Guy stuff...

[statsman]

Enough what? Please explain.

Col

If you are asking that question, I rest my case.

 

[ColinEssex]

If you are asking that question, I rest my case.

I think you missed the point of my comment - ah, I forgot, you are in the North American area, that would explain the inability to detect subtleties.

Never mind. I'll try to be more obvious in future so as not to confuse you colonials.

Col

 

[statsman]

I think you missed the point of my comment - ah, I forgot, you are in the North American area, that would explain the inability to detect subtleties.

Never mind. I'll try to be more obvious in future so as not to confuse you colonials.

Col

Isn't that what the smilies are for?

I was unable to come up with an answer to you question that wouldn't get bounced by the censor.

 

[ColinEssex]

Isn't that what the smilies are for?

Seldom use them, but if it helps the understanding for colonials then I'll try to remember.



Col

 

[Sum Guy]

It has been quite sometime since the British could refer to anyone as a "colonial", with the exception of Gibralter.

The Empire is gone Col.

"Canada is unique in the world. It's the only country in history that got it's independence by by asking for it...nicely"
Northrop Frye.

 

[GaryPanic]

err update - we still do have colonies - but these are more of a hobby than real colonies




The British Overseas Territories are fourteen territories which the United Kingdom has under its sovereignty, but not as part of the United Kingdom itself[1].

The name "British Overseas Territory" was introduced by the British Overseas Territories Act 2002, and replaced the name British dependent territory which was introduced by the British Nationality Act 1981. Before that, the territories were known as colonies or Crown colonies. The British Overseas Territories are also referred to as overseas territories of the United Kingdom[2], UK overseas territories[3], or when the context is clear, simply the Overseas Territories[1].

The territories of Jersey, Guernsey and the Isle of Man, though also under the sovereignty of the British Crown, have a slightly different constitutional relationship with the United Kingdom, and are consequently classed as Crown dependencies rather than Overseas Territories. Territories and dependencies are distinct from the Commonwealth of Nations, a voluntary association of former British colonies and latterly other nations such as Mozambique that have joined because of the benefits it offers.

In a historical context, colonies should be distinguished from protectorates and protected states, which though under British control, were nominally independent states, whereas colonies were part of the British state. They should also not be confused with Dominions, which, known collectively as the Commonwealth, were independent states, held to be equal in sovereign status to the United Kingdom within the Empire and Commonwealth after the Statute of Westminster in 1931. Crown colonies, such as Hong Kong, were differentiated from other colonies in being administered directly by the Crown, without the degree of local autonomy found in self-governed colonies such as Bermuda.

The current population of all UK overseas territories is estimated at 247,899.

 

[Rabbie]

"Canada is unique in the world. It's the only country in history that got it's independence by by asking for it...nicely"
Northrop Frye.

I can't find any reference to Australia or New Zealand having to fight for their independence. I think they got it the same way as Canada

 

[KenHigg]

Back on topic

Any knowledgeable mechanic would recognize these tools instantly, and might find them helpful around the house/garage - on second thought, ....

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your soda across the room, splattering it against that freshly-stained heirloom piece you were drying.

WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned guitar calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, 'Yeouw....'

ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age, or for perforating something behind and beyond the original intended target object.

SKIL SAW: A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.

PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.

BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs. Caution: Avoid using for manicures.

HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built for frustration enhancement. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.


WELDING GLOVES: Heavy duty leather gloves used to prolong the conduction of intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub you want the bearing race out of.

WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older British cars and motorcycles, they are now used mainly for impersonating that 9/16 or 1/2 socket you've been searching for the last 45 minutes.

TABLE SAW: A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.

EIGHT-FOOT LONG YELLOW PINE 4X4: Used for levering an automobile upward off of a trapped hydraulic jack handle.

TWEEZERS: A tool for removing wood splinters and wire wheel wires.

E-Z OUT BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool ten times harder than any known drill bit that snaps neatly off in bolt holes thereby ending any possible future use.

RADIAL ARM SAW: A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to scare neophytes into choosing another line of work.

TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.


CRAFTSMAN 1/2 x 24-INCH SCREWDRIVER: A very large pry bar that inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the end opposite the handle.
AVIATION METAL SNIPS: See hacksaw.

