An open letter to Adam/vba_php (1 Viewer)

The_Doc_Man

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Adam,

Another member of the forum (and it wasn't Gina Whipp) called my attention to this thread.

EDIT: Link to the MS forum removed as no longer relevant. The comments by Adam have been deleted after those were reported to the site admins

In it, you reported a problem with the DCount function not compiling correctly. During the lengthy discussion, you made some very unkind comments about me and also about Colin (Isladogs). You were also quite derogatory about Microsoft in general. You also claim that our forum's help isn't very good.

In that referenced thread, Gina attempted to reproduce the problem but could not do so, even though she used multiple versions of Access. All she had to do was to fix a couple of references. This WAS NOT AN ACCESS PROBLEM but rather was your inability to install and configure Office correctly. It is perhaps strange that we haven't had quite so many problems with installation of Office or Access. But somehow, things just "go bad" for you. Such a shame that Microsoft picks on you for every bad thing that can go wrong.

Your overwhelming arrogance forced you to initially disbelieve that you could have been doing something wrong. It seems that later in the thread, you might have eventually realized that it was partly your problem for having a bad connection that caused downloads to abort because near the end of the sequence you reported the problem as resolved.

I will be as polite as possible here: You have been rude to us. You have tried to brag about your skills under circumstances that made it hard for us to see them in a favorable light. You have been insufferably impolite to strangers. As my dear old aunt H. once said, "You ain't had the proper upbringin', for sure."

When you became active here, you started almost immediately by making derogatory remarks, insulting new members, and giving bad advice to the new folks. You called it "being playful" but I don't see it that way. Uninvited familiarity is the basis of the "Me, too" movement. Let's hope for your sake that you don't try that with a liberated woman.

To see you slamming AWF and individual volunteer members (including me) because we DARED to disagree with you or not take a more active "mentoring" role is a sign of a real problem - but not MY problem. Your overwhelming need for approval isn't satisfied here, perhaps because we recognize your true level of expertise does not exactly match your advertised level. Hey, you're human, I'll cut you some slack for that failing - but it would be nice to recognize it. I absolutely KNOW that I am imperfect. I make it a point to keep out of discussions where I don't feel I have expertise, and I drop out of threads where it veers in a direction where I have no skills. You? Not so much in that regard.

I still do not wish you ill, Adam. You are entitled to your opinion. However, your disdain for this forum's volunteer members is clear for all to see. Your weak advice as offered to others is equally clear for all. Perhaps you aren't quite as smart as you think you are. I don't know. But I know you don't show it and don't act like it.

You might need to rethink your interpersonal interaction choices, Adam, because you are definitely NOT following the advice from How to Win Friends and Influence People. I have tried to be cordial and I see that I have been insulted in another forum that I don't even visit very often. Were you trying to hide your rudeness hoping that we wouldn't find you out? You begged Gina to not reveal anything to the AWF and she didn't. But she's not the only one to use that forum.

I have tried to avoid vulgarity, vituperation, and excessive vilification. Therefore, I will close by saying that if you wanted to use me as a personal reference for a future job, it would be an unwise choice. The saddest part is that you have already made so many unwise choices that I no longer know what to expect from you.

If you feel you must dispute my analysis or comments, go right ahead. But beware of turnabout. You've exposed your shortcomings on TWO forums now, Adam, and rather than acting like an eager student, you've acted like an insufferable know-it-all. One last word of advice: I didn't start REALLY learning anything until AFTER I knew it all. You clearly haven't gotten there yet.

- Richard
 
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vba_php

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I understand Richard. Those words might just get me banned from this place. If it does, so be it. I can't undo what I said there. I guess what I was intending to say basically, was that, the *apparent* negativity of some folks around here isn't something I'm willing to get involved with because there are a lot of healthier alternatives. But now that you've brought it to light, I don't think I'll post my *other* thread I was going to post, which was basically a goodbye thread. So I think what I'll do now that I've seen this thread by you, is leave on a high note (if I'm even there yet). Hopefully my posts will help people who visit the place in the future. Thanks for pointing it out Richard. Regardless of what we've talked about, I suppose I still respect you simply because you've much more life experience than I. So I wish you luck sir. Enjoy your "grandpa" days. =)
 

The_Doc_Man

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Thank you, Adam, for maintaining civility. I truly regret that in certain issues, you and I do not have full understanding or agreement. I would like to think I am flexible but I know that in my senior years, I can be a bit difficult when confronted unkindly.

Having said what I said earlier, I apologize if you think it said anything unfairly. But that is the problem with responding to perceptions. You can't ever see the truth; you can only see your view of the truth. And I can't apologize for saying what I thought to be true.

Adam, I don't know if you will go on that job training situation we discussed privately. But I can offer a wish for your good luck in finding an amenable solution to whatever you were seeking.

