What's your best/worst joke? (1 Viewer)

[Gasman]

What is pineapple pizza? Is that yellow things pineapple? How somebody can eat a sweet pizza?
I'm glad they don't sell it here.

Tera,

My friends in the USA have driven over 35 miles or so, to a pizza parlour as their dessert pizzas are well renowned.

 

[NauticalGent]

DEDUCTIVE REASONING

Neighbor 1: "Hi, there, new neighbor, it sure is a mighty nice day to be moving"

New Neighbor: "Yes, it is and people around here seem extremely friendly"

Neighbor 1: "So what is it you do for a living?"

New Neighbor: "I am a professor at the University, I teach deductive reasoning"

Neighbor 1: "Deductive reasoning, what is that?"

New Neighbor: "Let me give you and example. I see you have a dog house out back. By that I deduce that you have a dog."

Neighbor 1: "That is right"

New Neighbor: "The fact that you have a dog, leads me to deduce that you have a family"

Neighbor 1: "Right again"

New Neighbor: "Since you have a family I deduce that you have a wife"

Neighbor 1: "Correct"

New Neighbor: "And since you have a wife, I can deduce that you are heterosexual."

Neighbor 1: "Yup"

New Neighbor: "That is deductive reasoning"

Neighbor 1: "Cool"

Later that same day

Neighbor 1: "Hey, I was talking to that new guy who moved in next door"

Neighbor 2: "Is he a nice guy?"

Neighbor 1: "Yes, and he has an interesting job"

Neighbor 2: "Oh, yeah what does he do?"

Neighbor 1: "He is a professor of deductive reasoning at the University"

Neighbor 2: "Deductive reasoning, what is that"

Neighbor 1: "Let me give you an example. Do you have a doghouse?"

Neighbor 2: "No"

Neighbor 1: "Fag."

 

[Minty]

Ham and pineapple is a popular pizza variety in Australia.

It's readily available on the shelves here in the UK.

Just because it's popular doesn't make it right...

 

[NauticalGent]

When I was a wee lad at the tender age of 18, I was stationed in Atsugi, Japan. A short train ride would take me to the great city of Yokohama where there was a Shakey's Pizza.

We would go there to eat at a familiar restaurant and meet girls...I was more successful with the former...long story...I'm about as smooth as sandpaper

It was there that I was introduced to ingredients that I would have NEVER put on pizza - two of those were shrimp and pineapple.

Folks, don't knock it til you try it!

 

[CJ_London]

A long time ago I worked for a company that made 80m pizza's a year, which put me off the smell of cheese and tomato for years. I also have an allergy to mushrooms so many pizza toppings are off my list anyway. When we do have pizza I tend to go for 'Hawaian' - but there are definitely good 'uns and bad 'uns

 

[The_Doc_Man]

Just because it's popular doesn't make it right...

Didja ever hear of guilty pleasures? Although to be true, if I had a ham and pineapple pizza available and ate it, I wouldn't feel even a momentary pang of guilt. Maybe a little dyspepsia, but no guilt.

 

[AccessBlaster]

Coronaville

 

[deletedT]

When you're on social media, you see a hundred versions of the same thing.
I've seen so many versions of this. But I don't know why only this one seemed funny to me.

 

[AccessBlaster]

They found the old bat who started the virus

 

[The_Doc_Man]

AB, the rumor is that the virus was started by someone who ate a bat. Who in their right mind would want to eat THAT?

 

[AccessBlaster]

Lol @ Doc

 

[NauticalGent]

Ya nasty....

 

[Deleted member 147267]

I've said elsewhere here that they are a protein staple in some countries. I've seen pics (supposedly of that wet market) of dozens of bats stacked belly side up on a table like they were vegetables or something. If you're poor and desperate enough you'll eat just about anything to stay alive. If enough people do something often enough it becomes the norm.

 

[The_Doc_Man]

True that, Micron. Which is why Cajuns eat stewed nutria. (If in doubt, look it up as Coypu, it's South American name.)

 

[AccessBlaster]

In the poorest parts of Mexico they will eat animals from snout to tail and even the hoofs, but they don't infect the rest of the world.

 

[Deleted member 147267]

True that, Micron. Which is why Cajuns eat stewed nutria. (If in doubt, look it up as Coypu, it's South American name.)

Hard to know where to draw the line. Would you eat a capybara if you were lost in the jungle? It looks more like a hairy pig or maybe a wild boar without the tusks. Yet it's a rodent too.

 

[AccessBlaster]

Britney Spears says she accidentally burned down her home gym, but couldn't dial 911.

She couldn't find the "eleven" in 911.

 

[AccessBlaster]

 

[AccessBlaster]

 

[isladogs]