What's your best/worst joke?

Now we need to distribute that report to the Democrats after the Iowa caucus turned out to be SUCH a disaster.
 
A weathered, old cowboy walked into a barbershop one day. He told the barber, “I can’t get all these whiskers off anymore. My face is too wrinkled from years out in the sun.”

The barber reached over and picked up a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf. The barber told the old cowboy, “put this in your mouth and press it up against your cheek with your tongue to spread out the skin.”

After the barber had finished his shave, the old cowboy he felt of his now whisker free cheek, and smiled. He told the barber, “That was the cleanest shave I’ve had in years.” He paused for a moment and then said, “I do have one question though. What would have happened if I had accidentally swallowed that little ball?”

The barber replied, “Everything comes out in the end. You would have just brought it back in a few days like everyone else has.”
 
OK, just to comply with the video creator's request, that song was a parody of the theme song from the USA Western Post-Civil War TV show "Branded" starring Chuck Conners.
 
Watched those shows as a kid. My wife met Chuck Connors at the palm springs airport when she was a teenager
 
house_got_tpd.jpg
 
A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath. "Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies “I do not know, Sir. I am only here to wash your upper body and feet. He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure & heart rate worrying about his testicles.

Nurse overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.

She looks very closely and says, "There is nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,
"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very, carefully:

"Are - my - test - results - back?"
 
Sadly, one of our local businesses (a dog kennels) has gone bust - just heard they have had to call in the retrievers.

And a nearby company that makes kitchen blenders is considering they may have to go into liquidation
 
CJ_London said:
Sadly, one of our local businesses (a dog kennels) has gone bust - just heard they have had to call in the retrievers.

And a nearby company that makes kitchen blenders is considering they may have to go into liquidation
Click to expand...
those are just WRONG. :p
 
I knew a girl named Rosita whose husband was Jesus. Nice Mexican couple.
 
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