What's your best/worst joke? (5 Viewers)

[kevlray]

Related to the story about the Rottweiler. The story goes (I think I heard it told as a true story), that a burglar broke into a house late at night. Coming into the house it was very dark. He heard a voice say "I see you and Jesus sees you", startled the burglar did not know what to think. He took a couple more steps and he heard the voice again, "I see you and Jesus sees you", now his curiosity got the better of him. He found a light switch an turned it on. In the room he saw a parrot and underneath the parrot cage, he saw a large dog. Then the parrot says "I see and Jesus sees you, Jesus sic him".

 

[CJ_London]

topical groaners

Hannibal Lecter: "Never mind, when the food runs out we've still got each other".

Breaking news: The World Health Organisation has determined that dogs cannot catch the Corona Virus Disease Covid-19 so all dogs that have previously been quarantined are now being released. To be clear - WHO let the dogs out.

Apparently in Germany they are preparing for further crises by stock-piling sausage and cheese. This is a Wurst Kase scenario.

 

[deletedT]

It's not a joke. But it made me laugh, years ago when I first read it.


I had a problem, I decided to write a program to solve that.
Now I have 1 problem, 9 errors And 12 warnings.

 

[deletedT]

Breaking news: The World Health Organisation has determined that dogs cannot catch the Corona Virus Disease Covid-19 so all dogs that have previously been quarantined are now being released. To be clear - WHO let the dogs out.

Just in case you've forgotten the original version. oh......How much I loved this song.

 

[vba_php]

Hannibal Lecter: "Never mind, when the food runs out we've still got each other".

The Hilarious ‘Silence of the Lambs’ Joke You Missed…

This morning I was reading up on Oscar wins for Jonathan Demme’s 1991 The Silence of the Lambs, and that’s when I came across a shocking discovery. While I’m sure a few of you smart-asses (I say that with love) already know this, I literally had no idea that Hannibal Lecter’s infamous quote, “I...

bloody-disgusting.com

 

[AccessBlaster]

I hope someone gets back in that dam Delorean and fixes this mess!!!!!!!

 

[vba_php]

I hope someone gets back in that dam Delorean and fixes this mess!!!!!!!

speaking of the delorean and this movie, this is quite entertaining:

 

[AccessBlaster]

Made my own mask’s!

 

[vba_php]

Made my own mask’s!

is that BACON? Lol

 

[The_Doc_Man]

If I wore one of those masks on my daily walk, every dog in my neighborhood would be my friend. So much for social distancing.

 

[vba_php]

this might not be the best joke in the world, but it is certainly worth a peek:

 

[CJ_London]

 

[The_Doc_Man]

I know some folks who would LOVE to have one of those around.

 

[AccessBlaster]

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=3337091146318513

 

[vba_php]

Hey ab that video has been around for quite some time I've seen it many times over at this point. Especially the portion of the woman getting out of the hot tub and tripping it

 

[AccessBlaster]

Yeah I get these from a friend, I really have no idea how old they are.

 

[vba_php]

Gotta love the polish country.

 

[AccessBlaster]

 

[vba_php]

AB,

have you heard the old strategy that if you play the slots close to the door, you'll have a better chance of winning because the owners want to show the lights going off to the outside passers-by?

 

[AccessBlaster]