Bullies (1 Viewer)

[statsman]

If you read Kitty's opening remarks, she was warned by a friend that this new manager was a bully when they arrived in her department.

Maybe she should check to see if there are any openings in the department the bully just left?

If you have a good reputation in the company, a transfer can usually be worked out with little difficulty.

 

[Fifty2One]

If you are in a job and the new supervisor has standards to enforce that you do not agree with then it might be the sign to start to move on to either another department or another firm. No, you can not expect a letter of recommendation from the new supervisor because all they know about you would be what is in your HR file. So you can approach your previous supervisor to ask for a personal letter of reference, or ask your immediate supervisor if they will write the letter. You should always have your resume fresh anyhow, especially the way the economy has been going, you may be surprized by a companies sudden closure or labour cuts which will leave you out of a job with no resume prepared. If you work on short term contracts then you would know how to work that but now this is a reality for many people who thought they had a career job. Always be prepared for a change which may require hunting for new or different employment.

Nothing is worst then working a job you hate - if you have to drag your ass into the workplace day after day the stress you allow to be placed on you will kill you early.

 

[Atomic Shrimp]

Weighed up against taking misery from a bully

Like I said, it affects different people in different ways.

I've had personal experience of working for people like this, so you shouldn't imagine that my viewpoint is theoretical - it's merely different, because there are different ways of dealing with similar situations, some of which work better for some people than others, and vice versa.

 

[dan-cat]

Rich's approach comes across as a bit brash but there is an important truth at play here.

When you work for someone, you are renting out YOUR time for an agreed price and list of duties. There is no reason why you should choose to offer them YOUR TIME in exchange for unacceptable treatment. If you are being bullied, it is a breach of contract on their part, no question.

The Rich approach is fine if you have the utter determination to find an alternative under your own steam. For some this is enough. If confrontation is not your thing then go all out to find an alternative without them knowing.

Everyone is actually free to choose to spend their time in anyway they see fit. It is the bully that tries to convice them otherwise.

 

[FluffyKitten]

I had to share this. after telling you about this new woman and her bully technicks, ive done my best to ignore the hurt she makes me feel with the way she speaks, its never what she says but how she says it.

So the yesterday she was barking at a woman who has worked for the company for more than 20 years. this woman has been having such a bad time with the menopause that her husband left her until shes over it. so she barked at this woman about not sitting properly in her chair and using the fire extinguisher as a door stop. my friend got up and slapped her! the supervisor started to shout at her telling her shed make sure she lost her job for it so my friend hit her again and told her to stuff her job!
The rest of us have told our bosses that she was pushed and thats why she did it. i hope they understand.

 

[Atomic Shrimp]

Although I agree what you're describing does indeed sound like a bad boss attitude, sometimes clashes like this arise just out of the fact that different people have different personalities and ways of speaking.

I've seen examples in the workplace many times where the employee was trying her best to be co-operative and compliant, and the boss was trying her best to get some genuine, non-imaginary problems dealt with, and yet it was impossible for the two of them to interact without a flare-up.

As a neutral third party, I could see that both of them were misunderstanding each others' mannerisms, habitual tone of voices, etc - even though neither of them were doing anything explicitly wrong - they just didn't 'click' - and as a result, both of them came away with the completely mistaken impression that the other was being deliberately beligerent (and my attempts to mediate were fruitless - the situation was already too far gone).

Not saying that's what happened here, of course.

 

[Fifty2One]

An event like that is purely a case of workplace harassement and should be brought to the attention of the highest level of management where you work - Chairman of the board or owners - as well as the government body which overseas labour in your jurisdiction (council or provincial or state) and stopped immediately.

 

[The_Doc_Man]

With enough witnesses for provocation, the bully will find out that her management style was at fault. But a really good upper-management person, when finding out that others felt there was provocation, should step in and talk to the bully VERY EMPHATICALLY. When a 20-year veteran acts out after a change in management like that, senior management must realize that there is a SERIOUS - and I DO mean serious - morale problem brewing. I've seen it before.

On the other hand, I must be objective about this and point out that the 20-year veteran handled it incorrectly, too. She should have gotten up, walked to the bully's boss, and said, "This person is harassing me. Do something about it or I'll file suit against the company for harassment." Then she should have walked back to her desk and ignored the bully.

Granted, the "slap the slop out of her" approach feels better, but some companies have a "no fighting" rule that makes it very hard to ignore taking a physical approach.

