Ethical Dilemmas (1 Viewer)

JBishton

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Posted by Joe Sanders 1-3-06, deleted 1-3-06 per my request.


We all face ethical dilemmas in our daily lives. I’m in the middle of one that I partially caused and now I find it curious that I’m in one, since I hold myself to generally very high standard of integrity.

I have a friend, one of my best. We have been friends for 18 years, I watched his kids grow up and generally defended him against many of his disgruntled employees. I’m in the construction industry and it has many a back-stabbing’ criminal types in its wings.

About 19 months ago I met a woman at his office. Within a very few dates we became a couple. We will celebrate 18 months on the 6th.

So much for the back ground. This guy is an unbelievable business man, his small construction company employs roughly 150 or so workers. He built this business first by working then by directing. But, his skills at supervising office staff are very limited, his wife was able to perform all of the admin task for 25 years until his recent growth spurt which has lasted about 5 years. He and his wife have been screaming at each other for over 30 years with no sign of relenting.

As I said he has developed very few skills applicable to managing office staff.

So after basically demoralizing my girl friend for months he finely stooped to sexually harassing her. Nothing major, but definitely over the line. She is a single mom with two beautiful little girls which I plan to add to my daughter list.

So he comes in one day and pinches her on the butt. Well she’s the type that doesn’t much care for that, and told me she was going to start looking for a new job. One of my home builder customers was thinking about increasing his office staff and I told him about her.

When he asked why she we leaving, I told him the sexual harassment story.

Wow, who would have guessed?

So last week I get a call on my Nextel from my girlfriend. It turns out my customer is going to start using my friends plumbing company to plumb his houses. My customers dad has been using my friends carpenter company for years and recommended him to my customer.

Well I was in his office that day and we talked about the fact that we knew each other, small world and all. So he says I guess your girl friend wont need to change jobs because they (my friends business) are growing. And like a fool I reminded him of the previous conversation.

So by now you must be wondering where is the ethical dilemma. That’s next.

In the process of explaining how he got my friend to work for him he let is slip that he is $3000.00 cheaper than the other carpenters.

So I can't tell my friend he is leaving $3000.00 dollars (per house) on the table without the risk of it getting out that I have told one of his customers that he sexually harasses his office staff.

So now I must let him loose maybe $100,000 in revenue this year. I already know what I’m going to do, but I would like to hear from ya’ll about it.
__________________

I am the woman of 18 months. I asked Joe to delete this because it is still a very sore spot for me. I am embarrassed that that had happened and a bit ashamed that I still work at the company. What Joe says was Nothing Major, was VERY Major to me. All I want everyone to know is that I am currently looking for employment elsewhere. I have 2 mouths to feed and cant just quit without having something else lined up. Now, having said My peace…

Joe obviously trusts and respects the people on this forum enough to let you in his life. Your thoughts/opinions are important to him (even though I think he should have asked me about posting this topic first) and I respect that.
 

Kraj

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I sincerely hope you found our responses to be respectful and helpful. We wish you good luck in finding a new job and resolving the situation.
 

JBishton

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Thank you Kraj
 

jsanders

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Hmm, Well I guess the cats out of the bag about who you are.
 
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Rich

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We knew anyway Jen, discretion's not one of your finer points :eek: :p
 

jsanders

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Rich said:
We knew anyway Jen, discretion's not one of your finer points :eek: :p

How did you know she is my girl friend?
 
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Rich

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I'm not going off searching for the thread, you must know which one it was
 

Kraj

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I don't. I remember him mentioning she posted here but not who she was.

BTW, jbishton, if I may be so bold.... you shouldn't be embarrassed the incident happened; it's not your fault. And I think Selena has a point about standing up for yourself and not leaving the job. You're not the problem and you're not the one who needs to change. Certainly it's not that simple and no one knows better what to do than you, but it's something to consider.
 
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Rich

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Kraj said:
I don't. I remember him mentioning she posted here but not who she was.
some of us put two and three together and came up with one :cool:
 

jsanders

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Rich said:
I'm not going off searching for the thread, you must know which one it was



That's because once again Richy boy, that size 11 is not too tasty.
 

jsanders

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Rich said:
some of us put two and three together and came up with one :cool:
Thank you Kraj,

The ultimate unbiased referee.
 

Kraj

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So much for respectful and helpful responses.... :rolleyes:
 

jsanders

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Kraj said:
So much for respectful and helpful responses.... :rolleyes:

It definitely got side tracked.

That’s Ok, been looking for an excuse to beat up on Rich.
 
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