Cyber bullying - fact or fiction?

[dan-cat]

I'm just going to summarize my previous long post into two sentences:

Look at how butthurt a bunch of grown-ass men on a MS Access forum get. Teens/Pre-teens are going through a stage in brain development which tends to amplify emotional responses.

Casting my vote for "fact"

You posted an extremely informative, balanced piece and then followed it up with this exasperated outburst. I'm left somewhat confused.

 

[GSSDevelopment]

You posted an extremely informative, balanced piece and then followed it up with this exasperated outburst. I'm left somewhat confused.

I'm good at that. I will say Thank You for being the first to acknowledge that post, though

 

[Vassago]

I think the point Fifty was making is that 14-16 year olds will have plenty of experience with cyber-bullying as a part of their social media lives. "Lure" was definitely NOT the appropriate word to use. Come on! I also think that went too far.

I read it, GSS, and I completely agree. I grew up a little before you, before cyber-bullying was commonplace. We had social media, but it wasn't at the level we have today. I was a member of an early social media site, Bolt.com, in the late 90s. It had it's problems, but they were limited to the small percentage of people on the site. Most people local to you weren't on it, so most things blew over.

Today, Facebook dominates the social media world. Teenagers have a much harder time avoiding cyber-bullying. Someone can take a picture of them and turn it into a meme with no regard to how it will affect them, and suddenly the entire internet is sharing it. That's cyber-bullying at a global scale. Think about that the next time you share a seemingly harmless picture with someone.

There's also no escaping it. 30 years ago, if you shared a picture of yourself naked, it may make it's rounds among a few people but very unlikely got past that. Eventually, it would fade away. Today, if it makes it online, there's nothing you can do to stop it. There will constantly be NEW people to bully you, even months later. There was a teenager who was stupid enough to fall for a predator and sent a topless picture to him on a fake facebook profile on facebook. This man created a new account with her name and used that picture as the profile picture. It spread across her entire town. The family moved because the bullying got so bad. Eventually, it followed. She sadly took her own life. This isn't a case of needing to thicken your skin or being too sensitive. It's a case of bullying gone too far. Classmates spreading it through social media? Why?

There's plenty of bullying on here. Calling people names that you know are incorrect names is a prime example. There are key differences though. We are all adults, so have more developed minds. This site is hardly a global powerhouse of social media, so it's unlikely to spread outside of here and affect our personal lives and future. I don't consider generalized statements like "Americans don't know English" as bullying. Bullying is typically a more personal attack. I think we can all learn to stop and think about what we post to cut down on these comments.

I also hope you all think about something you share on facebook before you hit that share button. People can be seriously screwed up.

 

[Brianwarnock]

Sorry my bad: "lure" was not the correct word "invite" would be the more appropriate English word.

.

Thank you Fifty2One, it was indeed that one word that made that post so different to any others I have seen in my time on here, I'm just amazed that others cannot see its implications.

Brian

 

[dan-cat]

I'm just amazed that others cannot see its implications.

Brian

The implication was clear as was the line drawn between the outraged and the less sympathetic.

 

[Brianwarnock]

The implication was clear as was the line drawn between the outraged and the less sympathetic.

I'm sorry but I don't understand what you are saying.

Brian

 

[dan-cat]

I'm sorry but I don't understand what you are saying.

Brian

I don't think anyone missed the implication of the term "lure". Just that there were two easily defined camps of those concerned and those who were not so much.

 

[Brianwarnock]

Yes two camps, those who care about the forum and those that think anything goes if it is against Col.

Accessblaster charges Vassago with inconsistency, you seem to be saying that that is ok in some cases.

Brian

 

[dan-cat]

Yes two camps, those who care about the forum and those that think anything goes if it is against Col.

Accessblaster charges Vassago with inconsistency, you seem to be saying that that is ok in some cases.

Brian

You've come neatly to my point.

Allegiance improves the survivability of bullying. I posted a link earlier clearly showing Colin implying a similar trait to another member as to what Fifty2One did to Colin. No response. No outrage.

You presume that a lack of sympathy equates to carte blanche in attacking Colin. This is your allegiance to Colin inadvertently protecting his behavior. You jump to this extreme because of your allegiance to him and this jump firmly places you in the opposite camp to say AccessBlaster who illustrates clear outrage to one of many cases of Colin's destructive behavior to the forum. A 'reap what you sow' type response is quite understandable for those who have been on the receiving end of his antics.

This is what allegiance does. It allows anti-social behavior to survive by refusing to attack the members of it's own camp because by doing so one would be attacking one-self.

Nothing personal Brian. It happens on both sides. I'm just trying to answer Scott's question as to whether bullying can ever be eradicated.

 

[Brianwarnock]

OK you got me on that one that was an attempt at bullying, I say attempt as Tiny got the better of Col and did indeed make him appear as an absolute prat, I'd throw a few other adjectives in for good measure.

Col you really let yourself down there.

Brian

I don't think I was on Col's side here, but then if your memory is good you will know that I have called him on his and Rich's rants about Americans.

To say somebody has let themselves down is , or was in my time, a major critiscim.

Brian

 

[Brianwarnock]

Dan I think that your point in the Link got lost in Col's rant about Christianity, I certainly missed it and was puzzled by your post.
However let's all not sink to the lowest common denominator.