TROUBLE LIGHT: The home mechanic's own tanning booth. Sometimes called a drop light, it is a good source of vitamin D, 'the sunshine vitamin,' which is not otherwise found under cars at night. Health benefits aside, its main purpose is to consume 40- watt light bulbs at about the same rate that 105mm howitzer shells might be used during, say, the first few hours of the Battle of the Bulge. More often dark than light, its name is somewhat misleading. The accessory socket within the base, has been permanently rendered useless, unless requiring a source of 117vac power to shock the mechanic senseless.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids, opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.

STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws.

AIR COMPRESSOR: A machine that takes energy produced in a coal-burning power plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed air that travels by hose to a Chicago Pneumatic impact gun that grips rusty bolts which were last over tightened 40 years ago by someone at VW, and instantly rounds off their heads. Also used to quickly snap off lug nuts.

PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.

HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to make hoses too short.

HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent to the object we are trying to hit.

MECHANIC'S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use. It is also useful for removing large chunks of human flesh from the user's hands.

DAMMIT TOOL: (I have lot's of these) Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling 'DAMMIT' at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need after a really big hammer.

 

[ColinEssex]

Anyone doing the above should not handle tools.

There is nothing wrong if the tool is used correctly.

I'm not entirely sure why it was posted, unless it's an indication of a lack of American knowlege of tool usage.

 

[Rabbie]

Anyone doing the above should not handle tools.

There is nothing wrong if the tool is used correctly.

I'm not entirely sure why it was posted, unless it's an indication of a lack of American knowlege of tool usage.

It think it's what they call humo(u)r

 

[KenHigg]

It think it's what they call humo(u)r

I must admit the 'WHITWORTH SOCKETS' thing was over my head -

 

[Alc]

I must admit the 'WHITWORTH SOCKETS' thing was over my head -

My Dad had a hardware shop for around 40 years. In amongst all the various nuts and bolts were a few Whitworth sizes. You can't imagine the delight on the face of anyone who came in looking for one, after having gone to all the shops they could think of trying to find one.

We gained quite a few devoted 'regulars' that way.

 

[KenHigg]

So a whitworth socket has an odd size drive side?

 

[Brianwarnock]

I must admit the 'WHITWORTH SOCKETS' thing was over my head -

Now you may be joking, but if not Whitworth was a fine old British nut size. My old, and I mean old, socket set has Whitworth; A/F and metric sockets
3/8 Whit=7/16 BS and is approx 3/4 AF and 19mm .er.. Metric, if they were not colour coded I would have to read the info on them, hence the comment in the list.

Ken ignore Col he recently had a humour bypass, Southereners can be like that.

brian

 

[KenHigg]

Sorry to be dragging this on but if you can school me a bit more I can look really smart in front of my brother-law somewhere down the raod with this -

So a 3/8 whitworth is not really three eights of an inch but seven sixteenths of an inch?

 

[ColinEssex]

My socket set has whitworth, AF and metric sizes, what's the problem?

Oh, I have not had a humour bypass - it just seemed silly to me, unless as I say it was sending up how daft Americans are, which I suppose made it mildly interesting.

I prefer subtle clever humour.

Col

 

[Brianwarnock]

Sorry for the delay Ken I had to pop out, I started to type about screw sizes and across the flats (AF) measurements when I decided to see what wikipedia said, I would suggest that you look up Whitworth there and then you will be an expert.

Brian

 

[KenHigg]

I thought of that but was going to wait and see what you came up with. Will do - Thanks

 

[KenHigg]

Ah... Mystery solved: A whitworth tool has the actual bolt size as it marking whereas other standards simply have the bolt head size as the marking.

And of course a whitworth thread has unique thread pitch, etc.

 

[Rabbie]

Ah... Mystery solved: A whitworth tool has the actual bolt size as it marking whereas other standards simply have the bolt head size as the marking.

And of course a whitworth thread has unique thread pitch, etc.

BSF uses a very similar system as Whitworth - both use the bolt size but BSF has small nuts to save metal - It was I think brought in as a wartime economy measure.