What's your best/worst joke? (29 Viewers)

[The_Doc_Man]

Adam, I have to admit a congenital defect. I can't pass up a straight line or any other opportunity for a riposte of some sort.

Kind of like in Who Framed Roger Rabbit, when it was revealed that Toons can't pass up completion of the "shave and a haircut" jingle.

 

[NauticalGent]

"shave and a haircut"

...twoooooo bits!

 

[conception_native_0123]

fair enough. ugh.

 

[KitaYama]

 

[KitaYama]

 

[jdraw]

Just saw this:

Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight.

 

[The_Doc_Man]

"When the phone was tied with a wire- humans were free..! This is so true! I have found myself wasting far too much time on my mobile phone lately. I have now removed easy access to YouTube and although it was a bit difficult at first it's freed up some time! I strongly recommend that anyone that feels their phone is imposing on their life is to leave the phone switch off, in a draw for a day, somewhere where you can't get at it easily. After your initial angst you will find that it's a nice experience...

When I was still working as a U.S. Navy contractor, I was on call 24x7 and used a cell phone, always kept it charged. Once I retired, the rule changed. I still charge up the phone but it is turned off most of the time. When I'm on the road or have to go grocery shopping or when I'm taking one of my daily walks, it is on for safety or in case my dear wife just remembered something for the shopping list. Otherwise, the electronic leash is turned off. I tell doctor's offices that my cell phone is not a good number and they look at me strangely. Then I tell them that the ONLY phone that is always on is the home phone and it has a recorder.

 

[KitaYama]

The problem with this haphazard shopping is men do not browse shop, men target shop, they go straight to the thing they want, in and out job done

 

[CJ_London]

 

[CJ_London]

 

[AccessBlaster]

 

[Isaac]

Just saw this:

Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight.

So true! Except I've reached that stage at 43. I very, VERY rarely see 11 pm, for example, and quite rarely see 10 pm.
830-9 is my target bedtime. (Then again, I'm up at 5 to 530).

 

[Cotswold]

Here is one specially written for The Doc Man.....................enjoy

There was this guy who stayed up all night because he wanted to know where the Sun went.
Then it dawned on him.

 

[AccessBlaster]

 

[Isaac]

 

[The_Doc_Man]

A few years ago, the joke was that there was a Sam Houston Institute of Technology. The institution in question was actually Sam Houston College but the joke wouldn't go away, particularly when talking about the cheerleader squad ... "Give me an S, give me an H, give me... what does it spell?" you get the idea.

 

[Isaac]

That's funny. Reminds me of after 9/11, (I believe that's when it was, that 'ISIS' became a household name), I felt bad for the various businesses and institutionalized acronyms that had never had any problem being 'ISIS' before

 

[KitaYama]

 

[bob fitz]

skeletons never go to a discotheque because .................. they have nobody to dance with

 

[CJ_London]