If it had been me, I assure you I would not have hit her. In the face. But I would have hit her in her personnel file. Then, every time she tried to use that tactic again, I would have filed a repeat grievance. It only takes a couple of times for someone to notice.

Then again, working for the US Government as a contractor, I am somewhat protected by the Federal Acquisition Rules, which set forth standards of treatment when the bully is in Civil Service and I am not. In private employment, we had to resort to state labor laws when we had bullies.

 

[statsman]

I'm not a big fan of assault as a method of dealing with problems, but there was mitigation.

I noticed Kitty made no mention of who propped the door open with the extinguisher. Did the bully even get the right person?

 

[Atomic Shrimp]

An event like that is purely a case of workplace harassement.

It might be difficult to establish that when some of the complaints this boss is making have a kernel of truth to them - using a fire extinguisher to prop open a door, for example, is something that employees just should not be doing.

Yes, it's a very commonly-done thing, and granted the boss may have approached the problem in the worst possible way, perhaps with motives that in truth had nothing to do with the fire extinguisher and everything to do with being a control freak on a personal power trip.

But people's motives and inner thoughts are not available for scrutiny - even if the event was witnessed.
What argument or defence can be offered against the statement "I asked her not to prop the door open with the fire extinguisher, and in response, she slapped my face".

 

[ByteMyzer]

What argument or defence can be offered against the statement "I asked her not to prop the door open with the fire extinguisher, and in response, she slapped my face".

How about:

"She did not ask me, she outright yelled at me, in front of my co-workers, which was unprofessional as well as highly embarassing and humiliating."

(granting, of course, that this should not be considered an excuse for the assault, but rather an argument to illustrate the issue of provocation)

 

[Atomic Shrimp]

Might work. It mostly hinges on whether those higher up in command can objectively determine who, out of the employees and the new boss, has the legitimate complaint - and whether those people higher up in command are inclined to try to find this out.

If they are any good as managers, they cannot simply assume that the new boss, being the newly-added variable, is the problem (because situations can arise where staff unreasonably dislike, and make trouble for their newly-appointed boss)

They shouldn't assume in the other direction either, of course.

 

[Fifty2One]

Case studies often lead to the determination that workplace violence had roots in harassment of some sort. Propping open a door with a fire extinguisher is most likely a violation of a fire code, yelling that at someone is not a solution, slapping a supervisor is not an appropriate response.
An effective manager is not a dictator but a team leader - if someone has no skills to lead then they should find an alternative vocation. If people take a proper route and report harassement as it occurs then things would rarely reach a situation where it becomes out of control. As reported harassement an investigation would reveal some of thr root causes and hopefully resolve the entire situation.
Some people are harsh because they have the wrong job, perhaps this boss is a better policy maker then a policy enforcer - but trying to use threats and force to supervise is definately not an effective way to encourage efficiency.

It might be difficult to establish that when some of the complaints this boss is making have a kernel of truth to them - using a fire extinguisher to prop open a door, for example, is something that employees just should not be doing.

Yes, it's a very commonly-done thing, and granted the boss may have approached the problem in the worst possible way, perhaps with motives that in truth had nothing to do with the fire extinguisher and everything to do with being a control freak on a personal power trip.

But people's motives and inner thoughts are not available for scrutiny - even if the event was witnessed.
What argument or defence can be offered against the statement "I asked her not to prop the door open with the fire extinguisher, and in response, she slapped my face".

The face slap could be a defensive knee jerk reaction to feeling threatened or the possibility of being on the receiving end of physical harm.

 

[Groundrush]

I'm a fire marshal at work & was trained by the fire brigade at the local fire dept. During our lesson we were told about the common misuse of fire extinguishers being used to keep doors open.

At the end of the lesson we walked out into the hall & spotted that they were using one to keep the passage door open

 

[statsman]

I'm a fire marshal at work & was trained by the fire brigade at the local fire dept. During our lesson we were told about the common misuse of fire extinguishers being used to keep doors open.

At the end of the lesson we walked out into the hall & spotted that they were using one to keep the passage door open

No doubt it was a fire door being propped open.

 

[FluffyKitten]

just thought id update you on this. the long term member of staff signed off with stress because so much had happened to her lately and the new member of staff was sent on a people management skills course. it worked, shes so much easer to work with now. the stress lady is still off i think she had what my mother would have called a nervous breakdown.

 

[Rich]

Did you say good riddance to bad rubbish?

 

[statsman]

Did you say good riddance to bad rubbish?

There are times Rich when your avitar looks like the ideal solution.