What's your best/worst joke? (1 Viewer)

[conception_native_0123]

Management tried to force the issue and the employee filed a complaint for harassment and actually won!!!

that reminds me of an actual case I heard about in the USA one time. a man was robbing a home and tried to break in through the glass window on top of the house. he cut himself on the glass, sued the homeowner and won the case. ha ha

 

[The_Doc_Man]

Adam, that case proves that the USA legal system has forgotten about the old theory of "misadventure" - where someone was doing something wrong and got injured, and in that case it was "the perpetrator's fault." More and more, I'm seeing cases where the owner of a property is totally innocent and yet gets sued. A recent case occurred in which a mechanic was injured while working on a car at a dealership's garage. The mechanic sued the car's owner even though at the time it was in the custody of the dealership. It SHOULD have been a "Workman's Comp" case but wasn't. I have not yet seen the followup, but to me it is total insanity.

 

[Cotswold]

The police have confirmed that the man who fell from the roof of a nightclub last night was not a bouncer.

 

[KitaYama]

@The_Doc_Man @conception_native_0123
Are these stories true?
There was a story about a lawsuit In 1992.
Stella, then 79, spilled a cup of McDonald’s coffee onto her own lap, burning herself. A New Mexico jury awarded her $2.9 million in damages, But it wasn't the whole story. Ever since stories about strange lawsuits were circulated and none of them was true. The story of a lady who tried to dry her kitten with a microwave and sued the manufacturer was another one.

These kind of stories are called "The Stella Awards" and mostly are false.

Here's the real story of coffee cup lawsuit:

Stella Liebeck's Case: What Really Happened - True Stella Awards

May it Please the Court: I know quite well that not all of lawsuits are frivolous abuse of the American Justice System. Many cases indeed involve real issues, real injuries, and deserve real compensation. And some don’t. That’s why I stress that you should read the cases before you judge. How...

stellaawards.com

Microwaved poodles, McCoffee spills – and other phoney lawsuits

A microwave maker was sued by an old lady who cooked her poodle, following her attempt to dry the dog after giving it a bath. Another old lady won $2.9 million against McDonald's for spilling a cup of coffee on herself while driving. But not really...

www.pinsentmasons.com

 

[conception_native_0123]

but to me it is total insanity.

yeah that IS insane. maybe it was a mistake? he did not know WHO to sue so he just picked someone?

 

[conception_native_0123]

yes KitaYama, the story I told actually happened in the USA at some point. I just don't remember how long ago it was.

 

[Steve R.]

These kind of stories are called "The Stella Awards" and mostly are false.

You raise a valid point concerning cases appearing in the media where you have to depend on the integrity of those reporting. But then there are the incomprehensible cases where you are actually a witness to a bizarre legal decision.

If I had, as programmer, been given a task of putting something together for a language that I did not know, I would start researching how to do it. If training was available, I would willingly go. It would be a fun learning experience. I would consider it being a paid vacation!!! But to refuse to learn and to refuse to attend training is unbelievable. But, then to assert "harassment" for management insisting that you to do your work is beyond belief.

 

[The_Doc_Man]

The police have confirmed that the man who fell from the roof of a nightclub last night was not a bouncer.

Sadly, we don't have a "GROAN" icon.

 

[NauticalGent]

 

[AccessBlaster]

 

[NauticalGent]

View attachment 100931

Hell, I'd buy that just for the novelty!

 

[The_Doc_Man]

MIGHT slow down some of those folks who drive while texting. Sadly, might not. But at least the odds would greatly improve that we would get them off the street faster due to the greater odds of them having a bad wreck.

 

[NauticalGent]

 

[KitaYama]

 

[Jan Pawlowski]

My worst joke was a pickup line: "I'm here, which means your first wish is granted. What will be the other two?" It somehow worked, don't ask how.

 

[Cotswold]

Hell, I'd buy that just for the novelty!

Hey, don't knock it. I've had one for years and thought all Access programmers used them.

 

[Cotswold]

This is a joke that a woman thought was funny, but I'll tell you anyway.

Question : Why is it that unmarried women are thinner than married women?
Answer : A single woman comes home, sees what is in the fridge and just goes to bed. A married woman comes home, sees what is in the bed and goes to the fridge.

 

[Isaac]

Please accept my apologies, it did not even occur to me that the word "khaki" could be pronounced differently and completely lose its meaning Within the context of the joke. I presume it's because you are more likely to call a "car" an automobile or auto.

Anyway, it's my turn, I had a senior moment! Wish I was blonde.

Ha ha, no, it's because we pronounce "car" as "car" (including the R) rather than "CAH" - but new yorkers would have gotten it.
It's fun to peruse these old pages!

 

[NauticalGent]

 

[Steve R.]

Why is the mushroom always invited to the party?

Spoiler

Because he is a fungi

Did you hear about the new restaurant that opened on the Moon?

Spoiler

Great Food, but no atmosphere

What did the buffalo say to his son has he left?

Spoiler

Bison

How fast is milk?

Spoiler

It's pasteurized before you know it.

From Guy Fieri, Grocery Games show.