jsanders said:
So what are some of ya’lls ideas on raising kids to be well adjusted and respectful?
Like MrsGorrilla, my children are still young and so the jury is still out on my parenting skills. However, like her, I have been immensely gratified by the politeness shown by the children, with unforced 'Please' & 'Thank yous' etc. This is mostly down to passive modeling which is why we also strive to avoid cursing in front of them.
While my children are very young, we are trying to avoid spending time with children who have unpleasant dispositions, i.e. rude or tantrum prone, aggressive etc as we see this form of modeling being repeated by ours. Sometimes it is striking, as though there were professional impersonators. This is sometimes difficult as the children belong to friends, but your first responsibility is to your own.
Mistakes we see others making is one parent undermining the other. This seems fatal to any sense of boundaries or discipline in a child's life. Pull together, not apart.
A particular failing of my own father was inconsistency and an almost arbitrary regime of punishment - you could be punished for a sibling failing to carry out some chore or other and, similarly, you could go unpunished for fairly large omissions of duty. The result was a lottery where you did what you wanted and took the occasional, almost irrelevant, punishment. Having recognized this as an adult, I am trying to be far more rational and consistent in what is allowed and what will happen if the rules are broken.
Although there are very few rules in my house, as yet - ha!, it seems that firm & fair and consistent make for a happy household with very few of the tedious negotiations or arguments about something the child simply must do, such as go to bed now etc.
Finally, to get back to the happy side of parenting that this thread is about, I have to say, it was a complete surprise how much I am enjoying being a father. Late starter at 42, I wish I had done it years ago, although my life wasn't as settled in earlier times and I can see how it would have been much more stressful to have children in my twenties when your financial options are more restricted, at least mine were.
To close on a high note, my youngest picked up a couple of different phrases and concatenated them together. Now when I walk in the door after work the children look round, see me and all charge over for hugs and kisses screaming "Daddy, you're back to normal". It has been going on for about 3 weeks and I still laugh at it every day.
A couple of people said something about it also which would indicate that not many of the kids did that. 
Well holy freakin' cow. I can see nothing has changed. This was a sweet and enduring thread, and it has gone to hades and back...
