I have been charecterized by many over the years, mostly not flattering but usually funny. Examples are ("I am" substituted for "He is" or "You are"):
...from the shallow end of the gene pool.
...slow, but I am rough.
I'm sure many more will come to me over the next few days. But now, I suppose, it is incumbent upon me to draft my own.
Here is one that is all encapsulating and currently true:
I am a good father and a happy man who knows his limitations and is no longer distressed by them.
Cheers,
Keith.