RexesOperator
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..in a large organization..when you recognize the pictures on the wall of more people who are retiring (and can't spell) than you know in the lunch room!
Sure signs of ageing
- Thread starter RexesOperator
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You know you're getting old when...
(Guys) A 40-year-old Madonna still looks like a kid to you
(all) The only thing you can sink your teeth into is a glass of water at night
(Guys) A pretty young thing flounces by in high heels and a miniskirt, with legs all the way up, and the first thing you notice that she has last year's model of notebook computer under her arm.
(All) You have become an expert in the surreptitious passing of gas in the office - as well as passing the blame for it.
(Guys... I hope) You realize that the only way to have an effective comb-over is to stop shaving your back.
(All) Someone uses that old line, "Memory is the second thing to go" and you can't remember the first. (By the way, don't ask me ... I can't remember either.)
(USA only) you remember when quarters weren't copper cores clad with zinc and pennies weren't copper-zinc alloys.
You remember drive-in theaters as a family treat.
You remember gasoline at less than $0.50 per gallon. (Myself, I recall when I was a kid, it was $0.18 per gallon.)
You remember that your new black-and-white TV was the latest, greatest thing on the block.
You remember cars that didn't have lever-operated flashing turn signals as standard equipment. (Our family's first car with a turn signal was a 58 Ford Fairlane 300.)
You remember cars with fins.
You remember when the only computers you ever saw filled up whole rooms, needed air conditioners the size of a Ford Fairlane 300, and they had LOTS of flashing lights on the front panels. Even if they WEREN'T movie props. (For me, the first real computer was an IBM 1620 mod I - with plenty of lights.)
(Guys) A 40-year-old Madonna still looks like a kid to you
(all) The only thing you can sink your teeth into is a glass of water at night
(Guys) A pretty young thing flounces by in high heels and a miniskirt, with legs all the way up, and the first thing you notice that she has last year's model of notebook computer under her arm.
(All) You have become an expert in the surreptitious passing of gas in the office - as well as passing the blame for it.
(Guys... I hope) You realize that the only way to have an effective comb-over is to stop shaving your back.
(All) Someone uses that old line, "Memory is the second thing to go" and you can't remember the first. (By the way, don't ask me ... I can't remember either.)
(USA only) you remember when quarters weren't copper cores clad with zinc and pennies weren't copper-zinc alloys.
You remember drive-in theaters as a family treat.
You remember gasoline at less than $0.50 per gallon. (Myself, I recall when I was a kid, it was $0.18 per gallon.)
You remember that your new black-and-white TV was the latest, greatest thing on the block.
You remember cars that didn't have lever-operated flashing turn signals as standard equipment. (Our family's first car with a turn signal was a 58 Ford Fairlane 300.)
You remember cars with fins.
You remember when the only computers you ever saw filled up whole rooms, needed air conditioners the size of a Ford Fairlane 300, and they had LOTS of flashing lights on the front panels. Even if they WEREN'T movie props. (For me, the first real computer was an IBM 1620 mod I - with plenty of lights.)
Ron_dK
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Lol
Here's some other sings that I could think of :
- you’re still a Beatle fan
- you realize that the topic of the discussion you were in , has changed three times since you’re last comment
- you don’t know the difference between ADSL, DSL and ABS
- you’re watching Dr.Zhivago or Lawrence of Arabia on VHS for the 203rd time.
- you have more than 10,000 post on a forum and you’re profile says you’re 21.
- the thing you most like about women is their absence.
Guess I will retire in a couple of years
Here's some other sings that I could think of :
- you’re still a Beatle fan
- you realize that the topic of the discussion you were in , has changed three times since you’re last comment
- you don’t know the difference between ADSL, DSL and ABS
- you’re watching Dr.Zhivago or Lawrence of Arabia on VHS for the 203rd time.
- you have more than 10,000 post on a forum and you’re profile says you’re 21.
- the thing you most like about women is their absence.
Guess I will retire in a couple of years
Brianwarnock
Retired
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I used to know lots of things that indicated ageing, but I can't remember them. 
Brian
Brian
R
Rich
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Who's Dr.Zhivago and what's VHS? 
Brianwarnock
Retired
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RexesOperator
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You go out to a retro music bar, and the music they're playing is 80s - wait a minute - you mean the Police are retro?
