What's your best/worst joke? (17 Viewers)

[Cotswold]

I had some tradies in doing some work. After they'd gone there was a tap on the door.

That was the plumber's idea of a joke.

 

[Cotswold]

Electric bird is similar to the kangaroo video

 

[The_Doc_Man]

Electric bird is similar to the kangaroo video

I give him an 8.0 - good form but have to deduct 2 points for the landing.

 

[conception_native_0123]

have to deduct 2 points for the landing.

he'll have to settle for the bronze.

- Edward Nigma, Batman Forever

 

[The_Doc_Man]

As we say in the USA, it'll all come out in the wash.

(Though my wife swears that tomato sauce is an exception to that rule.)

 

[Cotswold]

The three words that men don't want to hear:........“Is that it?”

 

[AccessBlaster]

I am considering buying an electric car...
But, I don't have a current licence.

 

[Steve R.]

An airplane takes off and immediately crashes. An aggressive reporter rushes up to the airport manager and demands: "Why did you let that obviously unsafe plane take-off?"

Inspired by the song, Dirty Laundry.

 

[Cotswold]

Woody Harrelson joked about a supposed movie script, a clear metaphor for the "pandemic", that went:

“The biggest drug cartels in the world get together and buy up all the media and all the politicians and force all the people in the world to stay locked in their homes and they won't need to go to work but will get paid their full salary. They can only go out if they wear masks and take the cartel’s drugs — and keep taking them — over and over, for ever. Well that is except for staff at supermarket and fastfood outlets, whose staff are all naturally immune.

Anyway I threw the script away. I mean, who is gonna believe that crazy idea?”

 

[moke123]

 

[The_Doc_Man]

Good one, Uncle G.

Not only had Bobby read the teacher's assignment, but Mary suffered from ... member envy.

 

[NauticalGent]

 

[NauticalGent]

 

[conception_native_0123]

that's a good one. haven't seen one in a while. good job gent.

 

[NauticalGent]

 

[Cotswold]

Philippa is a qualified croupier and often works in an exclusive club where gamblers pay top money to play roulette all day and poker at night.

 

[KitaYama]

I'm not interested in religion, and I don't know why I had bookmarked this.
Before deleting the link, I thought someone may find it funny too.

 

[The_Doc_Man]

George Carlin was always ready to deflate any over-inflated egos and reputations. We miss you, George.

 

[conception_native_0123]

HOLY shit! LOL. always loved George too.

 

[Cotswold]