What's your best/worst joke? (1 Viewer)

[Cotswold]

I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I’ll tell you what, never again.

 

[NauticalGent]

 

[NauticalGent]

 

[CJ_London]

 

[KitaYama]

 

[Isaac]

 

[The_Doc_Man]

Uncle G, you reminded me of a limerick.

A lesbian lass from Khartoum
brought a gay young lad to her room.
Their terrible fight
lasted all night
about who would do what to whom.

 

[The_Doc_Man]

Oh, I get it... he is writing the story of Sam Houston State University including the time before their current name when they were an Institute of Technology.

 

[Cotswold]

Do you ever find that when you’re half way through eating a horse, you stop and think to yourself......"I’m not as hungry as I thought I was?'

 

[Dick7Access]

Easy for you guys to say. I am in so many cities, so many restaurants, so few meals. tough, job but somebody's got to do it.

 

[The_Doc_Man]

Next time you are in our neck of the woods, Dick, if we have a few days' notice, my wife can whip up a pot of real Cajun jambalaya for lunch. And she makes a really good jambalaya. The extra notice is because it is best created overnight in a crock pot.

For those who don't know, jambalaya is a rice-and-meat dish which usually includes sausage, diced ham, shredded chicken, and other things depending on "pot luck from the freezer". Not particularly spicy unless the sausage brings something extra to the table. VERY filling. Add a salad or a side veggie and it is a pretty nutritious and satisfying meal.

 

[Dick7Access]

Next time you are in our neck of the woods, Dick, if we have a few days' notice, my wife can whip up a pot of real Cajun jambalaya for lunch. And she makes a really good jambalaya. The extra notice is because it is best created overnight in a crock pot.

For those who don't know, jambalaya is a rice-and-meat dish which usually includes sausage, diced ham, shredded chicken, and other things depending on "pot luck from the freezer". Not particularly spicy unless the sausage brings something extra to the table. VERY filling. Add a salad or a side veggie and it is a pretty nutritious and satisfying meal.

Good timing Doc, as I am planning to go to Mobile, AL in Dec. Since my wife has passes I don't need her scooter and I am giving it to my sister in law. As soon as my sister in law decides what day in Dec. she wants to receive it I will let you know. "Jambalaya" is definingly the draw, (many people consider me a a cajon) but of course I will not be able to resist picking Brain. I am also planning a trip to RI in May, but Pat hasn't offered me any food yet.

 

[The_Doc_Man]

Nail down the day and I'll see what we can do. If wife says "I'm making chicken and sausage gumbo that week" would that be a deal breaker for your visit?

 

[Cotswold]

A joke for Brits!

https://twitter.com/x/status/1862546291705745610

An excellent factual observation Uncle. Here is another.

Fourteen years ago, the previous Labour government under Bliar spent over 600 hours debating to end fox hunting.
Last Friday, the present Labour government under 2Tier-Keir Stalin, spent just five hours debating, before approving to euthanise whoever whenever they see fit.
Maybe one reason for this is Stalin's idea that it will save the NHS money and reduce the state pension bill? So another of Labour's many Win, Win solutions.

 

[murray83]

Why do programmers prefer dark mode?

Because light attracts bugs!

 

[ruthdavida]

A guy went to a psychiatrist. "Doctor," he said, "I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee, and then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?"

The doctor replied, "It's very simple. You're two tents."

Good One!

 

[NickCoe(UK)]

My mother in law said she wanted 'Bath Stuff' for Xmas.

So I bought her a toaster.

 

[NickCoe(UK)]

Feller went to the Docter. Said."I keep catching things Doc."
Doctor replied."Stop chasing them then you..."

 

[Cotswold]

 

[Cotswold]

Giving a bunch of goat herders, just off the boats, jobs on road repairs is proving to be a mistake.

However, I have been told that the person in charge of this gang was Angela Raynor. Which may just explain it as she has only just started doing sentences and things.
(for those in the USA, Raynor is the Deputy PM. She follows Stalin around all the time dressed in the most ludicrous clothes having moved on from shell suits since her promotion.)