What's your best/worst joke? (5 Viewers)

No, Keith only LOOKS that old. And smells like a corpse that would be that old. But it ain't so, McGee.
 
Dawn.jpg
 
Burglar breaks into a house and ties up the man and woman in there
As he's about to threaten them the man bursts into tears and says "Take everything I'll open the safe for you, you can have my watch, take anything you want but please let her go!"
The burglar says "You must love your wife very much"
And the man replies "Not particularly but she's due home in half an hour"
 
I think this is funny but some may not.

An engineer I knew was a navigator on bombers flying from near Leeds in the war. He said that on one trip he saw the rear gunner staggering across the runway to the plane with two carrier bags. When the gunner passed him in his “cupboard” he asked if he’d shout down the plane when they were over Leeds. Which he did, then they all went to work and he forgot about it.
On the way back, once they were over the English Channel everyone relaxed and they’d chat and wander around the plane. He met the rear gunner and asked about Leeds.

Well, he said. Last night I went on a night out in Leeds and it was terrible (or words to that effect).

So I threw two bags of bricks out!!
 
My opinion of beer has been expressed before. Now that my liver and I are in a mutual cease-fire, alcohol is off my list entirely. But even as far back as college, I never liked beer. Goes in yellow and foamy with a strong odor. Comes out yellow and foamy with a different but still strong odor. I got tired of being a middle man who changes one stink for another.
 
I've never really understood the draw of beer.........an oddly stomach-turning syrupy thing with alcohol to boot.
Plus so inefficient to get to the goal...

But I am off alcohol now too.

It is definitely fair for conservatives to use their wallet and choice of shopping to express themselves at least as much as it is the opposite
 
Find me a home where the buffalos roam and I’ll show you one smelly house.
 
Anyone who steals MY Office will steal something (slightly) older than my car - and it is out of warranty, finished one extended warranty after-market contract, and is on its 2nd extended warranty.

My initial response would be "My Word, what do you want with THAT hunk'a junk?"
 
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