One Liners; Tidbits; Wise Sayings

Where does it say he was sleeping on the job? It just says he was sleeping. For all we know, he could have had that dream at home. :)
 
Cheeseburger walks into a bar, bartender says, "Hey buddy, we don't serve food here!"
 
Three sheep walk into a bar.
Shouldn't that read "Three sheep walk into a baa." ?

Ok, stop throwing things. You've no idea how my day has been ;)
 
Two guys walk out of a bar (for a change).
The first one asks "Is that the sun or the moon?"
The second one replies "I don't know, I don't live around here".
 
A friend told me this one:

I give way on the street to no one except:
Looking in the rear-view mirror I see
Blonde
SUV
Cellphone.

I pull over at once and let her pass.
 
a puzzle

It is a body part.
First 2 times, it is free. Third time, you have to pay for it.
What is it?
 
Is this related to Christmas, and the "two front teeth" you get???
I think it means your 'baby' and adult sets of teeth are free, but when you get false ones, they cost you.
 
I got a falsey - free from the NHS...
does this count
 
Here's one lifted from the STAR: A good friend is one who'll come out, even late at night, bail you out of jail, a real friend is one who'll sit beside you there and says "Damn that was fun!"

Cheers!
Goh
 
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