Things I nearly did right

You Yanks have Mickey Mouse,pluto, DD, - We brits have a saggey old worn teddy bear -Tigger , Piglet,a depressed Donkey , a rabbit ,and a Kangeroo and a baby roo - classic Pooh is brill -as he's not the cleverest bear.. as are mos tof the others (a bit dim) which is his charm -- been to 100 acre woods and also to the memorial site of the writer the view is fantasic its a rocky outcrop with views accross heath land as far as the eye can see, then down to the sweet shop where Christoper Robin acutal used to go- one of the few places where they can sell Pooh items outside of any disney interfereance - it a small shop called Pooh corner - near a coupel fo decent pubs ..
disney lost the case to say that they owned the rights to Pooh for this shop and that they had to pay to the sole surving child of the author proper royalities - she, i am afraid is meantly disabled ( from birth) and the money is for her up keep and any profits left over go to this charity (forgotten what it is)
 
I have a couple of good incidents to share:

I was living in an apartment with my brother and one day I decided I would take some corn chips and put some grated cheese on them and put them in the oven to melt the cheese. Well, some pizza droppings caught fire (we didn't clean it too well, as you can see) and then I, being completely naive at the time, threw flour on it thinking it would help smother the flames. I was very lucky it didn't explode, but it did definitely burn better after that. So, I had to call the fire department. It was in a small town so the fire dept. was a volunteer fire dept. and one of the responders was my landlord. Fun... So, I did learn from the first firefighter who showed up that salt will extinguish a fire (definitely don't throw flour on a fire :D ).

The second, dealing with the same oven, is that the top element in the oven didn't work for the longest time (no my other incident didn't cause it). But I was working for an electrical supply place and thought I could get a good deal on an element. Well I thought it would just pop out, like the ones I saw at our work, but it was hard-wired in. So, here I go unwiring it so I could pull it out, when I then thought that I might want to mark where the wires came off of. Well, by then it was too late. So I tried connecting it back up the way I THOUGHT I had pulled them off. Well, I didn't get it right and when I turned the power back on and then turned the knob for the oven it basically gave a nice explosion and arcing. The fuse panel blew and then I turned the knob to the off position. Well, when I turned the power back on it arced again, without turning the knob and then stopped. Well, we were then without a stove/oven for the rest of our stay.

I have learned things from these incidents and don't intend to repeat the stupid acts that caused them in the first place. So, I just thought it might be interesting (oh, I managed to kill the refrigerator in the place too...I was on a roll). :D
 
Where to begin - I'm not clumsy or stupid (I think :p ) but I have taken calculated risks, especially with DIY, that have proven not to be pretty dumb in hindsight (tbh I think I get a bit overconfident), here's a couple:

Electrocuted #1

Cutting the grass and got the lead stuck behind a rock, pulled hard to free it and broke the lead where it has previously been joined (not by me I hasten to add) by twisting the broken wire together and taping it up :rolleyes: . I couldn't be bother to disconnect from the mains and thought

"OK as long as I careful and don't touch both wires at the same time.............."

ZZZZAAAPPPP - part of the tape (stuck to the live) stuck to my hand just as I touched the neutral.

My hand ached for about 2 days from that one :rolleyes:

Electrocuted #2

Rewiring a light switch and as above "as long as I caref......." ZZZZAAAPPP the screwdriver flew across the room and nearly hit my mate in the head.

Burn

Now I put this down to cat like reactions :p - I was ironing a shirt and put the iron down but as I was also watching TV and was distracted I put it on the edge of the ironing board and it fell. So I grabbed it (with the speed of a ninja of course :p ) but as it was falling sideways so...

I managed to get my hand on the plastic but the hot plate landed on my forearm so I now got a nice horizontal scar across my arm.

Now is it just me but when I say to myself "This knife blade is new and very sharp so be caref........dang" that's another scar BUT if I don't think about it, it's always ok ??

Just 2 more I have to mention, there not really my fault (kinda) but more of an accident, both from when I built cabinets:

Using a horizontal belt sander and the wood slipped - erm Boss I've just lost the skin (down the bone) on 2 knuckles. He still wouldn't let me go home despite feeling very woosy.

