sons Adam, Hoss (Eric), and Joe, they decided to rename it and emphasize the cattle business. The new name was FOCUS - where the sons raise meat.






In case you didn't get that, focus = the place where the sun's rays meet.

 

[ColinEssex]

You can tell Dick didn't type that lot, no spelling errors and grammatically reasonable.

Still, some were quite a chuckle.

Col

 

[Brianwarnock]

You can tell Dick didn't type that lot, no spelling errors and grammatically reasonable.

Still, some were quite a chuckle.

Col

Do you always have to have a dig at someone or something, Dick did not claim that they were his so just enjoy them.

Brian

 

[ColinEssex]

Do you always have to have a dig at someone or something, Dick did not claim that they were his so just enjoy them.

Brian

Well yes actually, I used to do it to my teachers at school, I think that was where I learnt I could be a really annoying little tit.

Col

 

[Brianwarnock]

Well yes actually, I used to do it to my teachers at school, I think that was where I learnt I could be a really annoying little tit.

Col

And now you are an annoying old tit, which means being down South correct.

Brian

 

[ColinEssex]

Going back to the thread, I did enjoy them, I like one liners. There's a couple of comics that do it well.
Plus of course that brilliant English comic Bob Hope was a master.

Col

 

[Dick7Access]

Well yes actually, I used to do it to my teachers at school, I think that was where I learnt I could be a really annoying little tit.

Col

Glad to be of sives, ops service!

 

[Libre]

I am proud to say that I'm an accomplished punster from way back.
And the more complex the better, involving not just words but phrases.

And I like puns that I make up on the spur of the moment, and that fit the situation. If people don't immediatly even realize I'm making a pun, that's even better. That means it really fit the situation perfectly.
I know I've struck gold when I hear groaning minutes (or days) later.

A few of my favorites from the past:

In the first, I was talking to my friend John -
JOHN: I was in the market the other day and you know, if you buy a rack of ribs you can get 2 sides for a dollar.
(for our British friends, not sure what you call it but here a "side" means a side dish like cole slaw, potato salad, etc).
ME: well, that just goes to show you, John.
John: Goes to show me what?
ME: that there are 2 sides to every story.

In the next, I was talking with a coworker Meyer in his cubicle. The conversation was ending and we both got up to leave his cubicle.
Meyer: You going back to your cube?
ME: Yes.
Meyer: Can we walk this way? (pointing down the corridor) - I want to stop off and see Nick.
ME: Okay. Let's go this way! We'll take the see-Nick route!

In the next, I had had some blood drawn, and the nurse was going over the results.
Nurse: Your potassium level is a little low. You might think about taking a supplement.
Me: Where should I get it? K-Mart?

John took a minute or two before I started to hear some groaning.
The second elicited an immediate gaffaw.
The nurse just said "get it at any pharmacy" and never realized I was making a pun.

 

[jdraw]

A family - father, mother and young son Sheldon - have been travelling; stopping a hotels/motels during the vacation. The kid is fascinated with signing the registry on checking in. They get to the next hotel.
The kid is super anxious to do his thing. They enter the lobby and there is a large religious group of sisters at the counter. The kid runs up and grabs a pen.


The mother calls out, "Oh no, be respectful".


"Wait til the nun signs Shelly"

 

[Frothingslosh]

Libre, I think your third one is MUCH easier to grasp when written. Also, it will be missed by anyone who hasn't at least partially memorized the periodic table.

 

[Dick7Access]

I am proud to say that I'm an accomplished punster from way back.
And the more complex the better, involving not just words but phrases.

And I like puns that I make up on the spur of the moment, and that fit the situation. If people don't immediatly even realize I'm making a pun, that's even better. That means it really fit the situation perfectly.
I know I've struck gold when I hear groaning minutes (or days) later.

A few of my favorites from the past:

In the first, I was talking to my friend John -
JOHN: I was in the market the other day and you know, if you buy a rack of ribs you can get 2 sides for a dollar.
(for our British friends, not sure what you call it but here a "side" means a side dish like cole slaw, potato salad, etc).
ME: well, that just goes to show you, John.
John: Goes to show me what?
ME: that there are 2 sides to every story.

In the next, I was talking with a coworker Meyer in his cubicle. The conversation was ending and we both got up to leave his cubicle.
Meyer: You going back to your cube?
ME: Yes.
Meyer: Can we walk this way? (pointing down the corridor) - I want to stop off and see Nick.
ME: Okay. Let's go this way! We'll take the see-Nick route!

In the next, I had had some blood drawn, and the nurse was going over the results.
Nurse: Your potassium level is a little low. You might think about taking a supplement.
Me: Where should I get it? K-Mart?

John took a minute or two before I started to hear some groaning.
The second elicited an immediate gaffaw.
The nurse just said "get it at any pharmacy" and never realized I was making a pun.

You lost me om "K-Mart"

 

[Brianwarnock]

K is the chemical symbol for potassium

Brian

 

[spikepl]

Me (to my partying friend): "So, last night, were you chaste?"

Friend: "Depends on how you spell it"

 

[Brianwarnock]

Rze: Double Word Punnies

John took a minute or two before I started to hear some groaning.

I think that was a groan of pain

Brian

 

[Libre]

A pun that does not elicit a groan is a pun wasted. On the other hand, the more obscure the better - although people may not know you're goofing.
I do have what has been termed a "dry" sense of humor.

And yeah - K is Potassium. I crack myself up - still laughing at that one

 

[Brianwarnock]

A pun that does not elicit a groan is a pun wasted.

Yeah - K is Potassium. I crack myself up - still laughing at that one.

By that definition number 2 was wasted.

Brian

Ps for the record I enjoyed them.

 

[Frothingslosh]

I rather liked the K-Mart one.