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What's your best/worst joke? (16 Viewers)
- Thread starter Fornatian
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My wife swears that she doesn't need to make that particular replacement in our bathroom.
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Here in the UK we had a popular comedy series called "one foot in the grave" it was about the antics of Victor Meldrew, an old cantankerous retired chap, who through no fault of his own was always getting into the most awkward and comical situations.. To my mind his wife Margaret was the star of the show!
One scene sticks in my mind and now I am sat here writing it down it doesn't seem so funny, but it's aligned with current humor in this thread and now I've started writing it I suppose I've got to finish!
Margaret was pissed off with Victor, I think she caught him in bed with a woman, all completely innocent and everything, and she knew it was, but still she had to take her revenge ..
The scene - Bedtime - Meldrew goes into the bathroom and you can hear him having a Wee.. next you hear a painful shout and the only thing you can infer is that he'd taken a piece of toilet paper from the roll to tidy himself up as it were... And the painful expletive was because Margaret had put some chilli powder or some other irritant on the paper and he had just applied it to his delicate area ...
One scene sticks in my mind and now I am sat here writing it down it doesn't seem so funny, but it's aligned with current humor in this thread and now I've started writing it I suppose I've got to finish!
Margaret was pissed off with Victor, I think she caught him in bed with a woman, all completely innocent and everything, and she knew it was, but still she had to take her revenge ..
The scene - Bedtime - Meldrew goes into the bathroom and you can hear him having a Wee.. next you hear a painful shout and the only thing you can infer is that he'd taken a piece of toilet paper from the roll to tidy himself up as it were... And the painful expletive was because Margaret had put some chilli powder or some other irritant on the paper and he had just applied it to his delicate area ...
Dick7Access
Dick S
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I am not saying my wife is a cleaning fanatic, but I did bring her back a very expensive cuckoo clock from Germany, and she loved it for a while, but then she said she was tired of changing the paper under the bird.
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Copied from a friend's post:
A lawyer, who had a wife and 12 children, and needed to move home, because his rental agreement was terminated by the owner who wanted to reoccupy the home.
But he was having a lot of difficulty finding a new house to rent.
When he said he had 12 children no one would rent a home to him because they felt that the children would destroy the place.
He couldn't say he had no children, because he couldn't lie we all know lawyers cannot and do not lie. So he sent his wife for a
walk to the cemetery with 11 of their kids.
He took the remaining one with him to see rental homes with the real estate agent He loved one of the homes and the price was right.
The agent asked,"How many children do you have He answered: "Twelve." The agent asked, "Where are the others?"
The lawyer, with his best courtroom sad look answered,
"They're in the cemetery with their mother."
MORAL: As any good lawyer knows, it's not
necessary to lie, one only needs to choose the right words!
And don't forget, most politicians are,
unfortunately, lawyers
A lawyer, who had a wife and 12 children, and needed to move home, because his rental agreement was terminated by the owner who wanted to reoccupy the home.
But he was having a lot of difficulty finding a new house to rent.
When he said he had 12 children no one would rent a home to him because they felt that the children would destroy the place.
He couldn't say he had no children, because he couldn't lie we all know lawyers cannot and do not lie. So he sent his wife for a
walk to the cemetery with 11 of their kids.
He took the remaining one with him to see rental homes with the real estate agent He loved one of the homes and the price was right.
The agent asked,"How many children do you have He answered: "Twelve." The agent asked, "Where are the others?"
The lawyer, with his best courtroom sad look answered,
"They're in the cemetery with their mother."
MORAL: As any good lawyer knows, it's not
necessary to lie, one only needs to choose the right words!
And don't forget, most politicians are,
unfortunately, lawyers
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