What's your best/worst joke? (1 Viewer)

One for BrianWarnock

An extract from the Liverpool Echo (Liverpools Evening Newspaper)

LIVERPOOL ECHO(AP) - a 7 year old boy was at the centre of a Liverpool courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him The boy had a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible. The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with his grandparents, the boy cried out they also beat him.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that
domestic violence was a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After 2 recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to Everton Football Club whom the judge firmly believed are incapable of beating anyone.
 
LOL :D Thanks for that David, having a birthday nosh tonight so will tell it to son-in-law an Evertonian since birth, number plate contains EFC

Brian
 
david.brent said:
An extract from the Liverpool Echo (Liverpools Evening Newspaper)

LIVERPOOL ECHO(AP) - a 7 year old boy was at the centre of a Liverpool courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him The boy had a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible. The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with his grandparents, the boy cried out they also beat him.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that
domestic violence was a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After 2 recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to Everton Football Club whom the judge firmly believed are incapable of beating anyone.


Good one :)

Had me going...
 
Happy Birthday Brian. Enjoy your nosh tonight...
My other favourite is..

Oxo have launched a new gravy to celibrate Evertons European adventure this year. It's called Laughing Stock.

Take care
 
Popped Culture
Actor James Coco observed that aging star Don Ameche won an Oscar for "break-dancing" in Cocoon. Only all his dancing was done by a stunt double. Doesn't the dancer deserve his own junior Oscar?
 
Everything You Always Wanted to Know But Were Too Smart to Ask
How can you tell if your're living in a stupid city?

Look out the window. If the air has a color and it's not bluee, you might want to consider moving. If you can't see the air because they're hiding it under smog, that's another clue. If the town your're living in contains the initials NYC or LA, time to smarten up by moving someplace else.
 
Lol... you are so right.. i love it and it's so true!
 
The Business of Stupidity and Vice Versa
Car companies spend millions researching the names for new models. Chevrolet came up with NOVA, then found they couldn't sell it in Latin America because "no va" in Spanish means "doesn't go".
 
FoFa said:
The Business of Stupidity and Vice Versa
Car companies spend millions researching the names for new models. Chevrolet came up with NOVA, then found they couldn't sell it in Latin America because "no va" in Spanish means "doesn't go".
Sorry FoFa, it's a cute joke but completely false:

Once again, Snopes.com to the rescue
 
I can't believe this thread is still going!!

It must be 7 months since I've last logged in and this is still one the most current threads in the watercooler!!

Ok... I need to post a joke in order for this to continue....

What jokes could've been missed in the last 996 posts????

Q: Why don't blondes make good pharmacists?
A: They can't get the bottle into the typewriter.
 
Welcome back Andy, nice to see that you stil have a few blonde jokes up your sleeve, of course you only remember them because they are so short :p

Hay
 
A man locks himself out of his car and calls the AA to help him get in...

The man from the AA turns up and rubs his hands on his trousers and the door springs open, the driver is amazed!

The man from the AA then gets into the drivers seat and then rubs his trousers again and the car starts, the driver is completely dumfounded!!

He asks the man from the AA how did you manage that?

The man from the AA replies "Simple really, I'm wearing my khaki trousers!"

:D
 
Maybe its a British thing... I don't get it.
 
World's Thinnest Books

FRENCH WAR HEROES
by Jacques Chirac

HOW I SERVED MY COUNTRY
by Jane Fonda

MY BEAUTY SECRETS
by Janet Reno

HOW TO BUILD YOUR OWN AIRPLANE
by John Denver

MY SUPER BOWL HIGHLIGHTS
by Dan Marino

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL
by Hillary Clinton

MY LITTLE BOOK OF PERSONAL HYGIENE
by Osama Bin Laden

THINGS I CANNOT AFFORD
by Bill Gates

THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY
by Dennis Rodman

MY WILD YEARS
by Al Gore

AMELIA EARHART'S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC

AMERICA'S MOST POPULAR LAWYERS

DETROIT: a Travel Guide

A COLLECTION of MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES
by Dr. J. Kevorkian

ALL THE MEN I HAVE LOVED BEFORE
B y Ellen de Generes

GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE
by Mike Tyson

SPOTTED OWL RECIPES
by the EPA

YHE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY

MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS
by O. J. Simpson

Bridge Travel by Ted Kennedy

And the world's Number One Thinnest Book

MY BOOK OF MORALS
by Bill Clinton
with introduction
by The Rev. Jesse Jackson

:p :p :p
 
More Worlds thinnest books

The American book of diplomacy
The truth, by George Bush
Where I went wrong by George Bush
Justification for killing wild animals by Kenny
Recipe book for real ale by Budweiser
America's most popular politician
A COLLECTION of MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES by George Bush
MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS Johnson
Super bowl highlights.
 
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World's Thinnest Books (continued)

Things I say that are clever
By Rich

Things I say that are cute
By Rich

My never ending hardon with George Bush (oops, this would be a thick book)
By Rich

My never ending hardon with America (as would this)
By Rich
 
Rich said:
More Worlds thinnest books


Where I went wrong by George Bush

QUOTE]

Surely according to you this would be a very thick book :confused:
Does your hatred blind you to the obvious and logical

Brian
 
Brianwarnock said:
Rich said:
More Worlds thinnest books


Where I went wrong by George Bush

QUOTE]

Surely according to you this would be a very thick book :confused:
Does your hatred blind you to the obvious and logical

Brian
No of course not since he would be writing the book himself. Get it?
I don't hate anybody Brian, please don't label me with that trait
 

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