BBQ Rules

KenHigg

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We are about to enter the summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity, as it's the only type of cooking a 'real' man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved.

When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine...
(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

Here comes the important part:
(4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine....
(5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
(6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.

Important again:
(7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine....
(8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
(9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:
(10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN ;and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed 'her night off.' And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women....
 
No problems there. The woman is doing her job - that's what they're here for.

Hopefully they're looking after the kids as well - if they remember what they look like, being as the woman insists on 'independance' by giving the kid to a stranger whilst they go off to the office.

Anyway, they don't look on it (the BBQ stuff) as work, it's enjoyment to them.

Give the little woman a pat and say they've done well and they're happy enough.

Col
 
I want to be the one sitting in the lawn chair grilling the meat. The hubby can do all the prep and post work :D Except if I am the one grilling I usually end up doing the prep work, I can however get him to help with clean-up :rolleyes:
 
If guy is worried about all the prep, clean up, etc how are we supposed to focus on getting the grill marks in the correct place :p
 
If the wife does not come out soon enough to tell the guy that the meat is starting to burn, there are no grill marks just one big smudge.
 
If the wife does not come out soon enough to tell the guy that the meat is starting to burn, there are no grill marks just one big smudge.

That's a problem where discipline in the wife is required. :D
 
If the wife does not come out soon enough to tell the guy that the meat is starting to burn, there are no grill marks just one big smudge.


Then you can just have smudge burgers - :p
 
In the USA won't the man also be responsible for killing the animal to get the meat?

I'm led to believe that supermarkets and butchers don't exist in the south USA. People in Georgia don't seem to use them.

Col
 

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My Uncle or Father-in-laws ribs. Then burnt hot dogs - :p

What about you?
 
Oh yeah... My B-I-L does do a great steak on the grill... :)
 
Oh yeah love corn on the grill. My birthday is in July instead of going out to a restaurant, I request a rare porterhouse steak, shrimp ka-bobs, corn on the cob and a pitcher of margueritas.
 
Oh yeah love corn on the grill. My birthday is in July instead of going out to a restaurant, I request a rare porterhouse steak, shrimp ka-bobs, corn on the cob and a pitcher of margueritas.

I'll be looking for the invite in the mail then. Are your desires registered at Target? :p
 

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