ColinEssex
Old registered user
- Local time
- Today, 08:26
- Joined
- Feb 22, 2002
- Messages
- 9,451
I did this thread a few years back, but it was lost in the hack, I was asked to repeat it.
It's how the US TV and film people always portray things about the USA. I have no idea if they're true or not
1) With the whole world to chose from. aliens always land near a small desert town in New Mexico.
2) Fire engines have a steering wheel at the back and front
3) US soldiers always sing when they are running
4) Wherever you want to go by car, in a US city, there is always a huge parking space right outside the building you want to go in
5) US motorists never lock their cars.
6) No-one uses a toilet in westerns
7) With all the horses in westerns there is no horse sh*t anywhere
8) Six shooter guns always fire at least 10 rounds
9) Central Park is the best place to get mugged
10) The police are always eating burgers and coke in their cars
11) Cars in the US are as long as a London bus
12) Houses are made of wood (not bricks), especially in tornado and hurricane areas
13) The military top man always says "nuke 'em"
14) There are no cafe's in the US, they are all 'diners'
15) 'Diners' are always old railway coaches
16) 'Diners' always have red gingham table cloths and net curtains
17) People never see the restaurant bill, they roll off a few notes and throw it on the table then walk out.
18) All phone numbers start "555"
19) All schoolchildren drive fancy pick-up trucks to school
20) All girls are / have been cheerleaders
21) US schoolchildren are aged between 20 and 25 and are perpetual students
22) Refills of coffee cups is always free
23) Planes to Los Angeles are always diverted to Salt Lake City because of fog
24) When the pilot says "all is quiet" you know it'll crash soon.
25) Sea fog always contains ghosts of dead sailors
26) Radio station names are always letters and numbers - never a proper name
27) Maried people always have single beds
28) Police in the south are all corrupt
29) Police sheriffs in the south chew tobacco and spit alot
30) American men in Texas wear hats like JR Ewing
31) American women in the south always have 2 forenames (Ellie-May, Sue-Ellen)
32) The American "Do-Nut" doesn't contain the word "Dough" (as in doughnut - the correct spelling)
33) An hour long TV show is only 40 mins without adverts
34) Quincy (a pathologist) always solves the case because the police can't
35) There's always a dead body under a pier on the beach
36) Shop workers always say "Have a nice day now" with the sincerity of a dead fish
37) Steam always comes out of manholes
38) City streets are always wet at night
39) Dentists are always Jewish
40) Fire hydrants are always being run into by cars and water spouts up 30 feet
41) House don't have letter boxes in their door - its a little tin box by the pavement so people can steal the mail
42) Newspaper delivery boys always throw rolled up newspapers in the general direction of a house - they never get off their bike
43) Cars always go at 60mph in little alleyways, always hit bins and blow litter everywhere
44) Motels always have a miserable depressing owner / reception man
45) Ambulances are estate cars (station wagons)
46) In the emergency room in hospital, they all shout alot and say "stat" every other word.
47) Every patient has their own room, with all mod cons and a stunning nurse
48) Pathology tissue cultures that take 2 or 3 days to grow are always ready in an hour
49) Southern people eat Grits all the time
50) People carry machine guns in Chicago
Col
It's how the US TV and film people always portray things about the USA. I have no idea if they're true or not
1) With the whole world to chose from. aliens always land near a small desert town in New Mexico.
2) Fire engines have a steering wheel at the back and front
3) US soldiers always sing when they are running
4) Wherever you want to go by car, in a US city, there is always a huge parking space right outside the building you want to go in
5) US motorists never lock their cars.
6) No-one uses a toilet in westerns
7) With all the horses in westerns there is no horse sh*t anywhere
8) Six shooter guns always fire at least 10 rounds
9) Central Park is the best place to get mugged
10) The police are always eating burgers and coke in their cars
11) Cars in the US are as long as a London bus
12) Houses are made of wood (not bricks), especially in tornado and hurricane areas
13) The military top man always says "nuke 'em"
14) There are no cafe's in the US, they are all 'diners'
15) 'Diners' are always old railway coaches
16) 'Diners' always have red gingham table cloths and net curtains
17) People never see the restaurant bill, they roll off a few notes and throw it on the table then walk out.
18) All phone numbers start "555"
19) All schoolchildren drive fancy pick-up trucks to school
20) All girls are / have been cheerleaders
21) US schoolchildren are aged between 20 and 25 and are perpetual students
22) Refills of coffee cups is always free
23) Planes to Los Angeles are always diverted to Salt Lake City because of fog
24) When the pilot says "all is quiet" you know it'll crash soon.
25) Sea fog always contains ghosts of dead sailors
26) Radio station names are always letters and numbers - never a proper name
27) Maried people always have single beds
28) Police in the south are all corrupt
29) Police sheriffs in the south chew tobacco and spit alot
30) American men in Texas wear hats like JR Ewing
31) American women in the south always have 2 forenames (Ellie-May, Sue-Ellen)
32) The American "Do-Nut" doesn't contain the word "Dough" (as in doughnut - the correct spelling)
33) An hour long TV show is only 40 mins without adverts
34) Quincy (a pathologist) always solves the case because the police can't
35) There's always a dead body under a pier on the beach
36) Shop workers always say "Have a nice day now" with the sincerity of a dead fish
37) Steam always comes out of manholes
38) City streets are always wet at night
39) Dentists are always Jewish
40) Fire hydrants are always being run into by cars and water spouts up 30 feet
41) House don't have letter boxes in their door - its a little tin box by the pavement so people can steal the mail
42) Newspaper delivery boys always throw rolled up newspapers in the general direction of a house - they never get off their bike
43) Cars always go at 60mph in little alleyways, always hit bins and blow litter everywhere
44) Motels always have a miserable depressing owner / reception man
45) Ambulances are estate cars (station wagons)
46) In the emergency room in hospital, they all shout alot and say "stat" every other word.
47) Every patient has their own room, with all mod cons and a stunning nurse
48) Pathology tissue cultures that take 2 or 3 days to grow are always ready in an hour
49) Southern people eat Grits all the time
50) People carry machine guns in Chicago
Col