Anyone remember Beta? Edsels? And other great inventions?
Anyone remember Beta? Edsels? And other great inventions?
Bodisathva
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you listen to the "Oldies" station and they play the song that reminds you of the summer of your 16th year, driver's license, first car... wait but that would make me...
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Rich: I know you're joking, but I have to prove to myself I haven't lost all of my marbles...
Dr. Zhivago was a movie made from a novel by Borisk Pasternak. Starring (I think) Omar Sharif and a very young Julie Christie? It proved why Omar Sharif should have stuck to being a professional card player. Blockbuster budget, wasn't matched by blockbuster box office proceeds.
An Edsel was a model of Ford land-barge in the late 50's or early 60's, named after one of the Ford kids (of which there we many). It never caught on until they stopped making them, after which they became a collector's item. As I recall, they were actually pretty good cars, ahead of their time in many factors. TWO STEPS ahead of their time, and that threw people off badly.
VHS and BETA - two idea whose time has come and gone. BETA died because Sony BETAMax stayed proprietary. It had superior picture quality BUT - like Bill Gates - VHS offered open access to many producers of source material, so the market for VHS was huge and for BETA was small. Just like the early days of PC-DOS vs Apple and later, Windows vs. MAC/OS
Dr. Zhivago was a movie made from a novel by Borisk Pasternak. Starring (I think) Omar Sharif and a very young Julie Christie? It proved why Omar Sharif should have stuck to being a professional card player. Blockbuster budget, wasn't matched by blockbuster box office proceeds.
An Edsel was a model of Ford land-barge in the late 50's or early 60's, named after one of the Ford kids (of which there we many). It never caught on until they stopped making them, after which they became a collector's item. As I recall, they were actually pretty good cars, ahead of their time in many factors. TWO STEPS ahead of their time, and that threw people off badly.
VHS and BETA - two idea whose time has come and gone. BETA died because Sony BETAMax stayed proprietary. It had superior picture quality BUT - like Bill Gates - VHS offered open access to many producers of source material, so the market for VHS was huge and for BETA was small. Just like the early days of PC-DOS vs Apple and later, Windows vs. MAC/OS
Ron_dK
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R
Rich
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Jacob Mathai
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Retirement fun
Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.
Well, for example, the other day I went downtown to go to the newsstand for the Wall Street Journal so I could track my investments. I was only in there for about 5 minutes.
When I came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.
I said to him, "Come on, man, how about giving a retired person a break"?
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket.
I called him a "Nazi." He glared at me and wrote another ticket for having worn tires.
So I called him a "doughnut eating Gestapo”.
He finished second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.
Then he wrote a third ticket.
This went on for about 20 minutes.
The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
Personally, I didn't care..... I came downtown on the bus
The car that he was putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said:
"Hillary in '08."
I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired. It's important to my health.
Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.
Well, for example, the other day I went downtown to go to the newsstand for the Wall Street Journal so I could track my investments. I was only in there for about 5 minutes.
When I came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.
I said to him, "Come on, man, how about giving a retired person a break"?
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket.
I called him a "Nazi." He glared at me and wrote another ticket for having worn tires.
So I called him a "doughnut eating Gestapo”.
He finished second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.
Then he wrote a third ticket.
This went on for about 20 minutes.
The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
Personally, I didn't care..... I came downtown on the bus
The car that he was putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said:
"Hillary in '08."
I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired. It's important to my health.
Len Boorman
Back in gainfull employme
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Len,
Hillary was by Bill's side during entirely too many of the scandals in Arkansas that have never been fully explained. She knows where the bodies are buried, and at last count from the conspiracy theorists, that number exceeds 50. She was there and said nothing during the days when the Arkansas Development Board was a way to launder money from illicit sources. They got investigated but it all went silent when Bill's Bulls shut up a lot of people.
OK, every politician we've got is dirty SOME way. I just happen to not like her particular flavor of dirt. Oh, there is a sort of an exception to my all-inclusive statement. Big Al was too DUMB to accumulate dirt. He who once claimed to have invented the Internet was not SMART enough to get dirty enough to need to hide anything.
