Single mom here raising two children.
I have no problem spanking my child on her bottom. That is why God made them smushy. I do not believe in beating a child. They do not learn the lesson you are trying to instill. They only learn fear.
A pop on the bottom is enough for my children to know mommie means business. That rarely happens becuause they don't push me to that point often. That is the final straw if they get a swat on the bottom.
I tend to put my 3 yr old in the corner for 3 min. (1 min for each year they are old)
My 8 year old, I make her go to bed early or take precious toys away from her.
To me discipline has become to lax, that is why there are so many parents afraid of their own children, and therefore they let run as they please.
Children in the states know that they can call DSS if a parent spanks then. That is why discipline has become so lax. We are afraid to punish our children for fear of the state government taking our children from us. The truly abused kids rarely call DSS. They are too afraid too, and therefore continue to suffer through the abuse. Therefore, they go after the parents who are properly disciplining their children. The kids get angry, lie on the parents and have their parent’s lives torn apart due to the child’s lies.
The first time my child threatens to calls DSS on me for swatting her bottom, I will dial the number for her, hand her the phone and let her talk to them. They will see she is in no way abused. If she lies and is put in foster home, she will then see how a REAL child is with REAL abuse.
Ultimately we are the ones who shape our children, and we need to stop being so afraid of them. Do you see children born in the 70's and under beating up their parents, running away, having kids at 12 and 12yrs old and doing half the crap the kids are doing now? No!! And why is that. Because we were made to behave!! Whether one parent worked or both, we were taught to behave and we knew the consenquence if we didn't.
This is a sore subject for me and I climb off my soapbox now, because I have seen it happen here in South Carolina. The kids are our future and to be blunt, I am somewhat scared of what the future holds if we do not put a stop to this now.
Other qualties in raising children is pretty much. Do as you want your child to do. If you are out drinking (not casual, but bing drinking), smoking, doing drugs etc. How can you expect them to NOT do the same thing. They do as they are taught, and your lifestyle is a learning experience for them.
Love, love, love and more love. Show your child you love them no matter what they have done. Let them know they can come to you with anything. Yes, there could be a consequence for their actions, but at least they knew it was ok to come to you with it. Instead of finding out later and the consequence be more serious.
If I can't say it enough. Love, Love, your time, your trust, and love. All key parts to help raise your child.