I offer you this thought, Adam, to ponder regarding our apparent negativity. Cats make great, cuddly pets, but they scratch the hell out of you if you rub them the wrong way. Just remember that ALL repeat ALL interpersonal relationships are reflections. We all instinctively apply the Golden Rule in that if you treat us badly, you will get some of that back at you. Or that old phrase, "What goes around comes around." If you can't see that the negativity has its roots within YOU, then you will have a hard time in life as you continue to alienate people.

- Richard
 

Micron

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You've said that so many people you've had to interact with have some sort of shortcoming and it's down to the fact that they're programmers or whatever. Funny how you chose that as the common denominator as opposed to you being what all that negativity has in common. The fact that you managed to create a new account doesn't really matter because your arrogance, lack of knowledge, penchant for taking liberties and other traits (I don't want to clue you in too much) will be like a spotlight on your sorry soul. Nuff said lest I let you goad me into telling you what I really think.
 

NauticalGent

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This thread and the other re-affirms two things:
1. My opinion of Young Buck was spot-on
2. Gina is a Saint.
 
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Gina handled that like a pro, also Doc should be commended for hanging in there and giving Adam the benefit of the doubt.

I found the monastery comments to be the most interesting.
 

Micron

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Gina handled that like a pro, also Doc should be commended for hanging in there and giving Adam the benefit of the doubt.

I found the monastery comments to be the most interesting.
Hopefully he's joining, newbies (Minks?) have to take a vow of silence, and that vow includes typing.
 

isladogs

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For info, following me reporting the thread linked in post #1, the admins at the MS Forum have now edited the thread, removing the three worst posts and editing others.
I think we should all be grateful both for their prompt action and the support of Gina Whipp.
 

vba_php

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I found the monastery comments to be the most interesting.
AB,

I'm on my way out, but since Colin's banishment period on me is now over, I thought I would get back to you on this. What exactly do you find interesting about my monastery comments? to be honest with you guys, I've never talked to a more intelligent and wise person in my life. The 2 hour conversation with the monk I had could rival any other conversation I've had in my 39 years on this earth....
 

The_Doc_Man

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For me, Adam, the point of curiosity is a matter of whether you learned anything of value from the conversation. It is one thing to be in awe of someone. I've actually had that once, in college, when a particular physicist gave a guest lecture at Univ. of New Orleans. The guy was bloody brilliant. It is entirely another thing to gain wisdom by hearing and then contemplating and then finally adopting what you heard from that awe-inspiring person.

What I learned from the gentleman at an early point in my career is that often the models you build to represent the real world are flawed. I knew that even before PCs were first created and I had almost zero knowledge of databases at the time. But since then I have come to appreciate the difficulty, significance, and necessity of being careful about the maps you create to represent a territory.
 

vba_php

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For me, Adam, the point of curiosity is a matter of whether you learned anything of value from the conversation. It is one thing to be in awe of someone. I've actually had that once, in college, when a particular physicist gave a guest lecture at Univ. of New Orleans. The guy was bloody brilliant. It is entirely another thing to gain wisdom by hearing and then contemplating and then finally adopting what you heard from that awe-inspiring person.

What I learned from the gentleman at an early point in my career is that often the models you build to represent the real world are flawed. I knew that even before PCs were first created and I had almost zero knowledge of databases at the time. But since then I have come to appreciate the difficulty, significance, and necessity of being careful about the maps you create to represent a territory.
I think this is just another piece of evidence where we differ, Richard. I wasn't in *awe* of the monk, but rather we had a back and forth and the mutual respect was plentiful between both of us. Since obviously we have something in common, that just made things even better. But that is different than you and I when we talk, since you don't believe that stuff.
 

The_Doc_Man

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Which leads me to the separate question: Adam, given the way that other forums have started reviewing and altering or even dropping your posts, have you come to realize that you are often your own worst enemy?

I say this without accusation. Many people's difficulties in any endeavor stem from their approach. I don't dispute your intelligence. I don't dispute your skills in creating apps or programs. It is my considered opinion that your approach to people is what gives you the greatest grief. You once said that you respected me for my experience and/or knowlege. (For which I say, thank you.) I am trying to give you something back without being disrespectful in turn.

There is an old saying that you might wish to contemplate. If you are religious, you have heard it once or twice. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Some of your negative comments invite negativity. The modern equivalent is "What goes around comes around." But it's the same concept.

There are myriads of viewpoints in this world, but you can isolate certain components to make comparative dichotomies to emphasize particular factors. So, having prefaced my approach here, there are two kinds of people in the world who seek advancement.

One kind does his/her best to tear down those who appear to be ahead of them. Such a person creates "political capital" and demands quid pro quo often.

The other kind helps others without concern for payback. Such a person asks for nothing and as a result is admired or even pushed forward by those s/he has helped. It is not a matter of "calling in favors." It is a matter of earning respect and trust.