Building a Welsh dresser and misjudged the angle of one of the screws and managed to screw my finger to the side panel. The worst bit was it went in so deep I had to reverse the air screw driver to free my finger. :eek:
 
Showd this bunch of posts to my wife

Tears flowed from laughing

She could not believe such a collection of stories but as I explained these could never be made up

keep em coming

L
 
my most recent and favorite that i have had was with my truck, i was driving around and all the sudden the truck got real loud. i drove home 40 mins got out of the truck and popped the hood. i noticed a plug missing in my manifold and proceeded to stick my finger into the hole. burned the crap out of my finger. had thread marks on it for a month. i mean it felt cool after the fact but boy, how stupid can u get.
i dont know if u brits have ever heard of bill engval and his "here's your sign" comedy routine. but that hits the nail on the head
 
Guys i am back

Worked as a chef ....
Deep fried fingers(sounds worse than it is- when doing fish in batter youpick it up and gentle lower it into the hot fat .. yep .. didn't hurt as the batter takes 90% of the heat a but you have to keep peeling off the batter.


another chef one (their are reams of these)
using the chip chopper ( Put the potatoes in and it makes chips- fries for the US guys)
some muppet had done doggey wiring (not me) and i flew accross the room hit the fridge , slapped the floor after i hit the fridge (I am not light weight but boy did I fly ) hair stood on end - found out 480 volts in that sucker .. my so called mates saw this - did they rush to my aid - no, wet themselves laughing

Blow up a kitchen by accident - honest was not my fault again dodgey wiring - turned on a big fryer - takes about 10 mins to warm up- went to have a cup of tea came back flames 10 ft in the air - fire brigade sirens you name we had it - this one ws not down to me, but as i was there ...

numerous cuts, burns but as a chef these are run of the mill.one of my friends used to light a boiler - this was in Germany (army)and everytime it blow up on him- we used to make him do it every morning - it was our alarm clock - now that was funny , he would light a match and throw it down to the pilot light and you wait 3- 4 seconds then look to see if its lite if it has you then turn on the fuel . he would wait then look at the pilot and everytime he did there was a little explosion and he would lose his right eye brow , we would make him do this agian , puff, sizzle left eye brow gone and again, puff - no fringe - one more final time and whole chimmey explosed minor burns all over - I really did nearly wet myself laughing , after this we didn't let him loose with matches, but it keep us amused for about 6 months :D
 
another cheffy one .

Was out doing some cooking and i thought i need a really sharp knife , how sharp is this one - cut the top of me thumb off.. yep sharp - had to go to the medic , as it was bleeding a little shoved it in my mouth as you do and i mumbbled to him.Mmmm mmmmm .mmmmmm Uug mmm- which he decifered into you cut yourself , how bad? mmmmm.Urgh!!. - Decifered quite bad , lets have a look say's he , painted the ambulance bright red - he shove my thumb back into my mouth and calmly said - you cut your thumb (10 out of 10 for obersation) - should of gone to the hospital - but he was sh*t hot at what he was about wraped my thumb up in bandage about 1inch thick tied my hand to my head and sent me back to work - you try cutting - or anything with your wrong hand and your right hand tied to your head
a- almost impossible to do anything
b- you end up looking like an idiot
 
In North America we have takeout called Kentucky Fried Chicken. Picked some up on the way to work one day, intending to re-heat it in the microwave. This was in the 80s - so microwaves were something of a novelty. I asked my cohort how long to cook the chicken? He said 15 minutes on High. It is interesting what microwaves can do to fried chicken!

He still claims he thought I was cooking it from frozen.

And I still don't/won't own a microwave.
 
