What's your best/worst joke? (2 Viewers)

[conception_native_0123]

no i don't know him richard.

 

[Isaac]

One reason I have refused to GET a smartphone is to avoid that kind of stuff. Flip-phone will work fine for me.

@The_Doc_Man
Doc, where are you on this issue now?

 

[The_Doc_Man]

Kind of had no choice as my flip-phone died a couple of years ago when the 3G network in my area finally went off-line.. @Isaac, how old was the post where you found that quote?

I now have a Samsung A71 smart phone (5-G capable) which I use sparingly. My "weekly usage report" (it's an Android) says "less than 8 minutes" most of the time. Wife and I text occasionally. When waiting at the doctor's office, I browse the forum ghost-style via Chrome. Hardly anything else. I absolutely do NOT do any banking or other financial stuff over the phone.

 

[Isaac]

how old was the post where you found that quote?

I wanna say it was 2019 or 2021. Thus I was quite curious how times had changed for you.

I know a guy who still doesn't use cell phones. Secretly I admire him, but I'm hooked on them as many are and cannot do without it. Well, I could, but I live as though I couldn't.

For many years I prided myself on the fact that a $35 cricket smartphone could do everything I wanted - which was very much the truth, and I proved you don't need an expensive phone to use all the basics - all the normal Google apps gmail, calendar, photos, docs and all the regular stuff like chrome, good security, etc.

Then finally a carrier offered me a Pixel 6a for 'free', and I switched - really like it. It's the best phone I ever dreamed of, and it's not even a full Pixel, apparently.

So I was just curious about your journey along these lines. I still use the computer for most serious things, although I do use banking app and Amazon app on the phone and I read a lot of articles on the phone. But for serious work or even serious play, I use the computer still.

 

[NauticalGent]

 

[Isaac]

leave it to the brits to drive on the opposite side of that which almost the entire planet earth considers 'primary' - the right!

 

[Minty]

leave it to the brits to drive on the opposite side of that which almost the entire planet earth considers 'primary' - the right!

Contentious, in fact roughly 35% of the global population drive on the left side of the road.

There is/was a logical reason behind it a short time ago, something to do with Jousting I think.

 

[NauticalGent]

Contentious, in fact roughly 35% of the global population drive on the left side of the road.

There is/was a logical reason behind it a short time ago, something to do with Jousting I think.

Not bad, Minty:

An except:

In the past, almost everybody travelled on the left side of the road because that was the most sensible option for feudal, violent societies. Since most people are right-handed, swordsmen preferred to keep to the left in order to have their right arm nearer to an opponent and their scabbard further from him. Moreover, it reduced the chance of the scabbard (worn on the left) hitting other people.

And a map:

 

[Isaac]

What's contentious about a driving rule based on feudal swordsman? But OK.

 

[Isaac]

I blame the French...

Even we have movies here where someone will act in a strange way, and a guy will say "he's probably French". Older movies, mostly, as nowadays you can't say anything that might offend any class of people of course!

 

[Isaac]

Coincidentally, Babylon Bee just did something on metric vs. everything else, remember this is pure satire, not even intended to be true, but kind of funny perhaps.

10 Real-Life Examples Of Why American Measurements Are Better Than The Communist Metric System

Should we measure things in inches or centimeters? Pounds or kilograms? Miles or whatever it is they use in Europe? The answer is clear: we should use American units as God intended. The metric system was invented by Communists to overthrow capitalism and institute a New World Order. Luckily...

babylonbee.com

My favorite one is this:

 

[Isaac]

Get the flock out of here!

Oh, my! I'm sorry if I upset you UG

 

[The_Doc_Man]

Talking about driving (left OR right side of the road), I just saw a "traffic sign" (of sorts) from a national park. It said (paraphrased): Warning! If you do not pay attention to road conditions in bad weather, you may be subject to natural selection.

Got to admit that some Louisiana drivers will fall prey to natural selection because they don't know what that means.

 

[jdraw]

Good one Doc!
Reminds me of one I heard years ago. The setting is the introduction of roads and rules, We're introducing the rule that cars must drive on right side of the road..... and if this works well, then in one year we'll adjust to apply same to trucks and motorcycles.

 

[The_Doc_Man]

I can almost believe the "face transplant" part, but whole-head transplants? I am reminded of the 1962 B-movie "The Brain That Wouldn't Die" and how well that turned out. SPOILER: It didn't do so well.

I would think that you COULD transplant the head - but connecting the nervous system to regain motor control - fine or otherwise - might be a touch more difficult. Not to mention reconnecting the autonomous nervous system, since you probably want the patient to keep breathing and still have a heartbeat afterwards.

 

[moke123]

reminds me of this show

 

[Isaac]

 

[conception_native_0123]

It tickled me

it would.

 

[The_Doc_Man]

Even we have movies here where someone will act in a strange way, and a guy will say "he's probably French". Older movies, mostly, as nowadays you can't say anything that might offend any class of people of course!

Watched an older movie recently where this kind of dialog happened. In the Matthew Broderick Godzilla movie (1998), French actor Jean Reno took a supporting role with a lot of screen time. He's a member of a French Foreign Legion commando group. At one point, he discharges an automatic weapon and another character asks "Where did you get this guy?" ... To which Matthew's character says, "Oh, he's French." And that was enough to end the conversation!

 

[The_Doc_Man]

Geez, you'd think they had never seen a boner before.