Notes From A Thoughtful Husband (1 Viewer)

[selenau837]

Trouble is it was ours to start with

Nope, what is yours is ours and what is ours is ours.

 

[Rich]

Don't know why did you marry yours the first few times?

Temporary insanity

 

[selenau837]

Temporary insanity

I see

 

[Rich]

Nope, what is yours is ours and what is ours is ours.

Depends on the marriage contract

 

[selenau837]

Depends on the marriage contract

It's always in there, you just have to view the small ,white fonted, print.

"What's yours is ours and whats ours is ours"

 

[Rich]

by their religion - not their husband

Col

Yes but who changed the law that allowed a man to sell his wife ?

 

[lmnop7854]

The following is a public service announcement!

Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will find a coat hanger and fiddle with it long after hypothermia has set in. Calling AAA is not an option. I will win--even if it results in damage to the door or window.

Because I'm a man, when the car isn't runn ing very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now--what with all these computers and everything--I don't know where to start. We will then drink a couple of cold beers and curse the infernal machine.

Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed moaning. You're a woman and never get as sick as I do, so for you, this should be no problem.

Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic necessities at the store--things like milk, bread, eggs or toilet paper. I cannot, however, be expected to find exotic items like paprika or tofu. For all I know, they're the same thing.

Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart--despite the evidence that it'll cost twice as much or more when the repair person arrives and has to put it back together.

Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it... though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator...

Because I'm a man, there's no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The truth is, it's always either sex, cars, sex, sports or sex, or sex. I have to make up something else when you ask, so please, just don't ask.

Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too.

Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't. However, if you're feeling amorous afterward, I will certainly remember its title and recommend it to others.

Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With or without the belt, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2006, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming and the dishes. I'll take care of the rest. . . . Like wandering around in the garden with a beer, wondering what to do.

This has been a public service message intended to help women better understand men.

********************************************************

Ok, guys, have I got it now? I'm practicing my demure look, but it doesn't really fit me very well.


Lisa

 

[selenau837]

Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it... though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator...

Ohh my GAWD. I actually laughed out loud. I saw my neighbor poke her head at me to see what I was laughing at.

That last line is absolutly precious.

 

[ColinEssex]

Obviously refers to the American males. We in the UK of course are nothing like this.

Col

 

[dan-cat]

You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming and the dishes.

You forgot the yard-work

 

[selenau837]

You forgot the yard-work

Nope she didn't, she got it right.

I'll take care of the rest. . . . Like wandering around in the garden with a beer, wondering what to do.

 

[dan-cat]

Nope she didn't, she got it right.

Why would I be wandering around the yard when I've got a perfectly good hammock

 

[Rich]

Because I'm a man, there's no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The truth is, it's always either sex, cars, sex, sports or sex, or sex.

What else is there worth thinking about?

 

[lmnop7854]

What else is there worth thinking about?

We women marvel at how you men hold down jobs with that kind of thinking process.

Lisa

 

[Brianwarnock]

We women marvel at how you men hold down jobs with that kind of thinking process.

Lisa

It's called being able to do more than one thing at a time

Brian

 

[MrsGorilla]

It's called being able to do more than one thing at a time

Brian

You mean multitasking?

 

[Brianwarnock]

You mean multitasking?

Thinking about sex, drinking a beer aren't tasks

Brian

 

[Brianwarnock]

My fantastic wife has just brought me some melon to eat, all sliced and afork, as dinner is nearly ready, what a gal!!

Brain

 

[selenau837]

My fantastic wife has just brought me some melon to eat, all sliced and afork, as dinner is nearly ready, what a gal!!

Brain

She sounds like a Gem of a wife. Better keep her happy, or else that fork may be in more places than the melon.

 

[Rich]

My fantastic wife has just brought me some melon to eat, all sliced and afork, as dinner is nearly ready, what a gal!!

Brain

You've taught her well Bri