Things I nearly did right

[ColinEssex]

Friend decides he will do the necessary but is not a natural born killer,

Unusual in the US isn't it?

Col

 

[rainman89]

Unusual in the US isn't it?

Col

See.... now why would u throw that little jab in there?

 

[ColinEssex]

See.... now why would u throw that little jab in there?

Just struck me as unusual

Col

 

[GaryPanic]

Dan - nearly wet myself just reading this one.


Something along those lines
I used to be in the Army and had to teach a training course on how to butcher a rabbit - skin and prepare

anyway there I am - surround by 6 footers all hard men (I mean Hard)

so I get the old bunny out whizz bang - dead - skinned, gutted in about 10 mins

these 15-20 lads were letting old floppies loose - could not kill the bunney - a person no problems but old bunnykins - nooooo.

there I am runnign after these rabbits having to do em in as they would stand no chance at all ...
g

 

[dan-cat]

Dan - nearly wet myself just reading this one.


Something along those lines
I used to be in the Army and had to teach a training course on how to butcher a rabbit - skin and prepare

anyway there I am - surround by 6 footers all hard men (I mean Hard)

so I get the old bunny out whizz bang - dead - skinned, gutted in about 10 mins

these 15-20 lads were letting old floppies loose - could not kill the bunney - a person no problems but old bunnykins - nooooo.

there I am runnign after these rabbits having to do em in as they would stand no chance at all ...
g

LMAO reminds me of one of fave cartoon characters...

 

[KalelGmoon]

I have a couple of good ones:

a few years ago I was going to a get together for the company I was working for. my vehicle over heats and blows the head gasket. I just thought it was overheating so I pull over to the side of the road into a filling station and proceed to pour several gallons of cold water on this hot engine block. needless to say I had to replace the entire engine as the heads and block had been cracked int he process.

Another one:

My wife and I had been married a couple years and we had decided to cover the hardwood floors with carpet. we go to the store get the carpet delivered and we start on cutting it to size, the first cut or two went ok. the third or so I was cutting back towards me with the carpet between my legs. I know you think this is going there but it isn't. the knife slips and i end up with a nice inch long cut in the palm of my hand, the meaty part by your thumb, all the way to the bone. needless to say we go tot he hospital and they are like oh an emergency, well you need to go to this clinic over here that is where the Dr's are. so we go there and I get 6 or so stitches in my hand. I didn't get any blood on the carpet though. Wifey was pissed because I was pretty much worthless for the rest of the weekend trying to get this carpet laid, with only one hand and all and not being able to cut anymore.

 

[Newman]

Just remember another one...
I had a meat cardboard box on the floor with plastic straps on it. I didn't want to use my very sharp knife to cut them, so I used a dull one. But it was so dull that instead of cutting the strap, it slided upon it 'till it went right into my calf. That was in the 80's with the ultra tight jeans. So I went to the toilets to take a look at how deep it was. As soon as I let the jeans down, the release of pressure made my blood spill all over the walls. It wasn't a major cut, half an inch wide by one inch deep, but the pressure made the spill very frightning. I called for help and my boss came in and sent me to the emergency.

The boss was mad at me because I didn't tell anyone before I went to the toilets and I could have fell uncounscious without anyone to help me against loosing all my blood if it had been a more serious cut.

When I was at the hospital, the nurse asked me how it happens. I said that I cut myself with a knife at work. She ask what was my job and I said butcher. She looked at me strangely, probably wondering how I could have cut my calf while slicing steaks.

 

[boblarson]

Just remember another one...

DANG! With all of the ones you've shared it's amazing you're still alive!

 

[Newman]

Am I???

 

[Ron_dK]

Am I???

Bien sur , quand tu repete :
La nuit passée, j'étais dans le lit regardant vers le haut tient le premier rôle dans le ciel et pensé à me, « où l'estacade à claire-voie est-elle le plafond ?


Sorry got a bit offside

 

[carlnewboult]

i love this thread cheers me right up on a friday when I have no work to do.