What's your best/worst joke? (4 Viewers)

[Isaac]

One of the coolest things to see is people in the AA program finding God, which virtually all of them do (some exceptions).
Interesting, isn't it, that just about everyone who REALLY recovers from alcohol/drug addiction does so through AA, and does so through surrender to a "higher power".

They find far more freedom and joy in that surrender than most people do in their "free" rebellion.

Trying to run your own life doesn't work. We weren't meant to. We were meant to submit to the lordship of Jesus Christ.

In that is where true happiness and freedom is found. I've listened to 10,000 testimonies to prove it - and that's JUST in 12 step.

 

[Dick7Access]

One of the coolest things to see is people in the AA program finding God, which virtually all of them do (some exceptions).
Interesting, isn't it, that just about everyone who REALLY recovers from alcohol/drug addiction does so through AA, and does so through surrender to a "higher power".

They find far more freedom and joy in that surrender than most people do in their "free" rebellion.

Trying to run your own life doesn't work. We weren't meant to. We were meant to submit to the lordship of Jesus Christ.

In that is where true happiness and freedom is found. I've listened to 10,000 testimonies to prove it - and that's JUST in 12 step.

Amen

 

[The_Doc_Man]

@Isaac - PLEASE take this as the gentlest of reminders that your religious comments in post #3721 could have many other places to be in AWF, but this is a joke thread. I am as guilty as anyone else of occasionally hijacking a thread, and you have just done so. Even as I vehemently disagree with what you posted, I will not argue it here. I will simply suggest that there is a better place to have that argument.

 

[CJ_London]

The room was full of pregnant women with their husbands.

The instructor said, "Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier.

Just pace yourself, make plenty of stops and try to stay on a soft surface like grass or a path."

"Gentlemen, remember -- you're in this together. It wouldn't hurt you to go walking with her. In fact, that shared experience would be good for you both."

The room suddenly became very quiet as the men absorbed this information.
After a few moments a man, name unknown, at the back of the room, slowly raised his hand.

"Yes?" said the Instructor.

"I was just wondering if it would be all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"

 

[NauticalGent]

 

[conception_native_0123]

now that's a good one Gent. LOL

 

[NauticalGent]

 

[The_Doc_Man]

No, Keith only LOOKS that old. And smells like a corpse that would be that old. But it ain't so, McGee.

 

[NauticalGent]

 

[Uncle Gizmo]

Nicked from Twitter:-


The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Max, invented and developed
the first automobile air-conditioner.

On July 17, 1946 , the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees.

The four brothers walked into old man Henry Ford's office and sweet-talked his secretary into telling him that four gentlemen were there with the most exciting innovation in the auto industry since the electric starter.

Henry was curious and invited them into his office. They refused and instead asked that he come out to the parking lot to their car.

They persuaded him to get into the car, which was about 130 degrees, turned on the air conditioner, and cooled the car off immediately.

The old man got very excited and invited them back to the office, where he offered them $3 million for the patent.

The brothers refused, saying they would settle for $2 million, but they wanted the recognition by having a label, 'The Goldberg Air Conditioner,' on the dashboard of each car in which it was installed.

Now old man Ford was more than just a little anti-Jewish, and there was no way he was going to put the Goldberg's name on two million Fords.

They haggled back and forth for about two hours and finally agreed on $4 million and that just their first names would be shown.

And so to this day, on all Ford motor vehicles, the air conditioner controls show --

Lo, Norm, Hi, and Max -- on the controls.

 

[CJ_London]

Burglar breaks into a house and ties up the man and woman in there
As he's about to threaten them the man bursts into tears and says "Take everything I'll open the safe for you, you can have my watch, take anything you want but please let her go!"
The burglar says "You must love your wife very much"
And the man replies "Not particularly but she's due home in half an hour"

 

[Uncle Gizmo]

Sperm donation!

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1683132801170776065

 

[Uncle Gizmo]

It has ceased to be!

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1683545959295229954

 

[Uncle Gizmo]

Ha!

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1683827596759552000

 

[Cotswold]

I think this is funny but some may not.

An engineer I knew was a navigator on bombers flying from near Leeds in the war. He said that on one trip he saw the rear gunner staggering across the runway to the plane with two carrier bags. When the gunner passed him in his “cupboard” he asked if he’d shout down the plane when they were over Leeds. Which he did, then they all went to work and he forgot about it.
On the way back, once they were over the English Channel everyone relaxed and they’d chat and wander around the plane. He met the rear gunner and asked about Leeds.

Well, he said. Last night I went on a night out in Leeds and it was terrible (or words to that effect).

So I threw two bags of bricks out!!

 

[NauticalGent]

Bud light will turn you "Trans"

Bud light has gone bad. #budlight #dylanmulvaney #beer #funnyshorts #bar #funny

youtube.com

Here's a news-flash: Bud Light was a sorry excuse for beer WAY before the trans issue. I have to admit, I am enjoying this "Go woke, Go broke" trend much more than I should!

 

[The_Doc_Man]

My opinion of beer has been expressed before. Now that my liver and I are in a mutual cease-fire, alcohol is off my list entirely. But even as far back as college, I never liked beer. Goes in yellow and foamy with a strong odor. Comes out yellow and foamy with a different but still strong odor. I got tired of being a middle man who changes one stink for another.

 

[Isaac]

I've never really understood the draw of beer.........an oddly stomach-turning syrupy thing with alcohol to boot.
Plus so inefficient to get to the goal...

But I am off alcohol now too.

It is definitely fair for conservatives to use their wallet and choice of shopping to express themselves at least as much as it is the opposite

 

[conception_native_0123]

Bud Light was a sorry excuse for beer WAY before the trans issue.

I guess you weren't drinking that at Big Grove then.

 

[NauticalGent]

I guess you weren't drinking that at Big Grove then.

No sir, too many awesome craft beers from local breweries to settle for slop