Got another one for you :

Last winter I was driving home from office and during the day temperatures dropped down. When leaving the office , temps were just below 0˚C. So the road was kind of slippery. Having driven some 15 km , it started snowing and the highway became even more slippery. Everywhere cars were bumping and crashes were all over the place.
During the following 2 ½ hours I sort of managed to get thru this without being hit by any other car , although I escaped from disaster pretty close.
So it was a relief to finally end up at the road where I live and carefully I drove around the last corner. At that precise moment I was hit by a car ( just 20 mtrs from home), who appearantly lost control on the snowy surface. I got out of my car and out of pure frustration I started yelling at the owner of the car that hit me. I stopped yelling after 2 seconds as I realized that it was my wife ! :eek: :eek:
 
Rak
Stuff like that willg et you sleeping on the sofa
 
Correct, normally the wife is yelling at me and she never sleeps on the sofa :p
 
Guys

We have a system here for recording Lessons Learned. Does anybody have any objections to me circulating some of these offerings to a few selected colleagues.

Of course they will be totally anonymous (People and Source) but of course if you would like to be acknowledged as the originator that I would be pleased to accomodate as well.

Len (now known as Fingers)
 
Was painting a flagpole (dont ask) and using a wooden ladder (I said dont ask!). Top rung of the ladder snapped while I was finishing the top of the flagpole resulting, I'm sure, in a Looney Tunes moment of me stood 20ft up on fresh air looking horrified as Ladder collapses beneath me, followed by a quick vertical descent leaving me with a nice white stripe from crotch to forehead. Helpful people who where supposed to holding the ladder p*ssing themselves with laughter.
 
I also painted a flagpole - but lowered it first ( see thats the trick -given my track record ...)
 
My first job as an helper in a meat shop in a big market place at 15 years old. I asked the manager what I should use to clean the floor. He said: "Mix the soaps with hot water." Went in the back store to find three gallons: Soap A, Soap B and Chlorine... Yes, I mixed them all, including the chlorine. That create a big cloud of poisonous fume. They had to close not the meat shop but the whole market place. Ambulances came to help customers and other employees with breathing problems, including myself. Police and firefighters also came to the rescue. How ambarassing! And you know what? I didn't loose my job. The manager was angry, but agreed that he should have been more precise.

A few years later, in another meat shop, I had to cook some lobsters. I put the kettle of water on the propane burner and scratch my last match to lit it up. But the match failed to stay alive long enough. Since it was my last one, I go around asking for another one. When I came back and lit the burner... Yes, gaz as made a huge ball of blue fire underneath the kettle. I lost all my arm's hair from hand to elbow. Luckily, skin didn't burn though. I had to shave my other arm to make it looks like the burned one. And couldn't get the stench completly out of me for days.

Once, I was cutting beef bones on a butcher saw. Suddenly, the bone started to roll on itself. Didn't put my fingers on it, affraid that I would cut myself. So, I stopped the saw and looked back at the peice of bone rotating with the blade still in movement. Just when I started looking at it, it was pushed away from the blade and knoked me in the fore head. With the speed accumulated by its numerous rotations and the fast speed of the blade, it came to me has hard as a truck on the highway. Felt down on the floor and loose counscious until a friend came to my rescue. I had to go with a huge bump on the fore head for weeks, the biggest ever seen, like those in cartoons. Everyone kept looking at me strangely on the streets. Once again, I was lucky 'cause I didn't break my skull at all, since it probably hit me flat.

Is there anyone still wandering why I left meat cutting for computer science?
 
Many years ago
Needed to cut down some shrubby trees against old fence

Best mate helping

No proper tools and many smallish bits shooting from stump so

Bend shoot over, if it didn't break cut with saw

Going well... last bit was a bit thicker Took both of us to bend it over

Mate said... Hand on I'll cut it

I did and went through the fence feet first

When the dust settled he was rolling on the ground laughing

I introduced him to my sister

He is now my brother in law.... got my own back didn't I



L
 
Me and best friend hanging out in the back yard, notice the cat has got hold of a mouse and is busy torturing the little mite. Pull the cat off but it's too late for mousey, he's alive but barely breathing. So we decide euphenasia is the best policy. Friend decides he will do the necessary but is not a natural born killer, so he...

Gets shovel from tool-shed
Closes his eyes
Lifts shovel above his head and brings it down as hard as he can on mousey. (I guess he wanted to make sure the passing was sudden :p )
Mousey explodes on impact
Shovel bounces back up from the ground and hits him square on the fore-head.
I have to go change my underpants :D
 
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