Hillary was by Bill's side during entirely too many of the scandals in Arkansas that have never been fully explained. She knows where the bodies are buried, and at last count from the conspiracy theorists, that number exceeds 50. She was there and said nothing during the days when the Arkansas Development Board was a way to launder money from illicit sources. They got investigated but it all went silent when Bill's Bulls shut up a lot of people.
OK, every politician we've got is dirty SOME way. I just happen to not like her particular flavor of dirt. Oh, there is a sort of an exception to my all-inclusive statement. Big Al was too DUMB to accumulate dirt. He who once claimed to have invented the Internet was not SMART enough to get dirty enough to need to hide anything.
Tay
likes garlic
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The Al gore quote about inventing the internet is an urban legend...http://www.snopes.com/quotes/internet.asp
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He claimed that he took the initiative in creating the internet, and the Snopes article CLEARLY supports me in that statement.
The internet existed in nascent form before Al was in Congress at a level of authority and influence to have any significant effect. His language was typical pol-speak designed to make people THINK he invented the internet or had anything much to do with it. A combination of techie curiosity and low-level market forces is responsible for today's Internet.
Vint Cerf is obviously an apologist for the Goremeister for giving him credit for anything - unless of course Vint wants Al's influence on another pet project.
DARPA invented the internet with help from students at MIT and many other universities. Hell, Big Al can't even SPELL TCP/IP.
The internet existed in nascent form before Al was in Congress at a level of authority and influence to have any significant effect. His language was typical pol-speak designed to make people THINK he invented the internet or had anything much to do with it. A combination of techie curiosity and low-level market forces is responsible for today's Internet.
Vint Cerf is obviously an apologist for the Goremeister for giving him credit for anything - unless of course Vint wants Al's influence on another pet project.
DARPA invented the internet with help from students at MIT and many other universities. Hell, Big Al can't even SPELL TCP/IP.
Jacob Mathai
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Found this joke on the internet
I've sure gotten old.
I've had 2 By-pass surgeries. A hip replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer, and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation, hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends.
But.....Thank God, I still have my Florida driver's license!
I've sure gotten old.
I've had 2 By-pass surgeries. A hip replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer, and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation, hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends.
But.....Thank God, I still have my Florida driver's license!
Jacob Mathai
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Remember When . .
REMEMBER WHEN . . .
A computer was something on TV
from a science fiction show of note
a window was something you hated to clean...
And ram was the cousin of a goat...
Meg was the name of my girlfriend
and gig was a job for the nights
now they all mean different things
and that really mega bytes
An application was for employment
a program was a TV show
a cursor used profanity
a keyboard was a piano
Memory was something that you lost with age
a cd was a bank account
and if you had a 3 ?" floppy
you hoped nobody found out
Compress was something you did to the garbage
not something you did to a file
and if you unzipped anything in public
you'd be in jail for a while
Log on was adding wood to the fire
hard drive was a long trip on the road
a mouse pad was where a mouse lived
and a backup happened to your commode
Cut you did with a pocket knife
paste you did with glue
a web was a spider's home
and a virus was the flu
I guess i'll stick to my pad and paper
and the memory in my head
I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash
but when it happens they wish they were dead.
REMEMBER WHEN . . .
A computer was something on TV
from a science fiction show of note
a window was something you hated to clean...
And ram was the cousin of a goat...
Meg was the name of my girlfriend
and gig was a job for the nights
now they all mean different things
and that really mega bytes
An application was for employment
a program was a TV show
a cursor used profanity
a keyboard was a piano
Memory was something that you lost with age
a cd was a bank account
and if you had a 3 ?" floppy
you hoped nobody found out
Compress was something you did to the garbage
not something you did to a file
and if you unzipped anything in public
you'd be in jail for a while
Log on was adding wood to the fire
hard drive was a long trip on the road
a mouse pad was where a mouse lived
and a backup happened to your commode
Cut you did with a pocket knife
paste you did with glue
a web was a spider's home
and a virus was the flu
I guess i'll stick to my pad and paper
and the memory in my head
I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash
but when it happens they wish they were dead.
Jacob Mathai
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The Senility Prayer
THE SENILITY PRAYER
God grant me the senility
to forget the people
I never liked anyway,
the good fortune
to run into the ones I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference.
THE SENILITY PRAYER
God grant me the senility
to forget the people
I never liked anyway,
the good fortune
to run into the ones I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference.
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