Brian

 

[dan-cat]

Dan I think that your point in the Link got lost in Col's rant about Christianity, I certainly missed it and was puzzled by your post.
However let's all not sink to the lowest common denominator.

Brian

I wasn't trying to dwell on your failings Brian, forgive me if it came across that way

I was just illustrating how Colin's anti-social posts continue to be tolerated and attempting to use that fact in coming up with some sort of answer to Scott's question.

 

[ColinEssex]

Despite repeated requests, this thread is taking a turn for the worst.

Therefore, before someone gets to say something they regret, may I respectfully ask the mods that this thread be closed please?

Thanks

Col

 

[ColinEssex]

I know this is serious subject and if any other member wants to revisit this in a new thread, I promise not to interfere.

AB, I don't think there is much new to add. Hence my request for closure.

It seems this phenomenon is here and is not restricted to the UK. Perhaps the owners of these massive sites should do more technically instead of counting their billions.

I am not technically qualified to know what though.

Col

 

[Bladerunner]

Guys,

The subject of Cyber Bullying is very close to my heart, having two young boys who are rapidly approaching the Social Media age range I am concerned for there online safety...

Scott, you should be concerned. Social Media has the potential to tear down a nation much less the young and old minds that make it go round and round.

Guys, Currently where my children live, with my ex wife, they have their Laptops in the same room and play online together, my ex wants them to be in separate rooms, I do not, my reasoning is that if one of them is subjected to Cyber abuse, they can discuss it amongst themselves and support each other, other than sitting in a room alone, re-reading hurtful messages and feeling isolated.

Scott, I agree with you that they (your kids) should share a room. There is plenty of time since when they hit the teens, they usually will want privacy.


I believe I stated it before somewhere. Two young people sitting on opposite ends of a park bench, texting each other. No speaking, but texting. How can you solve anything if you cannot communicate to anybody and social media does not teach you how to communicate.... at least on an eye-to-eye basis.

Bullying has been around for as long a someone has deemed someone else weaker than they are. Back in my day, we also had bullies. I was even bullied by a 'bad kid', that got me not one but two whippings and I do not mean a ruler on the hand. I befriended weaklings whenever I could. So did a lot of others. In the end, at least in our neighbor hood, the bullies either became friends that played with all of us or were ostracized themselves. Eventually most of them caught on but a few 'bad kids' did not. Now they bully everyone by stealing, raping and murdering. The social media of today does not allow this scenarios to play themselves out.Thus a bully is allowed to just keep going. I believe you will find the bullies of yesteryear are still bullies today.

Have a nice day :>)
Bladerunner

 

[Bladerunner]

Colin:
Do you know why the Americans called the British soldier 'Limeys', Just asking... do not know myself. Do not care if you call me 'Yank' and don't think we Americans take it as an insult. I believe in the song 'Over There' , 'Yanks' was used extensively.

Have a nice day :>)
Bladerunner

 

[Groundrush]

Colin:
Do you know why the Americans called the British soldier 'Limeys', Just asking... do not know myself. Do not care if you call me 'Yank' and don't think we Americans take it as an insult. I believe in the song 'Over There' , 'Yanks' was used extensively.

Have a nice day :>)
Bladerunner

Apparently something to do with the British during the 18/19th Century when during long periods at sea they would suffer from Scurvy (lack of vitamin c)
They later found out that a diet of Limes was a cure.
The Americans were amused by this and came up with the name "Limeys"

 

[scott-atkinson]

Allegiance improves the survivability of bullying. I posted a link earlier clearly showing Colin implying a similar trait to another member as to what Fifty2One did to Colin. No response. No outrage.

I think you will find that I made the point clear in post 50 that the sort of behavior as shown should not be tolerated by anyone or by anybody no matter where they are...

http://www.access-programmers.co.uk/forums/showpost.php?p=1332740&postcount=50

 

[dan-cat]

I think you will find that I made the point clear in post 50 that the sort of behavior as shown should not be tolerated by anyone or by anybody no matter where they are...

http://www.access-programmers.co.uk/forums/showpost.php?p=1332740&postcount=50

Just attempting to answer your question. What is actually required to eradicate bullying? I believe most and I include myself in this are not prepared to take the necessary steps.

 

[scott-atkinson]

I think laws need to be written and actions need to be taken to resolve the issues...

It is worthless having a 'Report' button on a social media site, if the site chooses to do nothing, or is toothless with regards to actions that can be taken...

As I have said on a previous post on this thread, I believe Social Media sites should be held accountable for the security measures on their sites, and when they cannot then laws need to be in place to block the sites at the ISP level..

For the record, I am male and 45 years of age and live in the UK, but I could if I wanted to create a profile on Facebook, Twitter, and be a 19 year old female in Canada, there are no checks in place to stop me from doing that...

A person who wants to spread hate can do it anonymously, and if there profile is reported and shutdown, they simply open another profile under another name from another public IP address and continue the abuse...

I believe, that a good start would be that only a residentially registered IP address can open a profile on a social media site with a name, and a social sercurity number, Passport number etc... something that is unique to the user and can identify them.. That way if abuse is reported and is investigated and found to be true, thene the persons profile is warned and if continued abuse is shut down, and that person cannot then open another profile on that site... Draconian I know but drastic measures call for drastic actions..

After all, we do not allow people to cross international borders without identification yet we are happy for Cyberspace to breach these boundaries anonymously...