What's your best/worst joke? (3 Viewers)

[Isaac]

how old was the post where you found that quote?

I wanna say it was 2019 or 2021. Thus I was quite curious how times had changed for you.

I know a guy who still doesn't use cell phones. Secretly I admire him, but I'm hooked on them as many are and cannot do without it. Well, I could, but I live as though I couldn't.

For many years I prided myself on the fact that a $35 cricket smartphone could do everything I wanted - which was very much the truth, and I proved you don't need an expensive phone to use all the basics - all the normal Google apps gmail, calendar, photos, docs and all the regular stuff like chrome, good security, etc.

Then finally a carrier offered me a Pixel 6a for 'free', and I switched - really like it. It's the best phone I ever dreamed of, and it's not even a full Pixel, apparently.

So I was just curious about your journey along these lines. I still use the computer for most serious things, although I do use banking app and Amazon app on the phone and I read a lot of articles on the phone. But for serious work or even serious play, I use the computer still.

 

[NauticalGent]

 

[Isaac]

leave it to the brits to drive on the opposite side of that which almost the entire planet earth considers 'primary' - the right!

 

[Minty]

leave it to the brits to drive on the opposite side of that which almost the entire planet earth considers 'primary' - the right!

Contentious, in fact roughly 35% of the global population drive on the left side of the road.

There is/was a logical reason behind it a short time ago, something to do with Jousting I think.

 

[NauticalGent]

Contentious, in fact roughly 35% of the global population drive on the left side of the road.

There is/was a logical reason behind it a short time ago, something to do with Jousting I think.

Not bad, Minty:

An except:

In the past, almost everybody travelled on the left side of the road because that was the most sensible option for feudal, violent societies. Since most people are right-handed, swordsmen preferred to keep to the left in order to have their right arm nearer to an opponent and their scabbard further from him. Moreover, it reduced the chance of the scabbard (worn on the left) hitting other people.

And a map:

 

[Isaac]

What's contentious about a driving rule based on feudal swordsman? But OK.

 

[Uncle Gizmo]

I blame the French...

 

[Isaac]

I blame the French...

Even we have movies here where someone will act in a strange way, and a guy will say "he's probably French". Older movies, mostly, as nowadays you can't say anything that might offend any class of people of course!

 

[Isaac]

Coincidentally, Babylon Bee just did something on metric vs. everything else, remember this is pure satire, not even intended to be true, but kind of funny perhaps.

10 Real-Life Examples Of Why American Measurements Are Better Than The Communist Metric System

Should we measure things in inches or centimeters? Pounds or kilograms? Miles or whatever it is they use in Europe? The answer is clear: we should use American units as God intended. The metric system was invented by Communists to overthrow capitalism and institute a New World Order. Luckily...

babylonbee.com

My favorite one is this:

 

[Uncle Gizmo]

Coincidentally, Babylon Bee just did something on metric vs. everything else, remember this is pure satire, not even intended to be true, but kind of funny perhaps.

10 Real-Life Examples Of Why American Measurements Are Better Than The Communist Metric System

Should we measure things in inches or centimeters? Pounds or kilograms? Miles or whatever it is they use in Europe? The answer is clear: we should use American units as God intended. The metric system was invented by Communists to overthrow capitalism and institute a New World Order. Luckily...

babylonbee.com

My favorite one is this:

Get the flock out of here!

 

[Isaac]

Get the flock out of here!

Oh, my! I'm sorry if I upset you UG

 

[The_Doc_Man]

Talking about driving (left OR right side of the road), I just saw a "traffic sign" (of sorts) from a national park. It said (paraphrased): Warning! If you do not pay attention to road conditions in bad weather, you may be subject to natural selection.

Got to admit that some Louisiana drivers will fall prey to natural selection because they don't know what that means.

 

[jdraw]

Good one Doc!
Reminds me of one I heard years ago. The setting is the introduction of roads and rules, We're introducing the rule that cars must drive on right side of the road..... and if this works well, then in one year we'll adjust to apply same to trucks and motorcycles.

 

[Uncle Gizmo]

I put this in the jokes thread because I can't decide if it's real or some sort of April Fool!

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1793045981954523464

 

[The_Doc_Man]

I can almost believe the "face transplant" part, but whole-head transplants? I am reminded of the 1962 B-movie "The Brain That Wouldn't Die" and how well that turned out. SPOILER: It didn't do so well.

I would think that you COULD transplant the head - but connecting the nervous system to regain motor control - fine or otherwise - might be a touch more difficult. Not to mention reconnecting the autonomous nervous system, since you probably want the patient to keep breathing and still have a heartbeat afterwards.

 

[Uncle Gizmo]

connecting the nervous system to regain motor control - fine or otherwise - might be a touch more difficult.

The robot arms have the look and feel of a movie prop...

 

[moke123]

reminds me of this show

 

[Uncle Gizmo]

Take the dogs for a walk!

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[Isaac]

 

[Uncle Gizmo]

Husband and wife row over an energy saving bulb v a sound activated bulb.... It tickled me!!!

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