The question is, which one wins? The answer is that there are so many criteria to define "winning" that there is no right answer. Yes, the "social accountant" will get some jobs because potential bosses just want someone who is a "Damn the torpedos, full speed ahead" type. The "social philanthropist" will get other jobs because some people are more interested in folks who can persuade others without bullying, cajoling, or demeaning them. But there is one criterion for winning in which I know you are interested.

You claim to be religious and I do not doubt that for a moment. You suggested in your other Watercooler thread (religiously themed) that what Jesus wants is well known. Do YOU honestly think He wants someone whose negativity causes that person to be shunned by all and sundry? This is an example of the ultimate irony - an atheist trying to school a Christian on behavior. But I guess stranger things have happened.
 

vba_php

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Which leads me to the separate question: Adam, given the way that other forums have started reviewing and altering or even dropping your posts, have you come to realize that you are often your own worst enemy?
that might be the case sometimes, but not everytime. and as time goes on, I'm getting better. so give me some slack, would ya? :eek:
You claim to be religious and I do not doubt that for a moment.
I told you to be careful with that word, Mr. Grandpa. ;) There's a huge problem in this world regarding people who don't believe in Christ being mistaken about the difference between "religious people" and "followers of Christ". For the most part, those are 2 different things. The true followers, that I'm talking about, generally convey the right attitude, whereas the religious folks are generally negative in nature and don't have open-mindedness in their lives whatsoever. case in point => "religious wars" that are constantly being fought in the middle east. and of course, that makes no sense and never has. The most dangerous phrase ever to come out of that area of the world was Bin Ladan's famous one: "Its our holy war". Or something like that. Is there such a thing as a holy war!? Unbelievable non-sense.
You suggested in your other Watercooler thread (religiously themed) that what Jesus wants is well known. Do YOU honestly think He wants someone whose negativity causes that person to be shunned by all and sundry?
no. the famous quote by Jesus suggests that, when he tells actual followers 2000 years ago this:
Matthew 7:5


"You hypocrite! First, remove the beam out of your own eye, and then you can see clearly to remove the speck out of your brother’s eye."
 

The_Doc_Man

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so give me some slack, would ya?
Adam, we are ALL "works in progress." Why do you think I am NOT excoriating you right now? All people are worth saving. The question is, "From what" - and the answer is not ALWAYS about sin.

As to calling you "religious" - that is in opposition to my position. You have religious beliefs. I also have beliefs about religion - they are just not compatible with your beliefs and choices.

Sadly, "holy war" is exactly how too many followers of too many religions see it. The viewpoint is simple: "I'm right, you are wrong, and if you don't see it my way, I will kill you." The same viewpoint that God supposedly imposed on the Amalekites.

If you look at some USA Christians, there is a holy war as this nation struggles with the rights of individuals to be true to themselves DESPITE what the pulpit pounders say. The hatred that is spewed from such people - who claim to follow Jesus, the great Forgiver - is sickening. And it is that intractable hatred that leads to holy wars.
 

vba_php

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The hatred that is spewed from such people - who claim to follow Jesus, the great Forgiver - is sickening. And it is that intractable hatred that leads to holy wars.
thats why Richard, if you want to explore christianity as a whole or want to know what the new covenant means, you need to talk to people like me or the monk I talked to at the monastery. we are the good people, whereas the "false" teachers of the world are people like Joel Osteen, Joyce Meyer, Peter Popoff, and so many others I can't even mention them here cuz my hands would get tired of typing! =) and I didn't mean to say "you" when talking about exploring this belief system, but rather *anyone* who wants to talk about it. Good talk. thanks grandpa. :)
 

Frothingslosh

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Just as a quick butting in, the Golden Rule that Doc paraphrased is Matthew 7:12:

Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you:
do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets
Matthew 7:5 is about condemning people, while 7:12 is the summary of the entire sermon.
 

vba_php

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Matthew 7:5 is about judging people.
i don't think so, bud. Jesus *has* the authority to make those comments, because he was flawless. but no one else has the authority because everyone else is flawed. I'm just talking about the portion I posted for richard.
 

Frothingslosh

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Then I suggest you go reread that entire chapter again, bud. You posted that as being the Golden Rule he was paraphrasing, when his paraphrase is of 7:12. 7:5 is him telling people off for condemning someone, because none of the people doing the condemnations were free of sin, making them hypocrites.
 

vba_php

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Then I suggest you go reread that entire chapter again, bud. You posted that as being the Golden Rule he was paraphrasing, when his paraphrase is of 7:12. 7:5 is him telling people off for condemning someone, because non of the people doing the condemnations were free of sin, making them hypocrites.
hmmmm....well let me get back to you, *bud* ;) I'll just go take a look....
 

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