What's your best/worst joke?

[Rich]

1. Scouser's Quiz
3. Q. Two Liverpool girls jump off a cliff. Who wins?
   A. Society.
   
   Q. What does a Liverpool girl use as protection during sex?
   A. A bus shelter.
   
   Q. What do you call a 30 year old Scouse girl?
   A. Granny.
   
   Q. Why did the Scouse girl cross the road?
   A. To start a fight with a complete stranger for no reason whatsoever.
   
   Q. What do you call a Scouse girl in a white tracksuit?
   A. The bride.
   
   Q. What's the first question during a Scouse quiz night?
   A. What you looking at?
   
   Q. Two Scouse kids in a car without any music - who is driving?
   A. The policeman.
   
   Q. What's the difference between a Scouse boy and a Scouse girl?
   A. A Scouse girl has a higher sperm count.
   
   Q. What's the most confusing day in Liverpool ?
   A. Fathers day
   

 

[KenHigg]

What the heck is a scouse?

 

[MSAccessRookie]

What the heck is a scouse?

Wikipedia says that "Scouse" refers to a person from Liverpool. Perhaps someone here has another explanation.

 

[georgedwilkinson]

I understood the blonde lady...what did the rest of them say?

 

[Rich]

What's even more incredible is that four lads with the same speech impediment went on to be the greatest pop band in the world

 

[namliam]

Wikipedia says that "Scouse" refers to a person from Liverpool. Perhaps someone here has another explanation.

Scouse is a person from liverpool, but with a bad bad bad anotation to it...
The people in liverpool are generally viewed as not beeing the most "social" of people... Which is offcourse a preconception, biggatary (sp?), awfull, discrimatory kind of thing... but... thats a scouser

 

[Pauldohert]

A scouser is anyone from Liverpool.

http://www.merseyshop.com/products/...product_id=965&variation_id=2357&search_term=


Of course scouser is used , usually by the ignorant and bigoted as some kind of negative, classing a heterogeneous population on a negative found everywhere.

Peoples use of the word is usually a good indicator of the character of the person using it , rather than the subject themselves.

I give Richs posts 1807 followed by 1809 to give the negative form of the word its usual context.

Police in London have found a bomb outside a mosque..

They've told the public not to panic as they've managed to push it inside.

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Two Asian heroin addicts have injected themselves with curry powder by mistake - both are in intensive care...

One has a dodgy tikka and the other one is in a korma.


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During last night's high winds an African family were killed by a falling tree.

A spokesman for the Birmingham City Council said 'We didn't even know they were living up there'.

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Asian Minorities in the UK have complained that there is not enough television shows with minorities in mind, so Crimewatch is being shown 5 times a week now.


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I just saw that Harry Potter film. A bit unrealistic if you ask me. I mean, a ginger haired kid, with two friends?

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I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train. He was chuffed to bits.


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A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year old daughter.

Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them.... they are bound to be curious about Sex at that age."

"Curious about Sex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her appendix out!"


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I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick pocketed.

How could anyone stoop so low?


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I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet.

I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"​

The scouse jokes were funny once, probably first time they were told - in 1972.

 

[Rich]

A scouser is anyone from Liverpool.

http://www.merseyshop.com/products/...product_id=965&variation_id=2357&search_term=


Of course scouser is used , usually by the ignorant and bigoted as some kind of negative, classing a heterogeneous population on a negative found everywhere.

Peoples use of the word is usually a good indicator of the character of the person using it , rather than the subject themselves.

I give Richs posts 1807 followed by 1809 to give the negative form of the word its usual context.





The scouse jokes were funny once, probably first time they were told - in 1972.

Don't shoot the bloody messenger especially when you've become a slave to the "PC" brigade

 

[Groundrush]

The scouse jokes were funny once, probably first time they were told - in 1972.

I've been living in Liverpool for over 17 years now & have also heard the same jokes.

Difference being that Scouser is usually replaced by Brummie, Manc, Geordies, Cockney's or Woolyback.

 

[Rich]

And there was I thinking that Scousers had a sense of humour

 

[MSAccessRookie]

Scouse is a person from liverpool, but with a bad bad bad anotation to it...
The people in liverpool are generally viewed as not beeing the most "social" of people... Which is offcourse a preconception, biggatary (sp?), awfull, discrimatory kind of thing... but... thats a scouser

Thanks for the information. It was close to what I thought, but it is good to know the additional details.

 

[Brianwarnock]

I have also heard the jokes before Rich and thought they were funny, but they are old, but then there is always somebody that has heard the joke before , do we condemn Rich for that.

Also I believe that Scouser is reserved for people from a small part of the inner city, just as cockney is in London, I doubt if they had not been famous John and Paul from the Posh suburbs would have been considered scousers.

Brian

 

[Rich]

I have also heard the jokes before Rich and thought they were funny, but they are old, but then there is always somebody that has heard the joke before , do we condemn Rich for that.

Also I believe that Scouser is reserved for people from a small part of the inner city, just as cockney is in London, I doubt if they had not been famous John and Paul from the Posh suburbs would have been considered scousers.

Brian

Which part did our kid Ciller come from?

 

[Brianwarnock]

Scotty road, definitely a scouser.

Brian

 

[Rich]

Scotty road, definitely a scouser.

Brian

Actually miss not seeing her on the box anymore

 

[Brianwarnock]

Actually miss not seeing her on the box anymore

Its her dulcet tones that I miss. I wonder how much her elecution lessons cost.

Brian

 

[Pauldohert]

Would someone from a few streets away from Ringo be a scouser then Brian?

No offense meant or taken.

 

[Brianwarnock]

Would someone from a few streets away from Ringo be a scouser then Brian?

No offense meant or taken.

I'm a Lancashire lad, it was my wife that lived a few streets from Ringo, which was the Princess Park area of what is now Toxteth rather than the Dingle, the educated (ie posh ) people of the area did not consider themselves as scousers, but Ringo ? probably.

I'm not clear where the definitive scouser area is to the South and East but to the North I don't think it went much past the end of Scotty road, but maybe somebody else knows better.

Brian

 

[Rich]

Would someone from a few streets away from Ringo be a scouser then Brian?

No offense meant or taken.

Please post questions on another thread and not this one!

 

[Brianwarnock]

Which part did our kid Ciller come from?